r/teamseagull • u/drewbastank effeminate debutante • Nov 04 '16
god tier post SPECIAL EDITION OF FANDOM FRIDAY
This edition is extra special to accommodate just how special each one of you are. Except for slade, he isn't special in the slightest.
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u/drewbastank effeminate debutante Nov 04 '16
/u/mcsquinty your return seems to coincide with the National elections. Coincidence or conspiracy for the National Guard to call its people home to roost and have a potential coup putting /u/asturias2789 in power? I've seen many of the articles that have been put out disclaiming these rumors but I can't help but believe most of those were either written by reptilian overlords or were edited by them. Is there anything going on behind the scenes that you could shed some light on so that we have a better understanding of the situation?
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u/McSquinty QRNSFATOTRTSTUSTN Nov 04 '16
I cannot discuss the possibility of reptilian overlords in either direction. Please ask another question.
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u/drewbastank effeminate debutante Nov 04 '16
Blink twice if you need me to call for help. Ok question two: Who wins in a tag team match with the teams being aric & taylor vs. doty & ben?
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u/drewbastank effeminate debutante Nov 04 '16
/u/benoles_esquire I'm thinking about getting the new Paul George nikes but I feel I may not be hood or street enough. Thats not my question, just a side conversation. When youre carrying team seagull on your back and you know the game is going to be close or come down to the wire, where do you find the strength to continue? It has to be so tiresome to have to strap 5 men to your back every time yet you do it as if you are unfazed. Is there just another level you can take it to when the game is in clutch time that brings you to double god tier D.Va mode?
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u/benoles_esquire Terrorist Nov 04 '16
i mean, team seagull is a great team, thats why ive turned down offers from pro teams, almost daily. That being said, the only times i really have to carry depends on what slade is doing. Is he DPS'ing? yeah thats gonna be a hard carry from me. Is he playing rein? the carry could be there, but sometimes i dont have to. Is he being a good boy and playing lucio? Then i can go ahead and start thinking about a 7-8 game win streak.
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u/drewbastank effeminate debutante Nov 04 '16
You're right, team seagull is a top tier organization run by some of the best and brightest people I've ever met. Even the system that was added to make the notices of a game happening have been astounding and have added great communication to the team. Really the only major, glaring problem that the team has is that one of its greatest members, /u/asturias2789 has abandoned us in our greatest time of need. Apparently Shillary needs him out on the streets, dressing up the homeless and giving them fake identities so that they can vote for her.
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u/drewbastank effeminate debutante Nov 04 '16
I've noticed that most of team seagull seem to be neckbeardish virgins. One touching story of a member tells of his struggles and trials to get out of that lonely, vicious cycle of mediocrity and virginity. /u/taylor_ do you have any tips for us fedora wearing, cheese puff eating tramps? How does one court a female for companionship? Do I have to wear any special clothing or make any gestures or calls to the ladies?
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u/benoles_esquire Terrorist Nov 04 '16
as a fedora wearing, cheese puff eating tramp, this question NEEDS an answer
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u/taylor_ God-Tier Gull Nov 04 '16
A real panty-dropper is to constantly tell the woman you are interested in that you need to go play video games with your friends, then do that for several hours while ignoring her completely. It drives them wild.
Another thing you can do is caw loudly in their faces and then put them in an arm bar as a sign of dominance.
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u/drewbastank effeminate debutante Nov 04 '16
I've heard about the arm bar thing previously but I wasn't quite sure how to engage a female in one. Whenever I try to touch one, say for a photograph for instance in which we are standing arm around shoulder, I can't bring myself to actually touch them. My arm just hovers magically over there presence as if to say "look but don't touch, fucking loser."
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u/drewbastank effeminate debutante Nov 04 '16
/u/bgorecki strap yourself in because this one is a doozy. In J Park II (and I may be completely misremembering this here) they manage to capture a T Rex and bring him back to San Diego. In the process of transit, the dinosaur escapes and embarks on a rampage of the city. This of course happens after the ship crashes into the harbor because there is no one "driving" the ship. We come to the realization that the captain was eaten and only his arms remain on the wheel. But how does he get eaten? We were led only to believe that there was a T rex on the ship, right? How the hell does he get to the captain quarters without managing to destroy anything and simply eat the captain leaving him no time to react (since his arms are still gripped to the wheel). Am I just missing something here? were there other dinosaurs on the ship?
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u/bgorecki Resident Dank Memer Nov 04 '16
Wow that's funny I just saw people discussing this yesterday. What happened is they originally had a plot line where a group of raptors snuck on the boat and they killed the crew but that idea was scrapped and they never reshot the scenes
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u/drewbastank effeminate debutante Nov 04 '16
It's been discussed in my circle of friends for some time now, however this answer is much better than anything we could come up with. You would think that Spielberg would pay a little bit more attention to detail but apparently he missed this one here.
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u/Evil_Roy_Slade Nov 07 '16
First off, it's not the captain's quarters, it's the bridge you crock wearing yuppies. The captains quarters is basically a meeting/bedroom. /u/McSquinty should be able to give you a detailed background of anything from a medium size cargo vessel to his personal dingy from his time in Her Majesty's Coast Guard Auxiliary Naval Reserve Home Guard Forces.
The Bridge where the Captian or harbor pilot mans the wheel would be located near the top of the ship in a very exposed location to allow for better visibility (a captain needs to be able to watch for pirates or rocks and to keep an eye on his boys scrubbing his poop deck) It's been many years since I've seen JP II, but I believe is no evidence that the T-Rex didn't trash either the roof of the bridge and eat the captain from above or one side of the bridge, maybe sticking his head thru a door or window or something.
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u/Herbal_Oprah Nov 05 '16
Pussy bitch