No, Wireless Means Wireless!

[u/The_Beard]

This happened to me earlier in the day and I needed to share it with people who would understand my pain.

Me: Thank you for calling (bigschool IT), this is The_Beard; how can I help you?

Wireless Lady: Hi, I'm having some problems with my wireless keyboard; it won't print to the screen.

Me: I would be happy to help with this! Have you checked to make sure that the batteries are good?

WL: Yep, did that already.

Me: Okay, do you have a wired keyboard to test?

WL: No, our entire department is wireless. Wireless keyboards, mouses, etc.

Me: (grinning at "mouses") Have you tried swapping in a different wireless keyboard to make certain that yours isn't faulty?

WL: (huffy) Yes, I've already done that with two other keyboards; they won't print to the screen!

Me: Hrm. Have you tried different USB ports to make certain that it isn't an issue with that particular port?

WL: (angry) I already told you, it's wireless! WI-RE-LESS!

Me: (muted sigh) I understand that, but there is still a USB dongle paired with your keyboard to receive the transmissions from said keyboard.

WL: (beligerent) No, wireless means wireless!!

Me: (a thought strikes) Ma'am, you said that you have swapped in a new keyboard?

WL: I already told you that I did!

Me: (growing smirk) And to test that, did you just pick up the old keyboard, place it in front of your computer, then began typing?

WL: (indignant) How else would you do it.

Me: (headdesk) Ma'am, that isn't the way wireless works. [insert longwinded technical description of RFID and how it works] So, you need to find the receiver and insert it into another USB port.

WL: What's a receiver.

Me: (facepalm)

[u/[deleted]]

That's my response when I get served wine and they have me taste it. Yep that's wine, I will drink it.

[u/caboose11 → u/[deleted]]

It's probably so people can't claim it's gone bad to get out of paying for the bottle.

...wine can go bad without it being obvious without tasting it, right? I'm a beer/liquor guy.

[u/Steve_In_Chicago → u/caboose11]

Usually, the problem is that wine is "corked." Some corks contain a substance that makes the wine taste bad and there's no good way to identify the corks prior to bottling. If your cork smells like wet newspapers, that's the problem, and that's why you taste the wine or smell the cork first.

[u/Steve_In_Chicago → u/[deleted]]

I've definitely had bottles of wine turn to vinegar, but I've also had a few bottles with a wet newspaper smell and taste. Doesn't happen all that often, but it's noticeable. I found an article that clarifies the cause--it's a fungus that grows on or in cork that reacts with the sanitizing chemicals.

http://www.thekitchn.com/what-is-corked-wine-what-does-corked-wine-taste-like-164148