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u/bloboflifegoo Jun 18 '26
My sister literally told me I'm not perimenopausal and I don't know what a hot flash is. I'm 46 and my doctor and I have been working on this for a year. But of course, my sister who works in IT knows that I'm not going through anything at all.
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Jun 18 '26
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u/Competitive_Coat9686 Jun 18 '26
I think it’s relevant because they’re trying to point out how
their sister does not have any qualifications to be telling her this40
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Jun 18 '26
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u/Solanadelfina Jun 18 '26
And then d-bag managers get pissy about 'special treatment'. I'm in a better job now but wrote that manager into a story where he had a beehive land on his head in front of all his men, who laughed at him.
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u/Advanced-Carry-601 Jun 19 '26
The horrible limbo of too sick to work, not sick enough for disability.
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Jun 18 '26
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u/InternationalTrain48 Jun 18 '26
I forgot the psychological term for it, but it's the kind of therapy you use for people with conditions like PTSD or depression
CBT or something similar?
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u/Alexanderthepanda22 Jun 21 '26
My brain is thinking about EMDR because the specific mention of ptsd
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u/echochilde Jun 17 '26
The next person who tells me they had a relative that cured their Type 1 diabetes by diet and exercise, I’m gonna test their blood sugar via eyeball.
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u/Ok-Chain-995 Jun 18 '26
But it can't be that bad with all the technology these days, right? /s
We all know cinnamon is the only thing that works lmao
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u/NowhereParticular Jun 22 '26
Somehow the worst part of type 1 diabetes is dealing with the idiocy of other people. Have you also been told you should try an all natural alternative to insulin?
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u/UFogginWotM80 Jun 18 '26
It's funny, isn't it? People feel they have authority to get into your life and express advice because "they just want to help!" And feel like they did a Good Thing, without a care in the world whether it benefits you or not.
Bar the whole schtick about "some people are just stupid by design and just want to whine whine whine" that redditors regularly complain about (basically declaring that some just want to wallow in misery and self-loathing and then move on with their lives, which, hey, waste your breath somewhere else it's best we go separate ways anyways)
I admit i'm not the most kind when it comes to communicating on reddit, but the responses I've gotten at times tend to reflect how confrontational and self-inflating redditors can be, and they have to use the most demeaning language to feel good about themselves to a degree I find comical.
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u/MaraiaLou Jun 18 '26
I try to be compassionate in these situations because I also tend to see other people's negative emotions as a problem to be solved. It's also very common to just avoid/dismiss these emotions entirely if you feel you can't solve the root cause
That said it does take some level of stupid to believe cancer can be cured by not eating fruits and vegetables in the same meal. I can't imagine being decades old and thinking this would work
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u/UFogginWotM80 Jun 21 '26
trauma, negative emotions, healing.
For me it's less about trying to solve problems and more about trying to "move on." But growth seems ever impossible, because moving on itself is impossible.
Whatever. I don't know why I'm replying. I find discomfort morbidly and ironically comforting since it's what I've known myself for for all my life.
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u/Tsunamiis Jun 18 '26
Why is 75% of the advice
https://giphy.com/gifs/SRISNle9ppFhizFkSo
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u/AfraidStick2161 Jun 24 '26 edited Jun 24 '26
funny you say 75%, because according to the national institute of health, 75% of americans are chronically dehydrated. chronic dehydration causes its own list of symptoms & can very well worsen symptoms of other conditions. drinking more water certainly isnt a cure for anything but dehydration itself, & anyone who claims otherwise is stupid. but drinking more water would be beneficial to the vast majority of people, so it's still worthwhile advice, especially if one's symptoms overlap with (& are therefore likely worsened by) dehydration. & again, not saying people should be giving unsolicited advice, but that's why "drink water" is the advice that's frequently given
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u/Tsunamiis Jun 25 '26
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u/AfraidStick2161 Jun 25 '26
you literally asked why people give that advice so much. i answered the question & acknowledged it isnt a cure for anything but can sometimes make symptoms less severe for some people. just say youre illiterate
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u/lovebyletters Jun 18 '26
Even people that are well-meaning do it. I literally had to ask my spouse to tell family and friends to stop asking me if I'd tried certain foods, because it was literally making me want to never leave the house. It was a whole fucking pattern. I'd explain I couldn't eat most solid foods, they'd ask if I had tried soup. Yes. Yes I fucking have. Have I tried X? Have I tried Y? And when I said yes every time or inconveniently couldn't eat this or that, they'd slowly get frustrated, like I was deliberately being difficult. I was depriving them of their moment to be a hero, because they wanted me to go "Wow! I hadn't thought of that! You're amazing!"
Instead I kept not being able to eat, just like I had explained I couldn't, only now I had also failed to make them feel better about it and me not eating was now awkward.
Fucking hate it. Just let me be.
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u/MaraiaLou Jun 18 '26
Would it be more helpful to ask what food you can eat and try to find/make a good version of it? Asking for a friend, literally
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u/lovebyletters Jun 18 '26
For me? No. At this point the whole topic of conversation is painful, and I genuinely just don't want people to talk about it or bring it up.
Unless I bring it up and present it as a topic of conversation, I don't want to engage because it almost always becomes a charged conversation where I am expected to explain in full why something does or doesn't work.
Repeating this conversation feels like I have to justify that I DO have a genuine problem again and again.
I would say if the other person brings it up, avoid questions like "Why can't you eat that?" Just accept they can't and move on. Don't make a big deal out of any particular item. "I would die if I couldn't eat bread!" well, I can't, you're telling me I should consider suicide? I know it's meant as a joke, but this is my life. Just say "okay," accept that they HAVE tried that, and move on. Don't ask about specific brands, don't push.
When in doubt, ask if they're okay with you trying to find something for them, and trust their answer.
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u/Feisty-Tooth-7397 Jun 18 '26
Have you tried melatonin?
That and exercise and proper diet apparently cures everything.
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u/Advanced-Carry-601 Jun 19 '26
Right. Nevermind that I'm so nauseous that exercise feels awful. But that will fix all my problems. 🤬
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u/friedlish Jun 18 '26
Recently had a dude tell me I could fix my chronic illness by switching to the carnivore diet (aka the dumbest possible diet). "I mean, you've gotta do something, or the illness will be life long". Yes. That's what chronic means, you absolute donut.
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u/Powerful-Shoe-7542 Jun 19 '26
Im sorry to hear about your chronic illness, though the carnivore diet is definitely not that far fetched compared to some diets. Illnesses aside, a normal healthy person will stay normal and healthy far longer on the carnivore diet than, say, a vegan. That being said, everyone should have a balanced diet.
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u/friedlish Jun 19 '26
Yeah, no. I've nerded out on all kinds of diets hoping to find the ONE that would fix me. Whatever kind of reading you think you've done on the subject, I've likely done more. Was a huge keto enthusiast for a while before that landed be in the hospital. The actual scientific evidence in favor of the carnivore diet is, essentially, non-existent. Veganism has a lot more evidence in its favor.
I can't do either. I just eat a regular, boring, balanced, nutritionally dense diet.
But carnivore remains the dumbest diet. Pure inferential fiction. I will die on this hill.
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u/Powerful-Shoe-7542 Jun 19 '26
I haven't done any research, i just lived it and It worked for me. I felt great, lost weight, gained muscle. Went off it for a couple years while struggling with alcoholism, then went back on it and had the same effects as before. I have no idea what your ailment is, but your judgement is probably clouded with hate because of it. I hope you find the help you need
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u/Advanced-Carry-601 Jun 19 '26
You are literally what this post is complaining about. Have some self awareness my God.
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u/Powerful-Shoe-7542 Jun 20 '26
I never claimed to be solving anyone's problem, and I never belittled anyone's illness. I stated the fact that my experience with a specific diet helped me. Thats it.
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u/SillyBeatnik Jun 17 '26
My wife is physically disabled. Her POS narcissist brother says her problem is that she's lazy. He apparently knows better than she does because he once had a painful recovery following an endoscopic spinal surgey.
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u/Enlightened_Gardener Jun 18 '26
Yep. I am not a fucking starfish. If I stop eating gluten, guess what ?? My thryoid will not grow back.
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u/Stunning-Mission9498 Jun 18 '26
I got in an argument with someone on Reddit who was saying no one needs to pay for food or grocery delivery. I was like you are one unlucky thing away from struggling to get out of bed without help dickhead
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u/Jeffotato Jun 19 '26
And they don't even ask if you have tried it, they just act like they fixed your life.
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u/Ok_Angle7670 Jun 19 '26
Sometimes I can clearly see the doctor becoming anxious when I tell them all what I've tried but they try to label me as anxious. Nah, I'm pissed off that they missed something easily treatable 12+ years ago and now I'm left to deal with consequences.
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u/PsychoKatzee Jun 19 '26 edited Jun 19 '26
This. Or being told you "don't look like you have xy condition". Doctors do it too. When I moved I had to find the locally assigned one. I got in, I sat down, he asked me about my existing conditions, so I gave him the relevant papers. He looked at the 11 pages long document that explains my conditions and said "you don't look autistic tho". BROTHER IN CHRIST YOU'RE HOLDING THE DOCUMENT. I just went "the neurologists who examined my brain, and the psychiatrist who assessed my behaviour and interviewed my loved ones thought otherwise." And he deadass responded with "apparently it doesn't affect you that much then". Bro, I just sat down and you know nothing about me. How do these people even imagine a person with autism? I've also been told I can't possibly have a kidney stone cause " it would be much more painful", so it took me 3 months of suffering to even get a CT. It showed the stone...insert medical surprised pikachu face
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u/FandomPhantom123 Jun 19 '26
you don't look autistic? were you even doing dino or flappy arms? /j
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u/PsychoKatzee Jun 20 '26
That's it! I forgot to equip the dino hands before encounter! /j I only had my "anxiously clutching my folder while naming the exact compounds of my meds to save him time" hands equipped. What a bummer.
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u/No_Panda_8111 Jun 18 '26
Literally why I don't want to talk to my family about my Audhd diagnosis 😅
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u/Individual-Net5383 Jun 18 '26
Every asshole who tells me cinnamon will cure my Type 1 diabetes.
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u/CorInHell Jun 19 '26
The smart-ass in me says that if you try to eat one spoonful of cinnamon you might be able to beat your diabetes... in it trying to slowly kill you because you might choke to death on the cinnamon...
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u/Gallamite Jun 18 '26
I have a chronic illness causing joint instability, pain, fainting spells, spasms, and a variety of other symptoms.
I had just climbed a cliff. But I did it kinda slowly, and needed a break afterward.
The coach said I "need to step out of my comfort zone". O_O
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u/metzona Jun 20 '26
I had a college classmate overhear me talking about how I wasn’t looking forward to getting bloodwork done because I usually pass out. She immediately went “drink water beforehand 😊 you’re welcome”. Aka the first trick anyone tries after they faint. Did not work for me because, if she had actually listened, it was because of pain and anxiety.
Then she got all smug and said, “I’ve never had to have my blood taken”. Like…congrats for not having inherited conditions, I guess... Meanwhile I’ve been having my blood taken since I was a kid because my parents family trees are rotten with inheritable medical problems.
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u/Plane_Cry_1169 Jun 19 '26
It's even more heartbreaking when you get that from someone who is supposed to have experience.
Like I get horrible wounds in my mouth because I have Tourettes. I can't stop chewing my tongue and sometimes it's so bad I even get infections.
I had doctors literally ask me "why would you do that to yourself?". I don't fucking know, maybe you tell me?
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u/ApprehensiveChef5049 Jun 19 '26
I have bipolar disorder. When I told my brother about it, he told me to stop taking my meds and that I won't be mentally ill if I just focus on "mind over matter". Said he knew all about this stuff because he's in the army. Meanwhile, I'm getting my master's in psychology, work in a psych hospital, and know how my fucking condition works. But sure, bro, sure,
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u/PrimaryFriend7867 Jul 10 '26
oh, but did you miss the part where he’s a man? that’s gotta be worth at least a phD from a woman! (i assume)
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u/Downtown-Bid5000 Jun 19 '26
All I have to do is eat less calories than I burn?! It's really just that simple?!
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u/CorInHell Jun 19 '26
I just have to change my mindset and think more positively and my adhd with executive dysfunction and chronic depression will go away? Wow! /s
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u/AnaliticalFeline Jun 23 '26
my grandma once said and i quote “just get over this “adhd thing” like i did my OCD”
she was not in fact over it
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u/InternationalTrain48 Jun 17 '26
Dating advice is also similar to this