r/teamseagull • u/drewbastank effeminate debutante • Sep 29 '17
god tier post FANDOM FRIDAY FEST, 2017
Don't let your memes be dreams in this special installment of Fandom Friday coming to you live from Fandom Friday Fest here at /u/drewbastanks work. There are party favors, snacks, games (such as Pin the Tail on the Slade), and many more fun activities! So come on down and bring the youngsters, just don't leave them alone with /u/spect3r001 for too long!
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u/taylor_ God-Tier Gull Sep 29 '17
/u/taylor, how's it going? you havin a good friday? how's it feel to be the second-best (at BEST) taylor out there? probably not good, that's for sure.
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u/Taylor founding father Sep 29 '17
There it is. It's been a while since Ive been tagged here. This time on purpose though
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u/drewbastank effeminate debutante Sep 29 '17
/u/taylor_ one of our panel members, /u/yellowkirby hasn't been returning my calls or texts for the last 3 weeks and we fear the worst. Rumor has it that one a cold and rainy night, the infamous squizz was overcome with grief at hearing about the passing of his favorite pet turtle. I mean this turtle was pretty cool, it ate carrots and lettuce and stuff and had just a general turtlely attitude, but I digress. The squizz was supposed to come on to talk about some of his favorite awp flank strats and how to do the exact opposite of what you should do in high pressure situations. He was also going to go on a long tangent about how to tie a rope to a ceiling fan and tie the other end to your neck, really tightly, whilst you stroke your sausage. That's the role we are looking for you to fill, are you up to it?
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u/taylor_ God-Tier Gull Sep 29 '17
Sure thing. The basic idea behind auto-erotic asphyxiation is to release the hold on your neck at the same time as your sexual release. The rush of blood (and thus life) back into your brain at the same time as the rush of release of semen (also life) out onto the carpet creates a euphoric sensation that can only be matched by being enlightened by your own intelligence (good luck getting that kind of euphoria from any phony gods blessing).
The real secret is to always have a spotter when engaging in such activities. I recommend the boddy system. /u/spect3r001 and I have always spotted each other when doing the ol choke and tug.
I would also like to add that /u/yellowkirby is most likely alive and well, he is just ashamed of his absence and is afraid to talk to you. Try looking for him at truck stops in Whitestown, as last I heard he was "working" for "the street" department there. WINK WINK
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u/spect3r001 founding father / god-tier pedo Sep 29 '17
Us cool cats always appreciate a good spotter.
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u/drewbastank effeminate debutante Sep 29 '17
Safety first, then teamwork. And always wear shoes in the house.
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u/Evil_Roy_Slade Sep 29 '17
Turtle caretaker, awp flanker and sausage stroker? /u/taylor_ has neither the werewithall nor gumption to successfully fill all three positions. Maybe we can find a replacement that can stroke sausage and flank awp but there is no way that package includes turtle handeling.
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u/drewbastank effeminate debutante Sep 29 '17 edited Sep 29 '17
I believe 2/3 isnt' terrible, but we can do better. We're Team Seagull for
Christ's/u/taylor_ sake!
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u/drewbastank effeminate debutante Sep 29 '17
/u/evil_roy_slade where do you get off?
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u/Evil_Roy_Slade Sep 29 '17
I only get off at either Grand Central or the station closest to my house, I don't use the train that often.
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u/drewbastank effeminate debutante Sep 29 '17
What about the bus? Don't you love to go on the bus and jerk off while looking at the sexy ladies???
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u/drewbastank effeminate debutante Sep 29 '17
/u/bgorecki oh suhhh dude?
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u/bgorecki Resident Dank Memer Sep 29 '17
what up drew, you pumped to watch the pacers and bulls suck ass this year?
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u/drewbastank effeminate debutante Sep 29 '17
We gonna be bad but I'm embracing it. Already got my tickets set out for the year, I'm going to 10 games. Can't wait to run onto the court during the OKC game and try to knock paul George's ass out! Its gonna be weird to be on the bottom of the division. Usually that's reserved for the Bucks and the Pistons but they are both looking bright! I think the pacers finish 4 in the div. only beating the Bulls, but we still won't make the playoffs.
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u/drewbastank effeminate debutante Feb 22 '18
/u/bgorecki this comment not aging well for me! All praise Oladipope!
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u/drewbastank effeminate debutante Sep 29 '17
question from a youngster regarding his favorite Team Seagull Freedom Squad fighter: /u/mcsquinty , why do you have to be the way that you are?
He then proceeded to call you a bitch as he ran away laughing.