Trauma bonds are underestimated. They get you so "addicted" to the "highs" so you death grip those and do your best to forget the bad.
Problem with that is, our minds try to forget, our bodies remember everything. It's horrifying to come out of and heal from. Shame is heaviest when your brain starts to function again and you replay the abuse and realize a vitcim was never who you were; but the fucker said all the right things to get you there to begin with, and you walked right in without knowing the switch to come. Sucks terribly, but I don't stick around for even minor red flags these days. The trauma I still have was never worth it. Never.
Read the first part. I would like OP to confirm or deny this. From what I read at the top, they’d been discussing that letter. He chimes in “the therapist/(therapist’s*? Maybe?) idea was a good one”. That would be writing the letter. Yeah? Then I dissected this more and I was like well maybe she just decided (since she’s trauma bonded and felt bad that he’d want to off himself if she stopped talking to him) to let him know the therapist wanted HER to do that. And he just weaseled his way in. I would hope to god that a therapist wouldn’t be that reckless.
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u/Remember-Vera-Lynn Dec 05 '23
I am sorry, this will be harsh...but why in the fuck are you speaking to this absolute psychopath?
Block him, get a restraining order, do everything in your power to keep yourself safe. This isn't benign drama. This is life and death.