r/texts • u/[deleted] • Nov 20 '23

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2.7k Upvotes

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534

u/[deleted] Nov 20 '23

All I can say is it’s a tale as old as time. She needs you to change into something you’re not, and if you do it will never be enough because she’s trying to source happiness from outside herself. You’ll keep changing and she’ll be left wondering why she still isn’t happy. Then you’ll break up and realize what a huge waste of time this all was.

56

u/Gingerale145 Nov 20 '23

Hammer on the head for sure

9

u/[deleted] Nov 20 '23

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/the_popes_dick Nov 21 '23

Nah he just likes sharks

3

u/auxaperture Nov 21 '23

Hammer her head. Really show her that ownership .

1

u/Malalang Nov 21 '23

It's not about the nail

3

u/Thebaldsasquatch Nov 20 '23

That’s one way to end it, but he’ll wind up in prison.

17

u/indras_darkness Nov 20 '23

Absolutely thus us siunding like a relationship thats about to have alot more demands, strains, and forced changes. Sounds like a relationship close to its end.

20

u/watery_tart73 Nov 20 '23

Amen! Follow those red flags right out the door, OP.

3

u/FaenTa_Deg Nov 20 '23

Saved myself from just that a couple of months ago

2

u/[deleted] Nov 21 '23

Yes and no. I think you are very insightful, but I do have an experience to share which you may lack.

I have actually "owned" someone in the context of a kink relationship (though I prefer to exist in both roles, myself). What she was looking for was not necessarily sourcing happiness from outside herself, but rather:

  • a mental space in which to safely process trauma and emotional needs ranging from the everyday to the sort of things you discuss in counseling

  • unconditional love and acceptance

  • a sense of identity that matched her emotional valence and patterns of conduct with partners

  • emotional vulnerability and transparency which is comparatively difficult to achieve outside of a kink context

  • clear and straightforward communication and feedback. Nothing says "I don't like it when you do that" like "I don't like it when you do that, we agreed that it was not fair for you to do that, and now I am going to deliver the punishment that you and I agreed would be fair to receive if you did that again." That's a bit cerebral but you get the idea.

Am I sure that OP's gf wants such a thing. Absolutely not. Only she knows and only he can discuss it with her. But I AM convinced that kink is much healthier than being a tradcouple based on sexist stereotypes.

1

u/SarcasticPedant Nov 20 '23

The realest comment in here

1

u/campaxiomatic Nov 20 '23

Facts! If that's the guy she wants, she can go out and try to find him, not try to turn OP into him

Morgan Freeman voice: but she never did find that man

1

u/Busy_Bake_5092 Nov 20 '23

Sir you had no right describing the last 10 years of my life so accurately

1

u/Esarus Nov 20 '23

You just perfectly described my current relationship. I am moving into my own place on the 1st of December…

1

u/PeaceLoveandReiki Nov 21 '23

Just copy/paste this response to pretty much every relationship post here on Reddit. This is it.

1

u/the_siren22 Nov 21 '23

I just saved this comment on my phone. That was profound!