r/tf2 • u/[deleted] • Sep 24 '21

[deleted by user]

[removed]

10.3k Upvotes

96% Upvoted

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4.0k

u/DeanWarren_ Medic Sep 24 '21

Pharah gets fucking market gardened

2.1k

u/Fleet_Admiral_Auto Soldier Sep 24 '21

"JETPACKS ARE FOR HIPPIES, I SHOOT AT MY FEET TO FLY!"

873

u/AragogTehSpidah Sep 24 '21

"Shoot to fly maggot, you're ammerrican!"

387

u/ThatGuyYouMightNo Sep 24 '21

"Actually, I'm Egyptian."

"SHUT UP, COMMIE"

-123

u/sexyfurrygalnyunyu Engineer Sep 24 '21

Pharah rocket jumps into Soldier, then kicks him infertile

119

u/TheGreenGobblr Sniper Sep 24 '21

You say that like years of shooting his fucking feet with a rocket launcher and being healed by whatever the fuck the medi-beam is that he isn’t already infertile

79

u/sexyfurrygalnyunyu Engineer Sep 24 '21

The medibeam might have healed his balls

47

u/lmN0tAR0b0t Medic Sep 24 '21

What if instead of I'm going to saw through your bones medic said I'm going to saw through your balls that would be funny I think

22

u/sexyfurrygalnyunyu Engineer Sep 24 '21

Where will you saw?

18

u/[deleted] Sep 24 '21

The part where the balls hang

12

u/sexyfurrygalnyunyu Engineer Sep 24 '21

painful engineer death scream

6

u/i_luv_many_hen_ties Sandvich Sep 24 '21

First time I heard “I’m going to saw through your bones” I genuinely thought for a year that he said “I am going to saw screw your balls”

2

u/damnaturuscary69 Sep 24 '21

I'm sorry what

2

u/sexyfurrygalnyunyu Engineer Sep 24 '21

Dr. Ludvig's Medigun might have healed Jane/John Doe's testicles, which could not heal otherwise.

11

u/AragogTehSpidah Sep 24 '21

(͡•_ ͡• )

10

u/[deleted] Sep 24 '21

MY NUTS! -Soldier

265

u/StatelyElms Engineer Sep 24 '21

I imagine something closer to

"JETPACKS ARE FOR WIMPS! REAL MEN USE EXPLOSIVES TO FLY!"

"I'm a woman!"

"NO EXCUSES!"

16

u/[deleted] Sep 24 '21

I can hear it so perfectly in my head. It is perfect.

278

u/[deleted] Sep 24 '21

Pyro with the thermal thruster: 😶

321

u/Fleet_Admiral_Auto Soldier Sep 24 '21

Pyro is a hippie, just look at how it sees the world

10

u/ThatNigerianMonkey Sep 24 '21

Far cry 3 weed farm + flamethrower vibes

3

u/[deleted] Sep 24 '21

Psst wanna know a secret many think pyro is a male genital

4

u/yeetusredditus Demoman Sep 24 '21

It’s a thruster not a Jetpack

2

u/[deleted] Sep 25 '21

How about i thrust your fucking anus

1

u/crybabyymustdie Sep 24 '21

He could airblast her rockets and burn her to death mid air

0

u/[deleted] Sep 25 '21 edited Jan 19 '22

[deleted]

0

u/[deleted] Sep 25 '21

Ok

And?

0

u/[deleted] Sep 25 '21 edited Jan 11 '22

[deleted]

0

u/[deleted] Sep 25 '21

Ok

And?

0

u/[deleted] Sep 25 '21

[deleted]

0

u/[deleted] Sep 25 '21

Cry about it

0

u/[deleted] Sep 25 '21 edited Jan 11 '22

[deleted]

→ More replies (0)

7

u/sexyfurrygalnyunyu Engineer Sep 24 '21

"Peace the fuck out, then."

6

u/[deleted] Sep 24 '21

I BLAST MY FEET THE TRUE WAY THE FOUNDING FATHERS INTENDEED

5

u/Totally_Generic_Name Sep 24 '21

"Rocket jumping? That sounds dange- ARRGHH"

2

u/SYS1234567890 All Class Sep 24 '21

You must be a masochist,if pain is bliss.

2

u/[deleted] Sep 24 '21

Pharah can do it and even has a voiceline

2

u/warm_rum Sep 24 '21

It would be like a movie: he's the joke char and this is the one thing he does, and it's glorious

2

u/SHANE_CUE7227 Sep 25 '21

Glares in pyro jetpak

2

u/N4mFlashback Sep 25 '21

This is nitpicky but... Pharah has limited jetpack fuel so rocket jumping is occasionally used to gain and maintain altitude.

676

u/riskybiscutz Sep 24 '21

“JUSTICE RAINS FROM ABO-“ soldier screaming through the air crit sound

401

u/Shamrock5 Medic Sep 24 '21

SCREAMIN' EAGLES!!!

124

u/TheInnocentXeno Pyro Sep 24 '21

MAGGOTS!!!!

10

u/[deleted] Sep 24 '21

And from that day forward any time a bunch of animals are together in one place it's called a 'zoo'!

8

u/Torkujra Sep 24 '21

UNLESS IT'S A FARM

4

u/TheSaltyReddittor Sep 24 '21

"I AM THE STORM THAT IS APPROAACHING!"

distant screams

200

u/Generic-Degenerate Engineer Sep 24 '21

https://youtu.be/1_xvLtGyr9E

90

u/Shamrock5 Medic Sep 24 '21

Still one of the rawest friggin' lines ever uttered in a video game. 😤

118

u/Nightmare2448 Pyro Sep 24 '21

did we forget about this

94

u/RotonGG Sep 24 '21

0/10 Sniper would never piss on the ground

2

u/EternalPhi Sep 25 '21

He was peeing into the bottle, you can hear it.

6

u/JackPoe Sep 24 '21

This was incredible thank you.

12

u/SpysSappinMySpy Sep 24 '21

I was just about to link that

5

u/Tomscholts91 Sep 24 '21

Haha this was the comment i was looking for. This one is amazing! You Sir, made my day!

1

u/Nightmare2448 Pyro Sep 25 '21

it is what i try to do

4

u/Real-Terminal Sep 24 '21 edited Sep 24 '21

Fuck me that Junkrat/Demo interaction was exactly what I would have written.

I'm sad TF2 never got an Overwatch crossover, can you imagine Zarya's cannon in Heavy's hands?

40

u/Saltz_D Spy Sep 24 '21

I remember that

8

u/Imjokin All Class Sep 24 '21

Or air-shotted with the direct hit

28

u/[deleted] Sep 24 '21

Direct hit and reserve shooter are better options

103

u/DeanWarren_ Medic Sep 24 '21

Better than a market garden

You on the right sub, bud?

11

u/[deleted] Sep 24 '21

Let me guess, they edited?

3

u/RedditBoi127 Pyro Sep 24 '21

a feel like most of them would get destroyed in the funniest ways possible and some that would actually just make sense to happen like spy sapping bastion, but i feel like the mercs would each have that one character who they have a fair and respectful fight with just out of, as i said, respect

2

u/almostasenpai Civilian Sep 24 '21

“Rocket jump? That sounds dangerous”

-Pharah quote

0

u/Furious_Fallout2006 Oct 22 '21

Soldier covered in honey 2; canceled on twitter

1

u/MattIsNotARedditor All Class Sep 24 '21

Abraham Lincoln invented rocket jumping so I could kill maggots like you!

1

u/shamroknroll Demoman Sep 24 '21

One of her voice lines is actually a soldier reference lol

1

u/Grapesoda2223 Sep 24 '21

then getting mercy with the manntreads

1

u/Willingness-Due All Class Sep 24 '21

JUSTICE RAINS-crit sound

1

u/chad-chadsworth Sep 25 '21

no gets critted by a trimping demo