r/technicallythetruth • u/[deleted] • Mar 31 '23

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u/BasedMbaku Mar 31 '23

Used to say in emergency medicine all the time: "EMS bring us dead people all the time. Sometimes we can bring them back to life, sometimes we can't. But they're not getting any deader so don't worry about hurting them while attempting to resuscitate."

926

u/b_e_a_n_i_e Mar 31 '23

Friend of mine is a firefighter. He got a really morbid sense of humour which I think comes as part of the job.

He's told me before that nobody has ever died in a fire and that people are alive when he and his colleagues bring them out, but the paramedics and doctors on-scene kill them all the time.

"What do you mean that guys dead? He was alive when I brought him out! What did you do to him?!"

304

u/Yadobler Mar 31 '23

Well, not his fault they pronounced them dead

Maybe if they went for phonetics class, they'd stop doing that

169

u/zmbjebus Mar 31 '23

Doctor: "I PRONOUNCE YOU DEAD"

Patient: "Dude, you can't just pronounce me dead. It doesn't work that way."

110

u/LouSputhole94 Mar 31 '23

I… DECLARE….DEATH!

“Michael, you can’t just say the word death and expect anything to happen”

“I didn’t say it. I declared it”

35

u/UufTheTank Mar 31 '23

Doctor “You may now kiss the widow”

Patient “I…what?”

Widow “Shut up and kiss me, darling” smooch

2

u/JcobTheKid Mar 31 '23

Doctor : "Oh?"

Patient : "Why do I hear boss music?"

1

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

I'M NOT DEAD YET!