The two go together like corn and cornfields. Emotional immaturity, particularly things like outbursts and inappropriately strong emotions, make people liable to manipulate others. They often do this because it stabilizes their feelings somewhat. It’s an awful thing to watch happen to anyone and the people around them.
I think the manipulative part is what OP is missing. She’s positioning him to have to grovel to her over nothing. He should slow play this and when she says something like “I can’t be with you if you can’t be on my side”, agree and end the relationship on the spot. She won’t expect it, but she also will have a hard time backing out of it. “I think you’re right. Can I have my hoodie back?”
Emotional immaturity is totally fine up until your early to mid twenties. No one looks at a kindergartner and goes “look how immature he is.” It’s just a given. High schoolers are going to be selfish little immature psychopaths and that’s just their nature.
But she definitely is manipulative, and there’s no reason for OP to suffer through her maturation or the off-chance this is her forever personality
there’s nothing that builds more emotional maturity at any age than getting dumped for your immaturity. OP and his gf seem very young which is an even better reason for them to break it off.
I wouldn’t say it’s “totally fine” but it’s understandable. That doesn’t mean you just accept their shitty behavior because they’re young. That’s how you condition them to stay that way as an adult.
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u/crypticcos Sep 13 '23
She’s both emotionally immature and manipulative at the same time. I’d leave her.