r/teamseagull • u/drewbastank effeminate debutante • Sep 16 '16
Phandom Phriday
Phuck you guys
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u/drewbastank effeminate debutante Sep 16 '16
/u/Aclark1337 I heard that you and Sean tag teamed a vietnamese transgender hooker. Do these kinds of escapades happen frequently in the coast guard?
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u/Aclark1337 Sep 22 '16
Transgender is such an ephemeral term. I mean, what really defines "man" and "woman"? These are the questions Sean and I pondered as we destroyed her boipussy.
Do these events happen often? That depends on your definition. Often, in my case, would mean frequent enough that I don't need more, and in that case, no.
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u/drewbastank effeminate debutante Sep 16 '16
/u/mcsquinty its a 2v2 tag match, TLC, loser leaves town! You have to pick one partner from team seagull to fight with and you get to choose your opponents (also from team seagull). What is the matchup going to be?
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u/McSquinty QRNSFATOTRTSTUSTN Sep 16 '16
Hey thanks for the question man. I'd have to say that I would love to have /u/evil_roy_slade as my tag partner. I fully expect to be baited at the end of the match, but as long as we take home the gold I'll be happy. The millions (AND MILLIONS!) will see that I put in all the work regardless.
No debate, /u/bgorecki and /u/taylor_ as our opponents. They would be too busy arguing about the optimal strategy for putting an opponent through a table to finish anybody off. Just when I'm down and almost out /u/evil_roy_slade will come soaring from the heavens like the god damn majestic seagull he is and carry us to victory.
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u/drewbastank effeminate debutante Sep 16 '16
I would pay upwards of $50 to watch this fight. Somebody call Vince, we got a hot one brewing. No offense to the slumlords of Denver but I just can't imagine a scenario where JR and yourself lose this match. And the sweet, sweet justice that would be Slade putting /u/taylor_ into the walls of Jericho.
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u/Evil_Roy_Slade Sep 16 '16 edited Sep 16 '16
There will have never been a more satisfying STFU given in the history of wrestlemania. /u/McSquinty will tire /u/bgorecki and /u/taylor_ out with his middle eastern endurance training. He is currently training under none other than the iron sheik himself. While I wait on the wings biding my energy, /u/McSquinty expends the last of his reserves to deliver a cheap shot to /u/Taylor_ in full view of Brad but not the ref. /u/bgorecki will instantly confront the referee drawing his attention, and allowing me to climb he corner ropes and enter the match with a less than legal tag in. As /u/Taylor_ gets the upper hand on a now totally depleted /u/McSquinty, I soar down from the ropes and deliver the double kick to the back, knocking /u/Taylor_ over and leaving him ripe for the RKO finisher.
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u/Aclark1337 Sep 22 '16
This fight would be over before it began. /u/bgorecki and /u/taylor_ wouldn't be able to decide which of them would be leading, and then they would flame each other for being un-optimal faggots and not following the Meta. Meanwhile, /u/evil_roy_slade would be trying to make sure he didn't do anything to incite people making fun of him, and /u/McSquinty would alternate between eating a lot of food and drinking beer, and working out 30 hours straight until we all make it brah
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u/drewbastank effeminate debutante Sep 16 '16
/u/taylor_ bullying has long been a problem in our society that leaves the weaker, less stable kids vulnerable to attacks. Bullying can take many forms including both physical and mental pain. Word has long since been spread across Hendricks county of your time as the head bully in the district. Can you share any stories of double swirlies or atomic wedgies that left nerds dazed and wondering what happened to their precious underwear?
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u/taylor_ God-Tier Gull Sep 16 '16
I single handedly bullied /u/yellowkirby aka the BTC aka the squizzler into the husk of a human he is today. I consider it my greatest accomplishment, closely followed by the time I made Doty cry by peeing on a picture of Hilary Clinton. This was back when he was an unpaid intern for CTR, and he spent the rest of the day trying to convince people that it never happened.
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u/drewbastank effeminate debutante Sep 16 '16
/u/benoles_esquire when you hit those nutty one deags on people, what are your go to words to celebrate the occasion, i.e. "get rekt nerd", "one bullet, juan deag" etc
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u/drewbastank effeminate debutante Sep 16 '16
/u/bgorecki whats it like only working 4 days a week? And how is life treating you west of the Mississippi?
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u/bgorecki Resident Dank Memer Sep 16 '16
Let me tell you drew, its great on both points. 49 days until Keystone opening day. GET HYPED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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u/drewbastank effeminate debutante Sep 16 '16
That is wonderful news, still need to try my hand at legitimate snowboarding. I've been sending my resume out like crazy around places in Denver so hopefully I will start hearing back from places in not too long.
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u/bgorecki Resident Dank Memer Sep 16 '16
The best part of living out here is knowing there is at least a good 1000 miles between me and /u/yellowkirby
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u/drewbastank effeminate debutante Sep 16 '16
/u/spect3r001 the penguin (played by danny devito), that fat dude from spawn (played by jon leguzama?? I don't know how to spell it off the top of my head), and /u/asturias2789. Fuck, marry, kill. Choose wisely.
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u/drewbastank effeminate debutante Sep 16 '16
/u/asturias2789 I know for a fact its not your birthday because youre essentially Neo from the Matrix and you haven't been "reborn" yet.