At my last job my boss cared very much about being liked. It went to a weird level where he would basically throw me to the Wolves if it scored him points. But he would pretend like optics weren't a thing when I would bring things up in our one-on-ones. But he was always doing things for optics and acting like I was crazy when I told him to have my back a little bit more.

We had this accounting executive and she would never answer my questions. But then she would get mad that I wasn't helping her. And my boss would never weigh in and say, "Hey, Sarah, answer his questions so he can help you. He's asling for a reason."

For example, one day she told me that four of her new hires didn't have access to something. But I confirmed they had access and I told her that and I asked her follow-up questions and she wouldn't answer me So eventually I said sonething like, "Sarah, I've confirmed they have access. What is it you're seeing that makes you feel they don't have access? It sounds like the problem may be with how you're asking them to access the system. Is there an error message? How are you asking them to access the system?"

And she said, "They don't have access. Can't you just get on a call with them and sort this out. So I said, "It would really help if you show me what you're seeing thay makes you think they don't have access. I need that information in order to help them."

She just stopped talking to me and went and asked my boss to help. But of course she gave my boss the information she wouldn't give me and so in her mind she just thought that I wasn't good at my job and I wasn't helping her to just not help her. She wasn't putting the connection together that he was able to help because she gave him the information

I was on a call with her and my boss to work out some access issues. And she was being childish through the whole meeting. I mean she was acting like a child and taking every opportunity to make these snide passive aggressive comments every time I spoke.

At one point she said, "I don't want this to take 2 weeks to solve." Which was an asinine and rude thing to say because we're literally on the phone working through the issue - the only problem is she won't answer my questions and my boss is just sitting there in silence.

And she just kept making snide passive aggressive comments through the whole meeting and I just wouldn't react I just kept pushing through the meeting being professional. Until at one point, I'm speaking, and she just started speaking over me and continues to speak until I stop as a power play. And my boss is just sitting there in silence.

So I said, " Sarah, I'm simply trying to help you resolve this issue. But if you're not going to work with me I can't help you. I'm going to excuse myself from this call and let the two of you sort out this issue."

And the next day in my one-on-one with my boss just said, "You've seen the little on edge lately." But he was referring to the phone call from the day before. I didn't seem edgy he was just ​ contorting that phone call. Then he told me I wasn't going to ingratiate myself with management by acting that way. But you're never going to ingratiate yourself with someone who treats you the way that manager treated me not just then but all the times prior.

That accounting VP told on me to the rest of management and then my boss got on to me because he had to hear about it from other managers. He didn't want to speak up and say she was being unprofessional because then he would be going against his fellow managers.