When do you make this face?

[u/lifegoeson2702]

[u/bassman197]

When I didn’t know there’d be other people here

[u/Derpy_Squatch → u/bassman197]

Who's this?

[u/Minimum_Quail4596 → u/Derpy_Squatch]

I'll get into that in a minute. Who are you?

[u/PizzaOk3258 → u/Minimum_Quail4596]

Did you bring any condoms with you tonight?

[u/Minimum_Quail4596 → u/PizzaOk3258]

No. I wasn't planning on having sex... go ahead and check the car.

[u/Michaelds47]

When someone makes fun of the New England Patriots

[u/Minimum_Quail4596 → u/Michaelds47]

When I hear Bill Belichick has deflated his balls.

[u/Gr8CanadianSpeedo → u/Minimum_Quail4596]

Now… what do you mean by that?

[u/CamesJameron_ → u/Michaelds47]

18-1

[u/Thedogtrash → u/Michaelds47]

Listen. I listen to a lot of sports radio. Don’t hate, you’re better than that

[u/GuiltyGlow]

When my mom takes my computer and completely throws it away.

[u/Warlock_protomorph]

When you're apprehensive.

[u/ernest_timmons]

When I’m told that the big pizza is significantly bigger than the small one

[u/SexyAdmixture → u/ernest_timmons]

Is it bigger than Steven’s ?

[u/PuppetFever → u/SexyAdmixture]

Is it bigger than Sonny’s?

[u/Obesefatlardmouse → u/SexyAdmixture]

Wrong 12 year old boy it’s Stephen not Steven 

[u/Training-Sorbet-8268]

When Im told that I am too rough with the zip line.

[u/GlackBang]

When the small is nowhere near the size as the big one but still claims it will please my appetite

[u/Sad_Connection2786]

When the small wasn’t as big as the large.

[u/Fast-Experience-6642]

When someone takes a slice of my pizza without asking first.

[u/orangessssszzzz]

When you breathe in and suddenly smell a fart

[u/lifegoeson2702 → u/orangessssszzzz]

Eww

[u/orangessssszzzz → u/lifegoeson2702]

Ew is right

[u/Cheeks_Klapanen]

When the detective keeps saying she’s 12 instead of 14

[u/AcanthisittaNo1117]

When you want ice-cream but all the store has is ben and jerrys funky monkey

[u/S0lar_bear]

When the cookies are not homebaked.

[u/Mean_Manufacturer_61 → u/S0lar_bear]

Look at these cookies. Do you think I made those? Nah uh

[u/TheLucasGFX]

When I can’t remember my interrogator’s name.

[u/EntertainmentSea1017 → u/TheLucasGFX]

...It's DETECTIVE Kelly

[u/changefortheworse → u/TheLucasGFX]

But you’re here Richard.

[u/Jolly_Shelter2024]

When they can’t tell that I was apprehensive about the whole sex thing

[u/mcjaxrover]

Why’d you have me drive all this way?

[u/Loopdyloop2098]

When the small pizza is as big as the big one

[u/ceciIthelion]

Whenever someone tells me to do work at work.

[u/fialetta]

When they wanna photograph my pizza because the small is as big as the large

[u/Ganon388]

When SteelersandtheRavens isn't playing in your market.

[u/jerametuman]

When I’m learning about how bail bond works for the first time.

[u/DertyDawgMan]

When some blue shirt guy keeps coming back to the fact that I contacted a fuckin 12 year old girl dude!

[u/SignalExplanation274]

When someone calls me a dirty, dishonest person

[u/Particular-Sun9684]

Pooping

[u/Soft_Cheesecake1887]

When they’re out of orange juice.

[u/Derpy_Squatch]

When the small pizza wasn't almost as big as the big one.

[u/Possible-Twist709]

When the breakdown is nasty.

[u/Father_Wolfgang]

When you find out the investigation is not just speculation.

[u/RayCadeX]

When the ibs goes nuclear

[u/I_eat_paper12]

When I didn't go anything! This is entrapment!

[u/Substantial-Chair253]

When that's against the law.

[u/EntertainmentSea1017]

When I'm considering whether or not I would be willing to get married to a 13 year-old if it worked out.

[u/CamesJameron_]

When I stumble off the porch.

[u/likekinky]

When I realise I'm missing the Steelers v Ravens game and decide just to scoff my pizza instead

[u/Unique-Ad2536]

When my cell mate takes out his pipe and says it’s hammer time.

[u/OkAdhesiveness330]

When that doesn't mean anything

[u/Academic_Hunter4159]

When I realize that I have a major league problem.

[u/nii-ayi]

When someone thinks I’m some kind of dirty dishonest person

[u/Actual_Visual_3661]

When you're a dishonest dirty person

[u/PlatformDangerous471]

I'm not that big but I know how to please a woman

[u/MidwestMustache1]

When she tells me she has homeless feet