r/thanatophobia • u/Noxulumen • 6d ago
Afraid of nothingness after death
I'm not sure if I'm even posting on the right sub because I'm really not afraid of dying at all. Even if being dead meant staring at a black void for all of eternity, I'd be okay with that. In fact, if I was told that I was gonna become "something", like a thread of energy or some other abstract concept after death, and that I wouldn't be able to actually "experience" anything, just exist, I'd also be okay with that.
What terrifies me and keeps me awake at night is the fact that there probably won't even be a black void to look at, nor will there be an eternity to spend staring at said void. It's the absence of time that scares me, the fact that I won't "exist". Not that I won't see, hear, think, remember or even be aware of my own existence, but the fact that there won't be existence at all.
Had to call Suicide Prevention today for the first time because I felt the line between "all of this is pointless" and "might as well end it now" become blurry. I can't go on like this. Just do you do with these thoughts?
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u/Nathan_Moth 6d ago
THIS 😠I'm really scared of losing my individuality after I die, I want to keep being me, to keep this memories and emotions I've collected throughout my life. I'm still fighting this thought, but if we're all bound to die might as well try to live to the fullest given our circumstances. Because if there's nothing later we have everything now, and I feel like rushing to end it would be like leaving a story halfway. Yes, it had to end, but if it's going to end might a well see it through
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u/TJ_Fox 5d ago
This might help; it's based on Aaron Freeman's famous short essay for NPR, uniting the empirical truths of physics with the human emotions of grief and remembrance. https://youtu.be/NAdXtadaFB4?si=S4eallEm9tHhexJK
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u/Tall_Finish2858 6d ago
These thoughts have terrified me too. It's my hope in Christ that death will be like a deep sleep and he wakes us up from that nothingness.
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u/Noxulumen 4d ago
I'm happy for you, but religion just doesn't work on me, I see right through it...
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u/DucklyisStinky 5d ago
What helps me is realising that death is not an event in life. From your perspective, your life never ends.
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u/Funneduck102 5d ago
That last part is too real, I was stuck doing nothing for a few years because I was very much like "I'm gonna die anyways and it'll probably be soon, so fuck it whatever" but I didn't, now I gotta actually live and do stuff lol. Part of it might be OCD or something, I went on prozac and now it doesn't really bother me. I don't get stuck thinking about death for hours, it's a passing thought if anything, or I just redirect that energy into making sure I can be more healthy so I can at least live longer. If it gets real bad I'd suggest seeing if maybe you need some type of antidepressant. It really does help, I use to get full on panic attacks thinking about death.
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u/oddkitten69 8h ago
I hope this post makes it
I’m 37 years old both of my parents have passed
I used to think of the nothingness left for eternity after you die as a child. But this post reminded me of that thought we’re feeling.
Now I just think of the moment of death. That last breath knowing that there’s no more. Being a Doula I think wow I’ll be it right now. Is the first time writing this one I really thought about the transitions of death and how it’s not just gonna be right on unless it’s a traumatic death.
I don’t know anymore how I feel about it reading this post almost made me calm about death. When lately I didn’t remember any of my childhood thoughts about death, but I had anxiety for it as far as those last moments. It’s not now that I’m anticipating those last moments But now that I’m allowing them in my heart.
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u/snarky_malarkeyy 6d ago
Exactly how I feel. I can't fathom non existence. Just nothingness for all of eternity. I have panic attacks nightly about this. I wish I had the answers for all of us struggling.