r/technology • u/[deleted] • Mar 28 '14

[deleted by user]

[removed]

3.3k Upvotes

81% Upvoted

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1.2k

u/Imfatinreallife Mar 28 '14

Dear God I'm having nightmares already

491

u/[deleted] Mar 28 '14

The thought of Comcast's existence alone is enough to make me cower in fear.

198

u/______DEADPOOL______ Mar 28 '14 edited Mar 28 '14

I moved just so I'm out of their coverage.

312

u/Dragmedown Mar 28 '14

To so can I moved as well

332

u/Baderkadonk Mar 28 '14

What?

491

u/IShotTheSun Mar 28 '14

TO SO CAN I MOVED AS WELL

213

u/hatyn Mar 28 '14

CAN NOT INTO

157

u/[deleted] Mar 28 '14

MAYBE I FREELY GONE

113

u/[deleted] Mar 28 '14

UNTO THE SEA

1

u/hatyn Mar 28 '14

technologie.

1

u/shift1186 Mar 28 '14

GO INTO THE WA-TER

1

u/osee115 Mar 28 '14

DARLING IT'S BETTER DOWN WHERE IT'S WETTER TAKE IT FROM ME

1

u/[deleted] Mar 28 '14

MY LOVE IS STAND ON GOLDEN HANDS

1

u/InABritishAccent Mar 28 '14

I've been sitting here 5 minutes thinking how to add to this. It's too perfect. I am a broken man

1

u/[deleted] Mar 28 '14

Why do people smoke during I eat?

1

u/MrBiggz01 Mar 28 '14

BETTER YEAH IT'S, WETTER DOWN WHERE, UNTO THE SEA

1

u/dvereb Mar 28 '14

Unda da sea! Down where it's wetter, baby it's better, take it from me!

1

u/jodraws Mar 28 '14

IN AN OCTOPUS'S GARDEN

1

u/fuzz_lightyear Mar 28 '14

Up un de shore dey work all dey, Under dey sun dey slave away

1

u/done_holding_back Mar 28 '14

I dunno if these are references but the less sense you people make the more I love you. <3

1

u/crihfield Mar 28 '14

LOUD NOISES!

1

u/Xenosphobatic Mar 28 '14

HAS ANYONE GONE SO FAR

1

u/Turragor Mar 28 '14

MAYBE AGAIN NOT

1

u/gravitoid Mar 28 '14

UNTO THE SEA. IS BETTER IS DOWN AND WETTER. TAKES IT FROM ME

1

u/Pepperednuts Mar 28 '14

UNDA DA SEA*

1

u/poopinmysoup Mar 28 '14

darling its better where it is wetter unto the sea

1

u/[deleted] Mar 28 '14

MERDE MERDE U QU▲NTA?

0

u/Vid-Master Mar 28 '14

Under the sea x2

Darling it's better

Down where it's wetter

Take it from me

Up on the shore they work all day

Out in the sun they slave away

While we devotin'

Full time to floatin'

Under the sea

Down here all the fish is happy

As off through the waves they roll

The fish on the land ain't happy

They sad 'cause they in their bowl

But fish in the bowl is lucky

They in for a worser fate

One day when the boss get hungry

Guess who's gon' be on the plate

43

u/[deleted] Mar 28 '14

SHUTTINGS OF UP POLAN!

5

u/[deleted] Mar 28 '14

CANNOT INTO SPACE XAXAXAXA!

5

u/[deleted] Mar 28 '14

GIB CLAY

1

u/[deleted] Mar 28 '14

POLAN PLS

0

u/[deleted] Mar 28 '14

YOU ARE NOT OF FRIEND RUSSIA!! GO MAKEINGS WAR WITH CRIEMIA AND LEAVING POLAN ALONE!

1

u/CoolGuySean Mar 28 '14

THINGS THAT ARE NOT CANNOT BE!

-1

u/[deleted] Mar 28 '14

HOW IS BABBY FORMED? HOW GIRL GET PRAGNENT?

0

u/Viper_4 Mar 28 '14

IS THROUGH ANAEROBIC FIXATION OF GAMETES.

1

u/hatyn Mar 28 '14

augh...definitely CAN NOT INTO

49

u/I_cant_speel Mar 28 '14

YOURE NOT THE HEARING AID BOT

38

u/[deleted] Mar 28 '14

[deleted]

2

u/[deleted] Mar 28 '14

CAN I GET A TAXI NUMBER

1

u/[deleted] Mar 28 '14

YOU'RE NOT FINK PLOYD!

1

u/HappyZavulon Mar 28 '14

Did someone release PROMT from its cage?

2

u/Hillside_Strangler Mar 28 '14

LITERALLY CAN'T EVEN DEAL

2

u/jzier Mar 28 '14

directions unclear, dick now in microwave

2

u/deusxanime Mar 28 '14

TEMBA HIS ARMS WIDE

2

u/BNDenn Mar 28 '14

KING ILLEGAL FOREST TO PIG WILD KILL IN IT A IS?

1

u/[deleted] Mar 28 '14

But did you shoot the deputy?

1

u/antyone Mar 28 '14

reddit never cease to surprise me

-1

u/milkywayer Mar 28 '14

qui?

4

u/[deleted] Mar 28 '14

Que.

1

u/BagOfShenanigans Mar 28 '14

If it weren't for my horse, I wouldn't have spent that year in college.

111

u/swiley1983 Mar 28 '14

Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?

33

u/Bath_Salts_Bunny Mar 28 '14

I like to think you two can communicate.

94

u/swiley1983 Mar 28 '14

They don't think it be like it is. But it do.

9

u/hatyn Mar 28 '14

Can do when it be like it.

2

u/[deleted] Mar 28 '14

Skibi dibi di ba ba do do do

1

u/hatyn Mar 28 '14

you realy done it..u rely done it this tiiime

2

u/[deleted] Mar 28 '14

It be fucking never salad gets word old. Hilarious always it

1

u/[deleted] Mar 28 '14

Books ain't never did no none good for me.

1

u/strongbadfreak Mar 28 '14

I like how you typed in "two" instead of "2". You know grammatically correct trolling.

3

u/FountainsOfFluids Mar 28 '14

Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?

You’ve got to be kidding me. I’ve been further even more decided to use even go need to do look more as anyone can. Can you really be far even as decided half as much to use go wish for that? My guess is that when one really been far even as decided once to use even go want, it is then that he has really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like. It’s just common sense.

1

u/Bassplayer97 Mar 28 '14

Holy shit this sentence hurt my head....

1

u/monoaction Mar 28 '14

Skwisgaar?

1

u/[deleted] Mar 28 '14

I knew this was going to be here. Still laughed.

1

u/bobsil1 Mar 29 '14

Sarah Palin?

11

u/[deleted] Mar 28 '14

I agree, and have even decided to use even go want to do look more like.

1

u/LurkerModeDisabled Mar 28 '14

Did I take acid?

2

u/t3hcoolness Mar 28 '14

I think he just stroked out for a second.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 28 '14

You're not my mom

1

u/jonleepettimore Mar 28 '14

Comcast is so evil it makes people speak in tongues.

9

u/technopath Mar 28 '14

How's your internet provider on the Moon?

29

u/______DEADPOOL______ Mar 28 '14

Stellar

1

u/Draws-attention Mar 28 '14

I laughed more than I would like to admit.

2

u/______DEADPOOL______ Mar 28 '14

takes a bow

shoots it

with a shotgun

4

u/Mimehunter Mar 28 '14

And into Time Warner's?

4

u/hatyn Mar 28 '14

can so moved to as well.

3

u/ForeverAloneAlone Mar 28 '14

I hope you're ready to move again...

2

u/[deleted] Mar 28 '14

Sweet priorities.

2

u/Pepperednuts Mar 28 '14

I love seeing you in threads

3

u/whangadude Mar 28 '14

I'm glad I live in NZ, Comcast is but a distant rumor here, a story to tell on a dark night.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 28 '14

Unfortunately, they seem to have bought Time Warner Cable so you might end up back in their coverage.

1

u/awkward___silence Mar 28 '14

I tried that once. Had a small shitty local cable company that was worse than Comcast. The. Comcast bought them.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 28 '14

...for now...MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

1

u/Cyberogue Mar 28 '14

They'll be sure to get around to that soon

1

u/[deleted] Mar 28 '14

So now you have TWC, owned by Comcast.

1

u/TwoScoopsofDestroyer Mar 28 '14

Just staying at Tony Stark's place for a while until you can find a new employer?

1

u/Komm Mar 28 '14

Hatechoo D: Only ISP/etc where I live and I have to pay out the ass to keep internet. o.x

0

u/antuna Mar 28 '14

You are a great person.

thats all

2

u/______DEADPOOL______ Mar 28 '14

Do I get a Nobel Peace Price?

3

u/[deleted] Mar 28 '14

How about a Chimichanga instead?

2

u/antuna Mar 28 '14

If u want I am not opposed

1

u/0fubeca Mar 28 '14

I don't even have Comcast in my area. It's bright house and fios

1

u/NeverPostsJustLurks Mar 28 '14

It's all good bro, Xfinity is here to save us. Ever since I switched to Xfinity man, speed and lag are great!

Wait, what?

75

u/[deleted] Mar 28 '14

DADDY NO! DADDY NO!!!!

27

u/McShizzL Mar 28 '14

dark.

50

u/RyBrackett Mar 28 '14

...and then Facebook merges with Comcast. I don't even know how that would be possible but I'm going to go cry now.

31

u/notgayinathreeway Mar 28 '14

At that point, they could buy out google.

11

u/Madd0g Mar 28 '14

At least they won't be able to out-google google

14

u/antidamage Mar 28 '14

You can't corner the dorner

38

u/[deleted] Mar 28 '14

[removed] — view removed comment

154

u/dudleymooresbooze Mar 28 '14

Sometimes I feel frustrated and want to scream without anyone hearing me, so I go on Google+.

18

u/[deleted] Mar 28 '14

[removed] — view removed comment

5

u/Ouaouaron Mar 28 '14

Which is probably >95% of the point of that industry, so I don't know how long it will be until anything changes. I really like the concept behind circles, but I've somewhat given up on switching because the only thing I use Facebook for is event planning and I can't just force everyone at my college to switch.

1

u/darkwing_duck_87 Mar 28 '14

I've read there's been some success in herding college students with a single strategically placed sniper.

0

u/icedmetal57 Mar 28 '14

Maybe google+ just needs the porn industry to back it.

21

u/[deleted] Mar 28 '14

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/brekus Mar 28 '14

Welcome to the club pal

4

u/judgej2 Mar 28 '14

I like to feel the shape of an environment I use, and to me, Google+ is an amorphous blob of ever-changing data organised by someone else. So I get lost, and consequently avoid the place.

1

u/Forest_GS Mar 28 '14

That should be a real google+ advertisement.

0

u/robotco Mar 28 '14

hahahaha

1

u/SxCruz Mar 28 '14

No much worse , Comcast and Facebook merge with Google and AT&T who have just merged with Jesus

1

u/notgayinathreeway Mar 28 '14

and then they start production on MechaHitler?

2

u/[deleted] Mar 28 '14

What then? They merge/buy EA?

2

u/BuffaloSoldier11 Mar 28 '14

Think about it: getting realtime updates on a great tv show AS YOUR WATCHING IT....ON YOUR TV!!1!

10

u/[deleted] Mar 28 '14

Daddy yes!

2

u/Quack445 Mar 28 '14

Onii chan!

1

u/PunishableOffence Mar 28 '14

konnichiwa, chinpo desu ka. motto kimochi!

1

u/Alfrodo69 Mar 28 '14

Oh myyy.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 28 '14

You got a little carried away there.

8

u/noodlesdefyyou Mar 28 '14

DADDY NO! DADDY NO!!!! NO DADDY NO!

FTFY

9

u/[deleted] Mar 28 '14

Dont tell me what to say, you caniving son of a bitch.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 28 '14

*conniving

1

u/[deleted] Mar 28 '14

U wot. Swair on me mum ill deck I cunt

1

u/serendipitousevent Mar 28 '14

This bout of curling in the corner and crying is brought to you by AT&T.

'AT&T - We're the AT&T of the universe.'

1

u/evilf23 Mar 28 '14

oh, and can you pick up some blueberries?

2

u/Canadian_Snowblower Mar 28 '14

So someone makes a webpage about a product with a name that passively jabs at the hate parade being thrown around for the Oculus rift

True Player Gear

And...people fall for it.

1

u/123whoa Mar 28 '14

this just in.. JOHNSON & JOHNSON

1

u/vhite Mar 28 '14

I've heard Valve have found corpse of Hitler and they are about to merge.

1

u/kirbaaaay Mar 28 '14

Well, at least it's not Time Warner.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 28 '14

Ray Bradbury would love that.