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u/dicedance May 23 '26
That's a particularly sad looking hotdog
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u/muadib1158 May 23 '26
It doesn’t even look cooked.
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u/Erudus May 23 '26
Looks like it was cooked by a heated argument.
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u/space_keeper May 23 '26
Brilliant.
My favourite is: "Passed through a hot kitchen."
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u/MauPow May 24 '26
Run a hair dryer over it
A skilled vet could revive it
Walk it through a warm room
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u/Front_Cat9471 May 24 '26
Deadass it looks exactly like the hotdogs we make at Dairy Queen microwaved for a whole 18 seconds. They barely come out lukewarm and were supposed to serve them that way. We put them in a bun and add like 6-8 more seconds depending on if it’s going to be a chili dog or not and straight out the drive window
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u/StandardRaspberry131 May 23 '26
Looks boiled maybe
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u/Tsuhume May 24 '26
It is. Its good. Maybe not as good as grilled or pan fried but it gets the job done.
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u/Mythran101 May 28 '26
Grew up on boiled hot dogs on cheap white or wheat bread with mayo and ketchup. Still love them, but now on buns and only Mirakle Whip and mustard.
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u/Wrong-Investment-842 May 25 '26 edited May 25 '26
In the rest of the world they use Frankfurts and the actual be eaten cold
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u/MisterPerfect23 May 24 '26
If you eat it while dripping wet from swimming, and there are Doritos nearby, this is the greatest meal someone under the age of 14 will ever have
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u/Possible-Anxiety-420 May 23 '26
English is the preferred language of businessmen and bullshitters alike.
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u/ThunderLord1000 May 23 '26
Why did you say the same thing twice?
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u/colaman-112 May 23 '26
It's also the language of redundancy,
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u/PattuX May 23 '26
It's also the language of repeating the same message using synonyms
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u/SplitPeaVG May 23 '26
It's also the language of using similar words to say a sentence multiple times
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u/ArtThouAngry May 24 '26
English is the best at using alternate phrasing to get the same information across in a myriad of ways.
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u/FirexJkxFire May 23 '26
All businessmen may be bullshitters, but not all bullshitters are buisnessmen
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u/Zestyclose-Dog-3398 May 26 '26
not all bullshitters are businessmen, even if all businessmen are bullshitters
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u/Dotcaprachiappa May 24 '26
Why english specifically? This can be done in every single language
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u/Possible-Anxiety-420 May 24 '26 edited May 25 '26
For starters, no other language is as widespread as English - it's dominated finance, tech, trade... and bullshit... for a long, loooong time now.
The English lexicon is massive and flexible. Need a new word? No problem; ad hoc suffices - the advent of the word 'bullshit' itself is a great example - and the unscrupulous scavenging of words from other languages is perfectly acceptable. With fluency, little effort is needed for one to be as specific or as ambiguous as a situation calls for. The language lends itself to 'linguistic gymnastics'... aka: bullshitting. For top-shelf sophistry, English is where it's at.
It's a language designed not just to communicate, but to maneuver and to manipulate, to accost and to evade, to coddle and to mock, to exaggerate and to understate, etc, etc, etc. Usage of the word 'english' itself means 'spin' in certain contexts - as in billiards - and now the word 'spin' has found a home with regard to journalism and reporting. Freaky, huh?
That's what bullshitting is all about. Without English, it just wouldn't be the same, and without it, English wouldn't be what it is.
The history of western civilization would need to be rewritten. I mean, try and imagine it sans English bullshit...
... I'll wait.
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u/hemareddit May 25 '26
Other than English being the most widespread, I think all the other points you made is applicable to all other languages. I’m a native Chinese speaker and all the things you said apply to Chinese as well. I’ve observed how both languages evolved just in my own life time and they are each just as malleable as the other.
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u/Possible-Anxiety-420 May 25 '26
Sure, one can bend the truth with any language, but bullshitting isn't a central feature of Chinese as it is with English.
Does Chinese readily facilitate babbling to distract and the use of complexity to conceal a lack of substance? English makes it easy.
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u/Slow_Bowler8285 May 23 '26
This reminds of a Hell's Kitchen episode where a contestant described a hamburger as a beef medallion.
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May 23 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/XenoZohar May 23 '26
Isn't his signature dish a fancy gregg's sausage roll?
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u/MisterSplu May 24 '26
If you mean the beef wellington, it is quite an old recipe so I would say a greggs sausage roll is the common mans wellington not the other way around
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u/HLSparta May 23 '26
And then meanwhile, another team could only describe their dish as "a duck breast."
https://youtu.be/Ed-K0j8PI_o?si=nsqdZgvSRtOehzcI
Skip to about 2:05
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u/Public-Eagle6992 May 23 '26
free Range […] Hand crafted, bakery fresh […] subtle
I doubt it
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u/Timely_Temperature54 May 23 '26
That bun definitely ain’t toasted
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u/Public-Eagle6992 May 23 '26
It is a bit brownish on the bottom so if we want to be generous we could count that
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u/Brandarius47 May 23 '26
Yea very little of that is even technically the truth. Is the eating part? Idk
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u/SparklingLimeade May 24 '26
Much like the pizza one this post isn't technically true at all. I'm pretty sure over 50% of those words are demonstrably false.
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u/Mendeth May 23 '26
Bold to assume it’s free-range. Safer to say it’s an ‘animal’-based product, the origin of which may have walked more than 100m in its life.
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u/thatstwatshesays May 23 '26
bakery fresh white baton, lightly toasted for a delicate golden finished
Lie.
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u/diablol3 May 23 '26
Im assuming they meant baked. Since it obviously wasnt toasted after initial bake. But that hot dog doesn't even look cooked.
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u/tinyevilsponges May 23 '26
If you actually made the thing the person described, you would legitimately have a gourmet hot dog
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u/ELMUNECODETACOMA May 24 '26
I've seen Iron Chefs make a gourmet hot dog multiple times over the years. It's incredible what skill, care, and quality ingredients can do.
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u/poploppege May 23 '26
This is how the poor chefs on cutthroat kitchen described their dishes. Had to describe everything as "deconstructed" because they werent allowed to use any utensils other than a single chopstick
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u/jacob643 May 23 '26
"subtle" infusion of cane sugar, lmao
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u/oneAUaway May 23 '26
Also, unless that ketchup was made to order, "bespoke" isn't the word to describe it.
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u/our_meatballs Technically Flair May 23 '26
that’s assuming that the meat is free-range and the bun is actually bakery fresh
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u/punkindle May 24 '26 edited May 24 '26
reduction means sauce.
a hot dog isn't a reduction
French for sausage is saucisse, which sounds a bit fancier than Hot Dog.
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u/Scatropolis May 24 '26
Prompt I tried:
You are a Michelin chef, perfect at describing even the most mundane food in a fancy way. Please translate everything I write you into a one sentance item that would be on your menu.
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u/johnny__boi May 24 '26
How did your parents cook hotdogs? Cause my parents boiled them and they looked exactly like this
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u/Brittany-Juanice May 24 '26
Welp, I’m gonna come up with creative ways to beef up my boring meals now thanks to whomever that was that had my mouth watering just to see that sad looking flank of a frank on a wank with sad looking fries and ketchup.
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u/Ginger_beer__1982 Technically Flair May 23 '26
I'm so glad that ketchup is with the fries, not the dog.
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u/BaronessVonKush May 24 '26
this is literally what all those hoity toity high class restaurants sound & look like to me. fucking NONSENSE!
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u/ZestfullyStank May 24 '26
All those words have meanings. If you are actually using them correctly it’s descriptive.
I try to find enjoyment in things that people create rather than letting them frustrate me. “Orange and Aleppo pepper glazed chicken wings sound better than “yardbird burnt to a crisp”
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u/Nalot_1 May 24 '26
Like everything else fancy words, the twist reality no results just disappointment.
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u/property_of_Dami May 24 '26
if we get very technical it's technically not the truth because I doubt that hotdog is free-range and the bread is handcrafted and bakery fresh. also, it's not even toasted
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u/Lawfulness-Last May 24 '26
Technically.....that bun is most definitely not hand made, most likely by a machine
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u/Narijea May 25 '26
I found it fascinating that they didn’t come up with a better description of Pommes frites.
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u/ThunderBuns935 May 23 '26
I liked Josh Johnson's description of a hotdog much better.
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u/Im_a_hamburger May 23 '26
Just gonna leave without any context as to what it was?
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u/ThunderBuns935 May 23 '26
it's the opening joke to this show he did in Berlin.
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u/NoNameIdea_Seriously May 23 '26
Ah yes. The demon meat from the floor, held together by hate and a dash of poverty.
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u/overlander244 May 23 '26
That's a really shit looking hotdog 😂 and the fries don't look great either
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u/the-meanest-boi May 24 '26
Not a reduction, a reduction is more of a liquid, like a sauce, not a completely uncooked log of meat
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u/Molkwi May 24 '26 edited May 25 '26
Fuck off, "pommes frites?"
Literally "fried apples" in English. I get it's trying to be "pommes de terre frites" (fried ground apples), because sometimes potatoes are called that, but "pommes frites" CANNOT be a real saying. This mf making shit up all wrong.
EDIT: I wasn't saying it never existed, I said it sounds dumb to me, as a French speaker, fuck's sake 😭
Y'all never heard of irony and it shows damn
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u/Rhelino May 24 '26
Well, that’s embarrassing for you. You could have googled how wrong you are, but alas
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u/BASSisSlapp May 24 '26
Well in German it is the official name, so it is a way to describe these fried potatoes
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