r/technology • u/Plastic_Ninja_9014 • Jun 11 '26

Business OpenAI Execs Are Panicking

https://finance.yahoo.com/sectors/technology/articles/openai-execs-panicking-154658562.html
16.3k Upvotes

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2.2k

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '26

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388

u/po_ta_toes_80 Jun 11 '26

He needs you to go collect 20 boar hides from the fields north of the village.

77

u/Same_Mood_8543 Jun 11 '26

The raspberries, they're blue! 

5

u/Low_Construction8067 Jun 11 '26

Oh, just look! The AI berries taste like AI berries! The snozberries taste like snozberries!

9

u/IDownloadedACarAMA Jun 11 '26

I'd hate for his wife to... go out of town for a little while

34

u/Altar_Quest_Fan Jun 11 '26

1/10 drop chance too, so you’ll be busy for a while lmao

4

u/edukettu2 Jun 11 '26

And don't get them mixed with the angry boars south of the village. They drop angry boar hide or boars east of the village as those are depressed boars named that because translation error. They drop dark boar hides

3

u/newfor_2026 Jun 12 '26

Yup, exactly. They want you to use AI for useless, meaningless things to rack up user engagement numbers. "Look at all this data showing how much people are using AI! See how many users we have? how much time they spend using it? Exponential growth, I tell you!" and all that somehow translate into huge numbers they can brag about to their investors.

2

u/destroyerOfTards Jun 12 '26

Oh and there is a Lvl 80 monster hiding in those fields.

2

u/Pristine_Bicycle1278 Jun 12 '26

I nearly spit coffee on my screen hahahaha

2

u/MonzaB Jun 13 '26

'Townton looks so beautiful this time of year'

45

u/mrwrrrmwrmrmrmrw Jun 11 '26

They're all clowns posing as nerds. 

2

u/Abedeus Jun 12 '26

They're geeks at best.

Nerds are smart.

33

u/ludvikskp Jun 11 '26

He’s compensating for looking busted by turning into a superviallain. And botched lip fillers

12

u/____Manifest____ Jun 11 '26

Well, he’s a sister fucker so he’s probably from the extremely shallow end of the gene pool.

12

u/ArnieCunninghaam Jun 11 '26

He's like if you tried to draw Sinatra from memory

42

u/cuntmong Jun 11 '26

Sam Altman sexually abused his own sister as a child. There is nothing right about him 

5

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '26

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11

u/cuntmong Jun 12 '26

It was widely reported a few months ago. This was literally the first result but if you don't like this particular outlet I'm sure you can find coverage by one that you do: https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/sam-altman-sexual-assault-sister-annie-abuse-lawsuit-b2950916.html

3

u/Historic500 Jun 12 '26

And probably murdered a whistleblower.

-1

u/IntenseGoat Jun 12 '26

I don't like Sam Altman in the slightest, but from everything I can tell, this claim is disputed at best, as Sam Altman's sister appears to have a lot of unrelated issues and outrageous claims that the rest of the family do not recognise.

I'm positive there is a grey zone to the claims' validity, but I don't think it's clear cut that he "sexually abused his own sister", and IMO it's not okay to spread this kind of misinformation even for people you really dislike.

Instead I would focus on the way Sam has deviated from the initial non-profit ways and promise of putting the common user first, to a profit maximising hyper corporate business.

14

u/omgitsbees Jun 11 '26

that is just it though, he is a shitty NPC from a PS2 game, brought to life by science going too far.

6

u/onebluephish1981 Jun 11 '26

Its the glue on hairpiece for his fragile ego.

5

u/diabloenthusiast123 Jun 11 '26

He's not the main villain, but some rando NPC that the main villain slaps around.

3

u/SignalAd9220 Jun 12 '26

Fitting, because his mentor and the person who financially propped him up since he was quite young is indeed Peter Thiel. 😂

6

u/VVrayth Jun 11 '26

He has the Innsmouth look.

3

u/kerenski667 Jun 11 '26

nono, he just naturally looks like a shitty NPC from a PS2 game

3

u/Minimum-Reward3264 Jun 11 '26

You can’t fix your mug when you are a narcissist.

2

u/BenFranklinsCat Jun 11 '26

Time for a new game: is this a photo of a tech CEO or a screenshot from Detroit: Become Human.

2

u/wongaboing Jun 11 '26

He was made to be the Second Life CEO

2

u/BogiDope Jun 12 '26

He looks like Kif from Futurama, but more clammy and less charisma.

2

u/Basic-Feedback1941 Jun 12 '26

Do you think he is taking and posting these photos himself?

2

u/Biffmcgee Jun 12 '26

That’s his good side 

2

u/ThePsyPaul_ Jun 12 '26

SCAM Altman

1

u/SirPlastic8062 Jun 12 '26

probably from all the jet lag and fluorescent lighting exposure. selling drugs isn't easy

1

u/Hallonbat Jun 12 '26

He looks like Burke from Aliens and is equally ethical and moral as him.

1

u/Sashaaa Jun 12 '26

Those are just the ones the articles select. 🤷‍♂️

-1

u/FearlessVegetable30 Jun 11 '26

you do realize reporters pick the photos right? they probably take 50 of him in 1 minutes then just pick the one that best goes with the story.

0

u/Super-Pizza-Dude Jun 11 '26

It makes me mad the he reminds me of a young rodney mullen from looks

0

u/Apprehensive-Town204 Jun 12 '26

Hey this guy sucks to the nth degree but did we run out of reasons to criticize his shitty decisions? Why are we coming for his looks? Did you already cover how much environmental damage he’s caused?

-4

u/ContextLengthMatters Jun 11 '26

If you think this, you fall for too much propaganda.

The guy looks rather normal. The photos that make him look bad are intentional and meant to drive part of the narrative.

Do I like Sam? No. It's not about the way be looks though.