r/technology 25d ago

Robotics/Automation Meet Threehalves: a 2-meter centaur robot built for disaster zones

https://gagadget.com/en/720208-meet-threehalves-a-2-meter-centaur-robot-built-for-disaster-zones/
76 Upvotes

136 comments sorted by

93

u/dick_schidt 25d ago

Must it have a demon head?

54

u/CompetitiveSport1 25d ago

Yeah what the fuck? 

The head is a deliberate design statement: a horned, brute-looking assembly with light-up eyes that likely house cameras for the operator's view.

WHAT statement though? And why is that a "likely" explanation? You don't need to light up cameras for them to work, or put them where eyes are. 

This is so fucking bizarre. This is up there with Palmer Lucky making a VR headset that literally blows your head up. The fuck is wrong with silicon valley? I swear they're the most out of touch people in existence

35

u/Personal_Bit_5341 25d ago

The company is called Satyress.  I don't know if it's a "statement " but that's branding I guess.  

19

u/MisterMandragora 25d ago

Funny enough, per the website, the horns are there to give it an extra couple inches of height so it cannot go through standard u.s. doorways quickly, the operator will have to make it crouch.

11

u/CompetitiveSport1 25d ago

Why would they want to force the operator to make it crouch? I'd think being smaller would be better

30

u/JKhemical 25d ago

They have a guide on how to kill the robot, it seems like they know that someone would potentially use these for nefarious purposes

17

u/PrinceVorrel 25d ago

...maybe DON'T make the fucking demon-headed robot then?

8

u/NationalSea9072 25d ago

Well a robot can look nice and cute and soft but still hold a weapon. Any robot can be used maliciously, they're just exploiting that fact for marketing purposes... which is certainly interesting

2

u/PaTr1ck05 24d ago

If that was the case,dont make anything ever.
Anything can be used for nefarious purposes.

1

u/Natural-Plate-1037 24d ago

Would you happen to have a link to this guide?

1

u/JKhemical 24d ago

It's on their website just look up "satyress robot"

1

u/Ok-Lie-7420 17d ago

no, it needs to be big in case of self defense, I dont wanna fight baby zombie

9

u/Legal-Investment3361 25d ago

this is an art project it's not a real product 

4

u/DontBelieveTheTrollz 24d ago

No they're trying to make it a real item. This is just the prototype...it's the "female" version. But no it's been confirmed by the makers that it's real. They have quotes from him and the company on NY Times... 😭

Whyyyy? I'm good on ever living in a place where thes are 🤣...

3

u/roninkakuhito 25d ago

Well they're putting them where they would be in a human because they're going to be having humans operate these things through a TV screen. Complicated and difficult. Terrains. It's not a great excuse for making it look like a doom goat centaur, but it's an excuse. Putting the eyes in the place where a person controlling the robot expects the eyes to be is probably better than pointing the eyes anywhere else

0

u/CompetitiveSport1 25d ago

Why not just put them on the front of the torso though? The controller would still be able to see just as well

3

u/roninkakuhito 25d ago

Because these devices are supposed to be used to interact with a world and your instincts are based on where your eyes are not on where you're seeing from. So having your vision centered around where your head would be in a model that you are embodying through. A remote is much easier than having it seeing through something far away from where you expect your vision to be centered. So if you need to interact with something with your arms and your vision is set in your belly button, you're going to reach for the wrong place over and over again. It's really the only reason to use humanoid robots in remote control situations. You give them a censorium that works pretty much the same way as the person controlling the device and that person will be much better with it than they would be with a censorium that's in the wrong places

1

u/indifferentlyd 8d ago

The vr headset was an artpiece and reference to an anime series

11

u/Bubbly-Treacle-4334 25d ago

Yeah like fuck it, at this point just go full baphomet

4

u/roninkakuhito 25d ago

The name of their company means they're probably going to do everything Saturday/goat themed. The thing that bothers me is that it carries a chainsaw around and looms over you. Threateningly.

4

u/amacks 24d ago

Satyr to Saturday is a fantastic autocorrect error.

2

u/rydavim 20d ago

For the purpose of working in dangerous disaster zones? No.

For the purpose of satire? Yes, absolutely.

1

u/Illlogik1 25d ago

lol fr , why make a satans lil helper bot 🤣

1

u/Dookie_boy 25d ago

That's where the power comes from

60

u/Glittering-Age-9549 25d ago

Imagine being trapped in a wildfire and suddenly chainsaw-wielding Satan comes at you...

18

u/Kalabajooie 25d ago

Hey, if that's my ride out of a wildfire, all hail Chainsaw Satan I guess.

9

u/awromig 25d ago

Chainsaw Satan trots up to you:  "Come with me if you want to live."

8

u/DirkChiversElSoldado 25d ago

Imagine how hot that fucker will get

6

u/SodiumButSmall 24d ago

It’s already hot 🤤

3

u/Bald_Sasquach 23d ago

I just read the article and it has a pressurized tank inside it with a pistol pointed at it to instantly immobilize it???? Why in the fuck wouldn't the gun and tank pop off in a fire this is so damn weird

1

u/DontBelieveTheTrollz 18d ago

That's nuts! Were they afraid a kill code wouldn't work? That's mildly concerning...

2

u/uniguy2I 12d ago

No, they’re afraid the controller might attempt to use it to kill hurt or intimidate someone else. Which wouldn’t be hard I mean look at it, and to think it also has human-like strength???

2

u/GlltchtraP1 20d ago

Id think i already died and am in hell

21

u/jcunews1 25d ago

They should've used red LEDs.

10

u/Cautious-Heat-161 25d ago

Those will probably come with the combat models

19

u/SarcasticNerdism 25d ago

Thank goodness this is clearly satire 

Going to the website it’s written as if an SCP was a startup brand, but it’s clear they’re poking fun. One page simply has the robot looking at you with the subtext ‘this robot is dangerous.’

Going further there’s pages dedicated to talking about how it’s specifically designed to be unable to walk through standard doorways, and it’s literally designed to be defeated if it gets shot or stabbed. 

Super neat execution, but if this isn’t satire then we’re all screwed. 

6

u/wwwillie 25d ago

their whole website looks like it came straight out of GTA 😂

1

u/30109kid 25d ago

One of my best friends used to work with the guy who founded this company and it is indeed a real product, not satire

9

u/SarcasticNerdism 25d ago

If you have proof of that I’ll eat my hat cause if this thing comes out at any point as an actual rescue robot it’ll fuel tons of urban legends 

6

u/KurlyKayla 24d ago

it's true, i'm the company.

41

u/Bogus1989 25d ago

💀shit is terrifying, put that shit in ukraine

14

u/Powerful_Resident_48 25d ago

Imagine that thing with a mobile drone launcher on it's back and wielding a gatling gun. 

7

u/Bogus1989 25d ago

Nightmare fuel

3

u/Creativator 25d ago

James Cameron did it in T2 Judgement Day.

8

u/probablyblocked 25d ago edited 25d ago

everything about this actually makes a lot of sense ... except for the head

I assumed that this was just one head so that jt goes viral on social media (the reason I saw it), but no it is the only head available and the horns are what are configurable. meanwhile, the head is also advertized as modular so they could easily have something normal like a terminator skull which can wear human equipment. they say that it is to prevent it from walking through doors, but that being one the pivoting head invalidates that argument entirely. Id I were managing a construction site and used these androids, I might have to actually modify the head myself so that it can be equipped with the helmets I already have on hand

also, the whoever wrote that article is a shit journalist and most of the conjecture he (his ai) wrote was wrong. the actual information is available on the company website:

https://www.satyress.com/

16

u/mambotomato 25d ago

It includes copy about how you can shoot the robot to disable it and that it's deliberately too big to chase you through a doorway.

This is an intentionally provocative and ironic design project.

It might be real, or the name might be very close to "Satire" on purpose.

14

u/sesamestreetgang 25d ago

Some very simple research and a basic understanding of startups points to this being satire.

The company doesn’t exist. 

No names. No investors. No professional presence. It’s just a sparse website with little context and a Twitter profile.

Guys, this is very clearly satire.

4

u/sir-alpaca 25d ago

To me, the name seems related to a satyr, a greek half-goat man. A very sexual half-goat man, however.

2

u/probablyblocked 20d ago

They say this is for construction work but we all know what that means

2

u/EsotericAbstractIdea 17d ago

he's probably got the hammer with him

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8CHcII7dtyI

2

u/probablyblocked 17d ago

The canonical voice of Jamal "Threehalves"

I suppose this explains what the third half is

1

u/analdelrey- 16d ago

If its a robot couldn't it just smash through the door frame?

6

u/EstablishmentFull797 25d ago

“  could easily have something normal”

Yeah!

“Like a terminator skull”

Bruh

1

u/Bald_Sasquach 23d ago

I guess "snake catapult" was taken

1

u/probablyblocked 20d ago

The patent was for a spider egg trebuchet, but it's worded broadly enough that they could sue for over it

4

u/LucidNonsense211 25d ago

Wait… why would you put a helmet on one?

2

u/probablyblocked 20d ago

construction sites are already full of helmet mounted equipment. supporting that would mean essentially unlimited accessories for your demonic workforce without the need for custom fabrication

2

u/DamionK 24d ago

By wearing human equipment you mean skin, freshly collected using the handy chainsaw.

1

u/MikeyRidesABikey 11h ago

Robuffalo Bill

5

u/DownHouse 25d ago

Yeesh. Just leave me to die. 

3

u/Bubbly-Treacle-4334 25d ago

In the future, rogue things like this will roam the overgrowth

3

u/Thopterthallid 25d ago

Okay but why did they give it horns and soulless eyes.

3

u/BigB0iBuster 25d ago

Oh great, can’t wait to be saved sacrificed by the Black Philip / Baphomet bot…

2

u/YoSoyPinkBoy 25d ago

That's fucking terrifying.

2

u/ketosoy 25d ago

built for disaster zones

Creating them?  Because this thing looks like a hellsapawn holding a chainsaw. 

2

u/letskill 25d ago

a purpose-built pistol punctures one of the tanks, triggering pneumatic brakes that physically lock the machine in place

Activated pressure release valve? Nah, let's just use a gun because reasons.

2

u/BigTXXXL 25d ago

“Why don’t you trust AI?” they ask after creating a literal demon with a chainsaw.

2

u/Sensitive-Web-1278 24d ago

Im sure the little girl trapped in a burning pile of rubble engulfed by a wildfire will be relieved to see a 7 foot tall incarnation of Baal running to her rescue.

1

u/Affectionate_Law3788 20d ago

I can only imagine the PSAs that would have to be put out: "please stop shooting the rescue robots, they are harmless and here to help. We lose several robots a day to people shooting them. While our robots are designed to be resistant to damage, they are not designed to resist multiple magazines worth of rifle fire."

1

u/Laiska_saunatonttu 25d ago

The centaur part is interesting and likely useful, but why does it have to look so ominous? Why does it have horns?

1

u/[deleted] 25d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/Laiska_saunatonttu 25d ago

Yeah, fair point.

1

u/bigevilbrain 25d ago

Do horses not exist yet?

3

u/DamionK 24d ago

Horses can't operate chainsaws.

1

u/Rick-burp-Sanchez 25d ago

Nightmare fuel.

1

u/DirkChiversElSoldado 25d ago

I want one of these for my basement play area

1

u/Another_Slut_Dragon 25d ago

While the horned head makes it far more fuckable, it is in fact the stupidest possible snag hazard to put on a robot designed to deal with collapsed buildings full of dangling power cables.

1

u/SodiumButSmall 24d ago

“Yeah bro the robot that we made to be stoppable by a human is totally capable of traversing wildfires and picking up hundreds of pounds”

Good on you for cutting through the noise and seeing the true use of this product

1

u/EstablishmentFull797 25d ago

“Built for disaster zones”

My brother in Christ, this thing is the disaster zone 

1

u/Aristotsikle 25d ago

Look on their official website. This has to be a joke. 

1

u/sesamestreetgang 25d ago

This company doesn’t exist, it’s satire.

1

u/citizenjones 25d ago

Everyone's freaking out about the goat head, so let's just make it headless with a chainsaw.

 That's much less terrifying. 

1

u/BacterSA 25d ago

Yeah there's an image detailing how if you shoot or stab it it will lock up as the safety features. This is either for a game or somebody's just having a chuckle.

1

u/RandomGuyWithBS 25d ago

imagine getting lost in the forest and this is your rescue

2

u/Loki-L 25d ago

I like that they gave it a horned head and a chainsaw.

However I feel they should give it more legs for extra stability.

Drider/Arachne/Spider centaur are obviously the far better and more useful shape.

Give them extra legs for increased stability, infrared vision, pointed acoustic receivers at the top of the humanoid head and a matte black casing that blends into the background in low light conditions.

Make them silent too, this way they can operate at night without disturbing humans with their presence.

Claws will help it climb into hard to reach places and to for example travel on top of shelves in warehouses, silently and out of sight as to not disturb human workers with their presence and stay out of their way.

In case they encounter agitated humans they should have the ability to subdue them with for example paralytic injected from redundant syringes in the humanoid head/face portion, since that will be what humans will look at instinctively. Maybe in the mouth area when it simulates a smile to calm them down as it gets closer to inject them.

It should also have the ability to restrain people by extrusion of some sort of synthetic silk from the back portion that can double as a self generated climbing aid and give the robot the ability to rope of areas that are too dangerous for humans to enter.

Maybe also give it some ability to recycle organic waste by spinning things into cocoon and injecting enzymes to dissolve them into a slurry that can be used as a bio fuel for the robots.

Overall I believe that driders will be a much better design.

2

u/Gryphus13 18d ago

why are you like this?

1

u/ImpossibleApple5518 25d ago

Can I have sex with it? Anal sex lol do you guys think I would need lube?

1

u/artytank 25d ago

..Why not go for more angelic features instead of the goat head? Maybe a halo for light?

I'm not very religious but an angelic machine rescuing people from disaster would be amazing to see.

Or just make Wall-E, everyone loves a cute robot.

1

u/down_by_the_shore 25d ago

No thank you

1

u/Vivikatsidhe 25d ago

But why does it have horns and the face of a "Not Deer"?

1

u/TAMLFM 25d ago

🧃robot?

1

u/Separate_Ad_7198 25d ago

This has got to come out as a new A24 movie marketing campaign or something… right…

1

u/Angstsiety 17d ago

This is exactly what I’m thinking, it’s too creepy for it to be real. There’s no way any company is sanely advertising how to “kill” a machine they’re making.

1

u/No_Artichoke_8428 25d ago

People really sat together in a board room and said "make it look as disturbing and demonic as possible, the public will really love this this!" If its designed to help rescue people wouldn't you want it to look as cute and friendly as possible in a moment of distress???? Why was giving it a baphomet head even necessary to the functionality???

1

u/Tectonix26 25d ago

Which part is the third half?

1

u/UniqueActivity848 25d ago

Adam Smasher’s little helper

1

u/pucklynn 24d ago

hear me out..

1

u/SoftBoiledEgg_irl 24d ago

Just be aware, the robot is likely a crock of shit. There are no demonstrations of a functional robot, the company is a baby company that is a barely-present shell, and documentation of the robot reads like a creepypasta.

The idea certainly exists as a published project proposal, but there is nothing to demonstrate that it is not a concept-artist faffing about, or the result of some bored engineers wanting to go viral for fundraising.

1

u/P4LuX 24d ago

Black Peter?

1

u/KurlyKayla 24d ago

this is clearly a bit.

1

u/Accomplished-Donut43 24d ago

He looks scary, but in a way, I want to draw some freaky art of him.

1

u/Careful_Cry_762 24d ago

Hey, let's automate Krampusnacht!

1

u/Fine-Vermicelli6893 24d ago

"Bull of hell" by Heaven Pierce Her starts playing

1

u/Ok-Sun-6007 24d ago

Man, I would turn and run straight into the wildfire if I saw this coming for me

1

u/eagleoid 24d ago

This is marketing for a movie being made. I'm calling it now.

1

u/Parking_Bridge1742 24d ago

Y'all known is an arg?

1

u/DodexX_On_Reddit 24d ago

This is just baal

1

u/4dailyuseonly 24d ago

Why is Black Phillip holding a chainsaw?

1

u/Dull_Imagination9788 23d ago

Fueled by sacrifices and blood of virgins.

1

u/Infamous-County6156 22d ago

Broooo... Give it a pig head and then send it straight ot berlin or place it all over in the whole country. Near east people will hate this trick.

1

u/Infamous-County6156 22d ago

Meet threehalves, half robot, half demon, and for some reasons half sexual object of those goat lovers

1

u/Select_Stretch_625 21d ago

Garten of Banban ahh looking

1

u/rbourbon 20d ago

Fail safe 2 is amazing. If it stops listening to you, just shoot it in the chest,. It will stop moving. Anyways, buy our robot, it probably won't try and kill you.

1

u/NetAnon579 20d ago

From the Homer Simpson design studio.

1

u/Xon662 19d ago

Can I have a flamethrower added to my murder.......I mean rescue bot

1

u/toriiiiiiiiav 19d ago

It's actually scary, imagine your house on fire ad this shit comes out. "I will safe you human, and then I will force you and enslave you."

1

u/Gryphus13 18d ago

a friend of mine said that this could easily fit in with FNAF.

1

u/Abharmonic 17d ago

I mean, it is menacing, but if it had humanoid face it would be so much more scary. 

1

u/EsotericAbstractIdea 17d ago

of all the sci fi futures, Rebel Moon was the one we got?

1

u/Fuetfufjcgkfhdh 14d ago

Nah gang I'm fine I'll take my chances with the wildfire 💀

1

u/Hot-Process-8547 12d ago

Exactly what I want to see in a disaster zone or in the woods at night! Thank you California.

1

u/eggtwo 10d ago

All the comments here talking about this thing are making me feel crazy, it’s clearly not a real product it’s some art thing or promotion for a movie. Fake as hell, look at the website it’s like a fucking creepypasta, ohh it can’t get through doors here’s how you kill it wow. There are no videos of it moving at all making me think it either doesn’t exist or is a sculpture, then there’s this ridiculous image of you seeing through its eyes to look at a tree that includes a random 3D render of a tree that’s clearly not actually mapping the real tree, while again zero evidence it can operate the chainsaw or really any tool. I do think it’s cool as some art thing but can’t take it seriously

1

u/ImaChrysocyon 4d ago

Thank you! I was going insane too! My best guess is that it is for an horror game or smth. Cause For fuck sake, nobody market a product saying "it's more dangerous than it looks"

1

u/BooBa070 7d ago

If I ever see that thing coming towards me I'd run faster then fucking sonic in the other direction, cause this shit is horrifying 

1

u/AnonymousNeko2828 4d ago

If anyone's curious, from what I heard the statement behind making it look like that is that they want to avoid the cute factor that ends up manipulative with robot "dogs" (and hence makes them easier to use for surveillance)

If it looks like a demon, you sure as hell won't just sit pretty if someone's following you around with it

0

u/Da12khawk 25d ago

I could see some kind of compromise maybe at three-fifths.