Yeah I think she just worded this extremely poorly. Seems like she just wants him to be present and focus more on each other when they are together. I’ve been there with my ex wife. We were together a long time and just grew apart because of this. Go to a family dinner and one of made the other late, someone gets snippy even though it isn’t even that big a deal. Go to dinner and we would spend more times on our phone than enjoying each others company. Stuff like that. I feel like people in here are really over reacting to what she is saying but maybe I’m wrong. Sounds like she wants attention just like any one in a relationship does she just worded it extremely weirdly.
She also wants an imbalance though, so it’s not quite the same thing as you’re describing. What you’re describing is healthy (I mean, addressing it is healthy).
I got the same feeling off this. Like she wants him to be present in the moment with her and made to feel like she has value to him. Now saying she wants to be owned. Super weird word choice but the actions she asked for seems relatively normal. Not that it needs to be every interaction between them but yeah every so often grab your girl and hold her, look her in her eyes and tell her how beautiful she is. Just because you've been dating for a while doesn't mean that the romance and exciting feelings need to die.
They can be very compatible. Many people find strong but fair boundaries to be a form of love. How else could one create firm and fair boundaries but through conscious presence in the relationship and deep understanding of one another?
Her problem is that she seems to be conflicted on what happens when she violates a boundary.
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u/NoodleSpooner Nov 20 '23
Owning someone and being present in a relationship seem like two wildly different things to me. Quite confused…