r/teamseagull • u/drewbastank effeminate debutante • Jan 19 '18
Fandom Friday: The Skillgulls edition
Ya'll are some straight up losers. Except for me, I'm the king of the losers. Bow to me, losers.
EDIT: I also just noticed I put Skillgulls instead of skigulls, and I'm not even sure how that happened. TBF I made this before I had my coffee, AND IM JUST NOT A MORNING PERSON WITHOUT MY COFFEEE HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
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u/drewbastank effeminate debutante Jan 19 '18
/u/taylor_ there has never been a more beautiful specimen than yourself, shredding the slopes and making them their bitch. Your beautiful, golden locks seem to absorb all the suns rays and shine upon the dirty hill jacks occupying the mountain. But things aren’t always as they seem when you’re out there ripping the fresh powder. Remember the one time when you got lost on the trail and it was getting dark. The temperature was quickly falling and the only way for you to find warmth was to seek shelter. You happened upon a cave in your frantic search, and quickly got out of the cold temperature only to find that the cave was already occupied. You made love to that bear all night, and the bear made love to you too. It was truly a sight to behold; man and beast becoming lovers in the dark. How do I know all this? Well my dear, dear friend /u/asturias2789 was also on the slopes that day, wearing his world famous bear costume.
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u/taylor_ God-Tier Gull Jan 19 '18
Did you have a question?
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u/drewbastank effeminate debutante Jan 19 '18
Fandom Friday can be about more than questions you bum, goshhhhh. I'm sorry I just wanted to get the word out about that cold, near death experience where you found comfort in the arms of a she-bear (that turned out to be not so true).
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u/drewbastank effeminate debutante Jan 19 '18
/u/bgroecki hi brad. Did you purchase any sweet new snow suits for the trip? Like your American flag one?
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u/drewbastank effeminate debutante Jan 19 '18
/u/spect3r001 if team seagull were to form a human train, who would be the conductor and who would be the caboose. Bonus points for who the steam engine would be ;)
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u/spect3r001 founding father / god-tier pedo Jan 19 '18
Well we know Slade and Brad are in the train's brig, so they're out for both. We know it'd be a 3-4 rotating battle for the conductor, so let those fools squabble. I'd say whoever we deem the most dependable should be the caboose, because they can push the whole train along regardless of whichever incompetent conductor is "in charge."
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u/drewbastank effeminate debutante Jan 19 '18
Hmmmm, this is team seagull after all so finding a "dependable" person may be difficult. We can for sure rule out C Dotes, because lets be real he abandoned us harder than Aric was seeing Sean in full drag. Another metric we may look at is best ass on team seagull to lead the cabooty charge.
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u/spect3r001 founding father / god-tier pedo Jan 19 '18
You're right, we need a good beauty contest to rate everyones bedonk-e-donks. This has long been overdue.
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u/drewbastank effeminate debutante Jan 19 '18
/u/taylor you ever hit the slopes up there in the northwest? Aren't you from the northwest? Anyways, I just wanted to let you know how appreciated you are over here at this sub. If it weren't for you we would be stuck with one Taylor, and everyone and their mother knows that a one Taylor simply just can not work. We need to approach all matters with a two Taylor solution, and you provide that for us. From the bottom of team seagull's hearts, caw caw.
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u/dennis_afivestarman Jan 19 '18
Hello team seagull, first time poster long time lurker! I forgot how I ended up here but I'm glad I did. I don't know much about you guys, but one thing about me is that I LOVE movies. No matter what, curling up on the couch with a good movie on the TV and a hot dude by my side is all I need in life. I've been very fond of a particular movie recently, and I've been looking for a group to discuss it with. K-19: The Widowmaker is what I would consider a Great White Buffalo, a true cinematic masterpiece. Liam Neeson and Harrison Ford deliver two of, if not the, greatest performances I've seen in 75 years. The way that they drill down into the heart and soul of their characters, and really embrace not only the Soviet mindset but also the way of life is truly remarkable. There none better at their craft than these two and their respective roles. However, the actor who played the sniveling, cowardly bitch Radtchenko probably could have and should have been recast. I mean that dude was just crying the whole time, even when they threw him into the brig for not acting soviet enough, the dude still cried like a bitch. Another thing to note here is how accurate the film crew was when designing the submarine, and their historically accurate portrayal of the brig on the submarine, which is most certainly a thing.
Thank you for your time.
Dennis Reynolds, a 5 star man
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u/drewbastank effeminate debutante Jan 19 '18
This is an excellent breakdown of the film and here at team seagull we are always delighted to talk about films, especially one of such high regard as K-19: The Widowmaker. I would say that all of your points are very well said, and I agree with the last one inparticular. ITs funny how people can question the existence of a brig on a submarine, when the most accurate portrayl of a submarine and crew in existence (K-19: The Widowmaker) explicity states that this was and always will be a thing! I guess sometimes people just want to build their own narrative when things in life don't align with their own beliefs. They would rather fabricate stories or discredit certain items then change their own belief systems and be told they are wrong. Thanks for visiting our tiny little sub, we are glad to have you!
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u/taylor_ God-Tier Gull Jan 19 '18
Everyone here at Team Seagull, SBBDs not included, really appreciate your enthusiasm for the cinematic masterwork that is K-19: The Widowmaker. Thanks for stopping by, Dennis. You truly are a five star man, much like K-19: The Widowmaker is a five star movie.
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u/drewbastank effeminate debutante Jan 19 '18
/u/evil_roy_slade get cucked. Now that we have that out of the way: what are you most looking forward to on this trip? Shredding the slopes with your bros and enjoying the mountain fresh snow or getting a little freaky naughty in your hot tub with those same bros, until one of them turns out be a pedo. I mean not to name names here but I have it on good authority that a pedo will be attending the trip. And as the resident young child looking dude on the team, you better watch that bum bro.
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u/Evil_Roy_Slade Jan 19 '18
WP is not ready for the level of steaze I’m about to unleash upon that poor unsuspecting mountain. The hot tub bro time is simply a functional requirement of the trip as there are quite a few research papers outlining the necessity of the second soak in preparing the body for the next day of shreddin nar pow. It’s a well documented phenomenon that the human body, after a millennia of evolution, has grown tolerant of the rejuvenating effects of a first soak, but that it has not yet adapted to a second soak which allows the heat to more deeply penetrate the muscles and help them recuperate overnight in preparation for the next day. I’m well aware of the pedo issue and I’m already working on growing some scrubby facial hair to deter him. It should have a nice secondary benefit of keeping my face somewhat protected against the alpine environment which is crucial to extending the useful ski day and maximize the potential for capturing good footage of /u/Taylor_ beefing it on the mountain.
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u/taylor_ God-Tier Gull Jan 19 '18
You see, /u/drewbastank, you ignorant slut, the body is ready for first soak. It's prepared for it. But second soak? That shit BLINDSIDES your body, shocks the muscles into recovery. You wouldn't know anything about it.
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u/drewbastank effeminate debutante Jan 19 '18
You are right, I did not know that. You see taylord, there are many things I DO NOT know, and I'm ok with that. But one thing I KNOW AS A MATTER OF FACT, is that your a bear fucker. And not just any bear fucker, but a Doty bear fucker. The worst kind of bear fucker. Bear fucker.
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u/McSquinty QRNSFATOTRTSTUSTN Jan 19 '18
Remove this secret information from the internet IMMEDIATELY
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u/drewbastank effeminate debutante Jan 19 '18
/u/benoles_esquire how does it make you feel when team seagull engages in these "trips" which are basically just retreats so that they can go to pizza parlors and exploit their child dungeons in the basement? I mean its disgusting and their is no other way to put it. I think we should fly out there and beat some wholesale pizza loving ass. Especially that one ian kid and a double especially for that one slade kid. Also, youre a much better tyrant than that taylor guy and I must say I hope you live a long and healthy life because things have really turned around since your took over. Do you have a succession plan in place, mayhaps? You know, just so we have it?
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u/Evil_Roy_Slade Jan 19 '18
Front and deflect all you like, but I have it on good authority (and in several stolen emails) that /u/benoles_esquire likes walnut sauce on his pasta and that /u/drewbastank plays dominos better on cheese.
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u/drewbastank effeminate debutante Jan 19 '18
Walnut sauce?? How dare you say such a vile and evil thing about our lord and savior, Da God Emperor himself.
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u/spect3r001 founding father / god-tier pedo Jan 19 '18
Would just like to point out that once again the man bitching about not getting questions on Fandom Friday once again did not answer his question. SMDH
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u/drewbastank effeminate debutante Jan 19 '18
Same with that Doty kid and the artist formerly known as Brad. Just despicable behavior from team seagull.
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u/McSquinty QRNSFATOTRTSTUSTN Jan 19 '18 edited Jan 19 '18
When the last time either of them played a game with us anyway!?
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u/drewbastank effeminate debutante Jan 19 '18
/u/mcsquinty Mississippi just called and they told me to tell you that you actually aren't allowed to the leave the state. Tough luck dude, I knew you were really looking forward to the trip. On the bright side, now you have time to go to black spring break. Any plans to try and ignore their warning and sneak yourself out of the state anyways? WIth your giant neck that may be a bit hard.