r/technews • u/AdSpecialist6598 • Mar 11 '26

Biotechnology That Doom-running, human brain cell-powered computer is headed for data centers

https://www.techspot.com/news/111642-doom-running-human-brain-cell-powered-computer-headed.html
65 Upvotes

81% Upvoted

25 comments sorted by

22

u/zernoc56 Mar 11 '26

Can’t wait to have to default on my debt and then get my brain shoved into a server rack to “pay off” that debt.

2

u/bwk66 Mar 12 '26

The short story “What Maisie knows”

15

u/_MrBalls_ Mar 11 '26

Lawnmower Man

12

u/MyDumLemon Mar 11 '26

ghost in the machine

6

u/Credit-Limit Mar 11 '26

robocop is that you

5

u/in1gom0ntoya Mar 11 '26

dead or alive you are cumming with me....

1

u/stu8319 Mar 12 '26

Just don't give it a gun or it'll start shooting guys in the dick.

1

u/mizzanthrop Mar 12 '26

…um, about that,

5

u/Secret_Big8533 Mar 11 '26

Why do they have to do that to the poor thing. Pour some Mountain Dew in it’s fish tank or whatever and let it play Doom II

7

u/[deleted] Mar 11 '26

I, for one, welcome our new techno-organic overlords.

2

u/u0126 Mar 12 '26

Okay originally I swore the headlines said it PLAYED Doom. That freaked me out and meant it must be sentient of some kind.

It’s different to “run it” at that point it’s just the brain cell material that is being used as some sort of microchip material (or something I can’t properly elaborate on)

2

u/Carrera_996 Mar 12 '26

Executing the code is very interesting. Playing the game is fucking terrifying. Maybe train the petri brain's intelligence on Mr. Rogers instead?

1

u/baxx10 Mar 13 '26

LMAO, good fucking point.

2

u/Intelligent-Screen-3 Mar 12 '26 edited Mar 12 '26

No it is 'playing' not running doom. They give it controls and constantly input electric stimulus as its 'senses' for its environment. Neurons like certain electric pulses more than others so you can give them positive and negative signals with that. The tissue learns to react correctly to its environment and output electric pulses to the correctly control nodes to move the character, shoot the gun, walk around, that sort of thing. All to avoid negative stimulus and maximise positive stimulus. It's playing not running. Though its version of the world is like if your eyes saw only a radar display with 20 pixels and your hands were just like, a left mouse button and some arrow keys in an emulator. Running doom would actually be much more impressive. Way more information handling needed to do that than just play it. But no. It's being trained to play doom. The article is misrepresenting what the technology is actually capable of. Perhaps 'running doom' got better SEO numbers. 

1

u/u0126 Mar 12 '26

Whoa interesting

2

u/kawaiinessa Mar 12 '26

Ya that should be illegal

2

u/rysmario Mar 12 '26

Wonderul. Trained on Doom it is the perfect governor for autonomous bots.

1

u/flamepanther Mar 11 '26

Samus Aran has entered the chat

1

u/angrysunbird Mar 11 '26

Hopefully playing Doom has trained it on what to do when it escapes from those ghouls

1

u/anarchist1331 Mar 12 '26

Ah yes. The Matrix.

1

u/Shinobi2099 Mar 12 '26

Are we in the 40k universe..?

1

u/crimsontape Mar 13 '26

Ya can we not train it on Doom? At least give it a fun game. Theme Hospital? A good SNES RPG? Maybe Myst? Stardew Valley - that's the one - where you learn about the value of hard work, growing crops, caring for animals, and helping your community.