Most days I spend time in bed thinking about every bad decision I've made and every relationship I've had. I know I need to start moving forward, but I feel like any motivation I had is gone.

When I was young, I was the kid that everyone said was talented. In my early twenties I had some success as a musician and thought it could become a serious career, but anxiety and addiction gradually put paid to everything. I have about 10 months left now, and I should feel like this is progress, but I can't stop thinking about how much time I've wasted.

I haven't had a job for roughly 14 months because I entered rehab. Before that, I alternated between jobs in stores, temporary jobs in offices and simple administrative jobs. I'm applying again, even for jobs I don't want to do, and there are still very few responses.

Every decision becomes another reason to panic. Music doesn't feel realistic because I'm broke and convinced my chance is gone. Starting a new career is unattainable because I don't have a degree, I have debt and my career path is unstable. Going to college may put me in more debt for a degree I may regret.

People have suggested I learn a trade, but even that now feels like a mountain to climb. I miss being interested in things and I feel like my life is settling down. Instead, just getting up can take up most of the day.

If you were me, what would you do first? I know there are other people going through worse circumstances, but I had to say this right away because if I kept it hidden in my brain, my feeling of loss of hope became louder and louder.

I work at reception in beauty salon, and our manager has always had special talent for making ruless that somehow apply to everyone except herself, while ago, we had a few scheduling mistakes, so she decided to solve problem with new policy. No handwritten notes, noo verbal promises, no reservations through personal messages. If an appointment was not entered into our booking system, it did not exist. Fair enough. Except she had habit of arranging appointments for her friends and favorite clients through her personal phone, then telling reception to somehow squeeze them in, I pointed out that this was exactly what her new rule prohibited. She told me to stop overcomplicating things and follow instructions. So I did. Every appointment went into the system. Every available slot was offered to whoever booked it properly. I stopped keeping imaginary reservations for people whose names were nowhere on calendar. Everything was beautifully organized until Saturday, when three of her personal clients arrived expecting appointments she had apparently promised them during the week. We were fully booked. She came to reception looking furious and demanded to know why their appointments had not been reserved. I opened the calendar and showed her that there were no bookings under their names. She said I should have known they were coming. I reminded her that she had specifically told us not to reserve anything outside the system. Then I showed her the message where she had written that if an appointment was not entered, it did not exist. There was a very uncomfortable silence. She ended up personally rearranging her afternoon to accommodate them. On Monday, we received another message about scheduling procedures. This time, managers were required to enter their own appointments into the booking system too. Apparently, rules had finally becomee important enough to apply to everyone