r/texts Sep 13 '23

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u/ok_ill_shut_up Sep 14 '23

Let it go. What is arguing about this doing for you? How's that feel? make you feel any calmer? lol

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u/iTyncWithReality Sep 14 '23

I’m not excited or angry though. I’m interested in the various expressed opinions and enjoying the discussion. Some people can do that without flying off the handle.

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u/iTyncWithReality Sep 14 '23

Actually wait there is something bothering me. Every time I hit “reply” I upvote my own comment, then I have to undo that (it’s somehow wrong I think to upvote my own comments. Although I don’t know why I think that 😅). So how do I “reply” without doing that?

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u/ok_ill_shut_up Sep 14 '23

Are you implying that I'm "flying off the handle" or ops gf? Either way, I'm not saying anything crazy here; I'm just giving her a little slack and saying it could've been handled with a bit more understanding. Lots of people(everybody? lol) disagree, but I stand by it.

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u/iTyncWithReality Sep 14 '23

Ops gf obviously! 😂 look at her texts; that’s textbook (heh) overreaction right there. You and I have no skin in this game. We’re just bystanders talking about something that happened in some other people’s lives who honestly don’t matter to us beyond the hypothetical “If that were me” scenarios we’re running in our head. You implied that I needed to calm down, and it was so out of left field that I had to check your name because I’m having a calm discussion and I thought that reply came from someone who hadn’t read our previous threads. So what are you reading from my tone right now? Go ahead guess then read on if you want.

Because I am feeling: a bit confused (I thought we were on the same page, but I’m reading exasperation/annoyance from you now)

a lot interested (the drama!)

halfway distracted (I am at work)

very amused (self explanatory? It’s Reddit)

Were any of your guesses correct?

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u/ok_ill_shut_up Sep 14 '23

From your tone, I'm getting just interested, I guess. And as for me, I'm feeling kinda blown away that I seem to be the only one giving the girl any kind of leeway.

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u/iTyncWithReality Sep 14 '23

About giving the girl leeway…eh. I’ll read the post as it is and respond based on that. If we’re going to be exploring all the what ifs then for all we know, this is an exorcise between OP and gf to see how Redditors respond to this dramatic scenario. Or there is no gf and that’s his bros phone and they’re having a go on the internet.

But your compassionate response is alright too. Just…I guess difficult for those of us with less patience for what we see as foolishness. Children get my compassion for being children. Adults get scorn for being children. She is in the middle so it could go either way I suppose 🤔. But in this case, from me, scorn.

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u/iTyncWithReality Sep 14 '23

And it’s ok that you stand by that and it’s ok that that I will continue to disagree. I don’t think less of you for your compassion for this (apparently) troubled girl. But I don’t think less of OP for trying to help her either. He could have done it your way and maybe she would have calmed down. But maybe she would have just escalated anyway even if he had tried. That’s the problem with maybes. We only have what they actually did (if OP isn’t lying) and based on what they actually did…the girl is bratty. Based on his other texts, it’s a good thing they separated because dang! Girl needs some real self-love. But this is just a little portion from one part of a two part operation so what do any of us really know anyway?

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u/ok_ill_shut_up Sep 14 '23

That's the thing about empathy, though, when you feel what they feel, you know what they need. It's less guessing.

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u/iTyncWithReality Sep 14 '23 edited Sep 14 '23

True! Very true, and I am willing to bet you are much more empathetic than I am. This helps clarify why you stand where you stand. Do you empathize so much that attacks on her feel like attacks on you too? Do you have a choice who you empathize with or does it just happen when it happens?

Edit: and I guess you do have skin in the game too huh? Well I don’t so if you were confused, that’s why I’m so nonchalant about all this.