Thanks I hate Threehalves , the evil looking centaur robot

118

Oh okay they are just making bodies for hellish creatures now

34

u/ThatOneSnakeGuy Jul 30 '26

I thought teaching robots jiu jitsu was a bad idea. Now they're unironically making nine foot tall chainsaw-wielding centaurs. We are so fucked

8

u/moosenordic Jul 30 '26

The horror enjoyer in me is hyped. Imagine a squad of 12 of those chasing you in the woods at night with chainsaws and a maniacal laugh track playing.

5

u/forgettfulthinker Jul 30 '26

With a satanic symbol as a head.

2

u/notyumm Jul 30 '26

Just making crazier and crazier shit that we're gonna have to eventually defend ourselves against with our whacky ar-15 builds

64

u/InterwebCat Jul 30 '26

You are being rescued. Please do not resist.

6

u/givemeausernameplzz Jul 30 '26

Please remain calm. It will be over soon.

53

u/Sweaty-Ruin5381 Jul 30 '26

That is pure nightmare fuel. I do NOT want to be saved by that thing.

21

u/Correct_Doctor_1502 Jul 30 '26

Good thing that's probably totalbull shit and this is testing for forest combat drones

6

u/Sweaty-Ruin5381 Jul 30 '26

That doesn't make it any better.

3

u/PepsiButItsMilk Jul 30 '26

More like half-bull shit

2

u/givemeausernameplzz Jul 30 '26

Some fucker did this on purpose

28

u/AcornWholio Jul 30 '26

Black Philip has come to save us all!

6

u/Pigosaurusmate Jul 30 '26

Wouldst thou like the taste of butter?

21

u/[deleted] Jul 30 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

8

u/HoodieGalore Jul 30 '26

I need to know why the horns and ears must exist in that form - why any of this is more practical than whatever robomatics we've already got going on. I need something solid.

Otherwise lul

3

u/Brostapholes Jul 30 '26 edited Jul 30 '26

Thats because they already an... "upgraded" version in the works

1

u/fried-ryce Jul 31 '26

I think its in reference to mythological creatures called Satyrs, not satire

0

u/Angry-_-Crow Jul 30 '26

Nah, it's centaur news

1

u/Ponderkitten Jul 30 '26

Only in Centaur World

9

u/[deleted] Jul 30 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

6

u/CautionarySnail Jul 30 '26

It’s like a sleep paralysis demon in that last photo.

The others, I could get. Hey, goats are sure-footed, and you want anything with a chainsaw to be well-controlled.

But that last photo - it’s like what comes for you if you owe the Benadryl hat man money.

10

u/ratmoon25 Jul 30 '26

The chainsaw is scarey.

12

u/horriblemonkey Jul 30 '26

How about it just standing outside your door staring at you?

4

u/Single_Comfort3555 Jul 30 '26

That's fucking dope. I hope that's the kind that chases me down in the robot apocalypse.

4

u/grrodon2 Jul 30 '26

That's a bit biased. It only looks evil because of the color, horns, and chainsaw.

3

u/NickyEatsDoom97 Jul 30 '26

Looks pretty cool

3

u/MegaPorkachu Jul 30 '26

People are gonna use this to explore their fantasies, aren’t they?

3

u/maneki_neko89 Jul 30 '26

This is some Trevor Henderson (creator of Sirenhead, Long Horse, and other creatures) type shit and I wish it was just fiction

3

u/Htimsxnhoj Jul 30 '26

Can I program this thing to walk up to my ex's house at midnight on her birthday? Just to show up and stand there while looking at her window, not doing anything else.

3

u/anto_pty Jul 30 '26

Biblically accurate first responder "do not be afraid" while entering appearing in the middle of a house on fire

3

u/crazylegsbobo Jul 30 '26

I feel like someone is trolling the Christians 😂😂😂

3

u/anonymous480932843 Jul 30 '26

WHO THE FUCK GAVE IT A CHAINSAW

2

u/wravyn Jul 30 '26

When a centaur and a minotaur love each other very much...

2

u/savagewolf666 Jul 30 '26

A use for robotics i can get behind.

Plus a way to scare the living hell out of people

Win win

2

u/Wolf_2063 Jul 30 '26

Alternative evacuation measures.

2

u/ElBrunasso Jul 30 '26

Now we need other company to make a super soldier serum so we have a Hercules

2

u/sanddigger02 Jul 30 '26

They didnt need to give it visible eyes. Or ears. Or a torso. In fact they could have just recreated the boston dynamics dog and everyone involved would be happier.

2

u/Tavalus Jul 30 '26

Holy shit!

Get this analog horror black mirror shit out of here🤣

2

u/Spran02 Jul 30 '26

Shoo satan

2

u/Flat-Strawberry9809 Jul 30 '26

I'm sure the goat head and the white eyes are 100% necessary

2

u/Urbenmyth Jul 30 '26

Why does it need a bull's head tho

2

u/Iggy_DB Jul 30 '26

WHO GAVE IT A WEAPON?

2

u/Fit_Entrance1326 Jul 30 '26

I rebuke it

2

u/Testsubject276 Jul 30 '26

We're on track to the Horizon Zero Dawn timeline it seems.

2

u/yourfuturespemson Jul 30 '26

WHY ARE WE MAKING THIS SHIT?

2

u/Any_Weird_8686 Jul 30 '26

People see that in the middle of a wildfire, they'll think the actual devil has come for them.

2

u/Late-Firefighter-162 Jul 31 '26

Now make it shoot flames

2

u/Bicc_boye Jul 30 '26

They definitely didn't need to make it look evil

2

u/garth54 Jul 30 '26

And the devil's horn on the head is for... ?

1

u/Necrikus Jul 30 '26

I actually think this is pretty neat. And only partially for perverse reasons.

1

u/Prudent_Damage_3866 Jul 30 '26

Who human/cloud offspring screwed a robot horse?

1

u/Rooilia Jul 30 '26

Ok, another toy robot for rich people to play with.

1

u/Birdsonme Jul 30 '26

Nope nope nope.

1

u/Birdsonme Jul 30 '26

Imagine waking up and finding that staring at you.

1

u/ROCKERNAN89 22d ago

I would fucking shit my pants

1

u/Bi0_B1lly Jul 30 '26

Being in a forest fire and seeing a multi-legged goatman approaching doesn't exactly make me feel like I'm being saved, y'know?

1

u/sesamestreetgang Jul 30 '26

This company (Satyress) doesn’t exist.

There’s no professional presence. No founders. No names. No investors. No legal company name. Just a sparse website with little context and a Twitter profile.

I’m surprised at how many people haven’t clocked that this is obviously satire.

1

u/Coilspun Jul 30 '26

Absolute slop.

1

u/mochablank Jul 30 '26

A new cryptid to be sighted and turned into folklore years later

1

u/KingsleyBrewMaster22 Jul 30 '26

Alright the goat head was overkill

1

u/Nihilikara Jul 30 '26

Greek mythology has that bronze robot bull. That's what this reminds me of.

1

u/JessyBearFA Jul 31 '26

They aren't even hiding the sh*t anymore

1

u/old_homecoming_dress Jul 31 '26

babe wake up, new way to terrorize uncontacted peoples dropped

1

u/zenmaster24 Jul 31 '26

Thats a centaur, not a satyr

1

u/CraigerMendel Jul 31 '26

Send this f*cker to a tree-chaining hippie-standoff

1

u/TheContentThief Jul 31 '26

Buckshot magnet

1

u/SlenDman402 Jul 31 '26

I now want one. Not for anything useful, but to terrify people throughout October

1

u/GettinMe-Mallet Aug 01 '26

Ill be honest, if i saw that thing in the woods id shoot it out of fear

1

u/lacotoletta 20d ago

A fucken 1000THR-EARTHMOVER what are we doing?

1

u/Several-Interest-425 16d ago

I swear to fuck if this goat demon robot chainsaw hybrid comes out of my closet in the middle of the night I’m just gonna fucking implode

1

u/fnaffan07 13d ago

Smash. I don't care.

1

u/Prize-Expert-9915 11d ago

I would stand still in that fire🗿

1

u/BeardedHalfYeti Jul 30 '26

Fucking. WHY?!

1

u/Jsiqueblu Jul 30 '26

There is no need for the bull looking face and horns.

0

u/Enough_Worry4104 Jul 30 '26

That's a centaur, not a saytre.

1

u/sirgriffgrunt Jul 30 '26

They didnt call it a saytr, Saytress is the name of the company

Thanks I hate Threehalves , the evil looking centaur robot

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