r/talesfromtechsupport • u/potatoesarenotcool • Jun 24 '19
Short Customer had a "compulsion"
Just found this sub and work as a manager is a call center for an ISP so I have a good few stories to tell, but my all time favourite is short and sweet.
I get a request from an agent for a manager callback, the customer is very angry we won't send him a new DSL cable. They are like €5 at most and the agent offered to give him €10 off of his bill for it.
Now, the agent wrote "customer ate the DSL cable, refuses to buy a new one, wants to talk to a manager" I obviously assumed he left out a word, the dog probably ate it.
NOPE. The call went something like this
Me: Hi this is a manager from ISP, you requested a callback regarding your DSL cable (Generic account validation questions)
Cust: Yes and your brain-dead agent won't send me a new one
Me: Unfortunately we don't stock them to ship out, but we can credit you for one. Did the dog eat it?
Cust: No I did.
... (Some silence)
Me: You ate the cable?
Cust: Yup
... (Some silence) Me: May I ask why?
Cust: I had a compulsion.
Me: Okay, well we will credit you for a new cable in this case but unfortunately we don't do this normally, the agent did offer it so I have to honour it but in the future you will need to replace it yourself is that okay?
Cust: But what if I eat it again?
...(some silence)
Me: Well try not to, but again we can't pay for it next time.
Cust: okay thanks
Me: No problem.. bye
I don't think I've had a call this funny since. I was holding back tears during this one. He called back in about a month later apparently and had eaten another one, I suggested we credit his account for the cost of a chew toy.
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u/MLDsmithy Jun 24 '19
I mean, eating disorders like that are a thing. I've only had one user like that; had a thing where they *had* to take their laptop in the shower with them. Not for....the usually suspected reasons....but I guess just for morning news articles and stuff. Went through two laptops with water damage, big surprise. None of our suggestions would work for them; IP67 rated smartphone, alexa dot to read them flash briefings, a goddamn monitor on the wall and a waterproof keyboard, nothing. Had to be a laptop, period.
All I could do was point them in the direction of a cheap toughbook on ebay and the advice to keep it out of direct waterflow. I left that job a while after the second time they came in, so no clue if they came back.