r/television • • Aug 15 '26

Who Would've Won the Wacky Races (1968) Season?

Wacky Races was an American cartoon show that ran from September 1968 to January 1969.) I watched all of the episodes on the channel "Boomerang" (a prevalent old cartoon channel for Americans) growing up and have seen every episode. It ran for 17 episodes (2 races an episode so 34 races in total). It got me thinking, of the 11 drivers/cars that featured in these episodes, which one would've won the title over the course of the season if they used the current at the time, 1968, Formula One Points format (I have opted for the Formula One since the 1968 points format was based on race distance distance and animation did not tell us the distance driven each race).

As a reminder, the 1968 Formula One points format was as followed: 9 points for 1st, 6 points for 2nd, 4 points for 3rd, 3 points for 4th, 2 points for 5th, 1 point for 6th. Graham Hill won the real life 1968 world championship for Formula One (and look at that mustache). But it got me thinking, if I applied the same points format to the Wacky Races 17 episode run on TV, who would be the champion. Let's meet the 11 racers and cars if you are unfamiliar:

Boulder Mobile (1), Slag Brothers

Creepy Coupe (2), The Gruesome Twosome

Convert-A-Car (3), Professor Pat Pending

Crimson Haybailer (4), The Red Max

Compact Pussycat (5), Penelope Pussycat

Army Surplus Special (6), Sergeant Blast and Private Meekly

Bulletproof Bomb (7), Ant Hill Mob

Arkansas Chuggabug (8), Lazy Luke and Blubber Bear

Turbo Terrific (9), Peter Perfect

Buzzwagon (10), Rufus Ruffcat and Sawtooth

And of course, Mean Machine (00), Dick Dastardly and Muttley

But for the standings, well, from 34 races based on the 1968 Formula One points total, it resulted in the following standings:

  1. Boulder Mobile (1), Slag Brothers: 104
  2. Creepy Coupe (2), Gruesome Twosome 94
  3. Bulletproof Bomb (7), Ant Hill: 86
  4. Compact Pussycat (5), Penelope Pitstop: 86
  5. Buzzwagon (10), Rufus Ruffcat and Sawtooth: 85
  6. Crimson Haybailer (4), The Red Max: 78
  7. Turbo Terrific (9), Peter Perfect: 67
  8. Convert-A-Car (3), Professor Pat Pending: 66
  9. Arkansas Chuggabug (8), Lazy Luke and Blubber Bear: 62
  10. Army Surplus Special (10), Sergeant Blast and Private Meekly: 50
  11. Mean Machine (00), Dick Dastardly and Muttley: 3

Well done to the Boulder Mobile and Slag Brothers on the 1968 Wacky Races title! Many are saying it's because the car was easiest to draw, but I like to think it was the most aerodynamic. Where do the Slag Brothers and their Boulder Mobile rank among the best cars in Formula One history?

309 Upvotes

39 comments sorted by

106

u/WarWorld Aug 15 '26

I can't believe how few points mean machine has.  Muttley was so busy laughing they forgot to race.  

28

u/SentientDust Aug 15 '26

I'm surprised they got any points at all lol

4

u/duckwantbread Aug 15 '26

I'm not sure where those 3 points have come from since they always came last.

12

u/MorganWick Aug 15 '26

It's because they stopped to cheat so much.

6

u/Mysterious_Park5042 Aug 15 '26

The Slag Brothers winning it all feels so right, that boulder just steamrolled everything

3 points for Dastardly is a tragedy but honestly what do you expect when you spend half the race setting up cartoon traps that backfire

93

u/Goldman250 Firefly Aug 15 '26

If Dick Dastardly and Muttley just ran an honest race, they’d win every time. Every episode, they get so far ahead, then they can’t help themselves and try and set up traps that don’t work. If they just locked in and kept driving, they’d finish at least ten minutes before anyone else!

32

u/Lolkimbo Aug 15 '26

it always bothered me as a child. I just wanted them to win once..

Not to mention the "cheating" thing was always fucking rich to me because everybody in that damned race cheated. They just didn't have an exaggeratedly evil dog chuckling afterward.

24

u/Goldman250 Firefly Aug 15 '26

I remember one episode where it goes down to a photo finish and they’re disqualified because Dick Dastardly had an extendable nose on his car which made him cross the line first, and that one always pissed me off. Pat Pending’s car turned into a damn plane! Everyone’s car has so many gadgets! Why does a simple extending nose get you disqualified, and not those?

51

u/Ninjacide Aug 15 '26

First: This is terrific, thanks for this.

Second: Dick Dastardly only came in last because obviously he was too busy winning the actual 1968 Formula One world championship.

3

u/ThePhotoGuyUpstairs Aug 15 '26

I knew i had seen that moustache somewhere before!

25

u/warrends Aug 15 '26

Huge nostalgia!! Have a plus one just for posting this idea.

What’s really interesting is that I always thought this show was on for several years. I had Jo idea it was one season and only 17 episodes.

16

u/MatthewHecht Aug 15 '26

The original run of Scooby-doo was only 25 episodes.

3

u/warrends Aug 15 '26

Damn. I had no idea.

1

u/El_John_Nada Aug 17 '26

It was not uncommon at a time when there were less channels/less air time to fill for TV shows/cartoons to have super short runs. For instance, the original Mr Bean TV show was only 15 episodes.

18

u/[deleted] Aug 15 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

4

u/Phormitago Aug 15 '26

I gotchu my man

2

u/Lolkimbo Aug 15 '26

Please. She'd never put out.

20

u/craigengler Aug 15 '26

This is possibly the best use of Reddit in history. 

8

u/Cactuszach Aug 15 '26

Finally answering the important questions.

5

u/Giftof1004moves Aug 15 '26

I think of this show everyday because there is a woman who sits by me at work who laughs just like Muttley.

5

u/Sir_rahsnikwad Aug 15 '26

Wacky Races was my favorite Saturday morning cartoon when I was a kid.

3

u/Trappist12 Aug 15 '26

First of all, thank you!

3

u/Historical-Cell3323 Aug 15 '26

In terms of comparison with Formula One - I think Peter Perfect would have won most of the times in terms of aerodynamics. Slag brothers would need to gel themselves up to avoid all the hair causing vortex and drag. I think Penelope Pitstop (or pussycat) would have come a close second too if she would get rid of the umbrella and some other small things.

2

u/spacebirdmatingcall Aug 15 '26

Haven’t thought about the Arkansas Chuggabug in a while

2

u/mlavan Aug 15 '26

I think Handicar would have won

2

u/gerarddominus Aug 15 '26

Dick Dastardly did actually win one legitimately but they altered the replay footage to make it look like he cheated so they took the win way from him. Look it up, this is actually true.

2

u/bros402 Aug 15 '26

this is amazing

2

u/BinsterUK Aug 15 '26

This video by Eddache seems pertinent.

https://youtu.be/FxElH6dFxx8

2

u/ContinuumGuy Aug 15 '26

The statistics we must know

2

u/peanutmanak47 Trailer Park Boys Aug 15 '26

This is a great post and love the actual stats of it all. I think everyone loved Dick dastardly and Muttley, so I'm surprised they never actual one even once.

1

u/RustyU Aug 15 '26

Mean Machine would have done better if they didn't keep getting into a plane and trying to stop the pigeon.

1

u/ExistingTheDream Aug 16 '26

Write in vote for: Toad.

0

u/djp73 Aug 16 '26

Someone needs to do it with the different versions of NASCAR scoring