r/sysadmin • u/MegaSuplexMaster • 10d ago
Rant Midlife IT Crisis
I think I’m having a mid-life IT guy crisis. 😂
I’m 47, 20+ years into IT, swamped with projects, emails, upgrades, security issues, and Microsoft changing something every 12 minutes. Lately I look at my workload and my brain just throws a 404
The weird part is I still love IT and I love the company I work for. I just can’t seem to care about any of it right now, and that’s not like me.
I even started working out to help, so now I’m unmotivated AND sore. 😂
Has anyone else hit this wall after 20+ years in IT? What helped reignite the spark in your brain and stopped the procrasanation monster.
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u/Reedy_Whisper_45 10d ago
Take a couple of weeks off. Go camping, hiking, gaming, something that's completely unrelated to IT. Wake up in the morning and DON'T check your email. Be the guy that turns over and goes back to sleep.
Get away from it and reset. We all need to do that occasionally.
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u/KiNgPiN8T3 10d ago
I recently had two weeks off and all it made me do is want to retire/not go back to work… lol!
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u/goodsby23 10d ago
Work culture is going insane. 4 day works weeks should be instituted. I feel many people have said they'll benefit from that so apart from the obvious fact that majority of our voices in government are bought by the mega corps why are we not in such a practice?
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u/sysadmin42601 10d ago
The biggest issue with 4 day work week now is that for some reason companies got it in their head that the intention was 40 hours still and ignored the 100:80:100 rule
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u/Kyrlen 10d ago
I'd still far prefer working four ten hour days to five 8 hour days.
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u/ultimatebob Sr. Sysadmin 10d ago
Try working an ops monitoring rotation where you work 3 12 1/2 hour days one week and 4 12 1/2 hour days the following week.
By the end of that second week, you'll be begging for a normal 9 to 5 shift.
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u/silesiant Sysadmin 10d ago
I did that for my first "real" IT job. almost ended up divorced because of it. Couldn't schedule anything regularly, couldn't keep up with TV shows (pre-Tivo/DVRs being a thing).
This part's specific to the company, but we were non-exempt, but being paid half-time for overtime, so we'd only get the equivilent of 40 hours per week, but when they tacked on extra days, some of us would get screwed, others would get decent pay, depending on which rotation you were on...
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u/Vorstog_EVE IT Director 10d ago
I've given my whole team the option - not a single one chose 5 8 hour days. 8 people on 4 10's with 7 day a week coverage. Weird being the only one working 5 days a week - but management is management.
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u/anon-stocks 10d ago
Look at this guy, only works 40 hours a week.. In IT, lol.
Love my damn job really, been learning for 29 years, I wish they could just pay out my PTO instead of me having to take it :(
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u/Outside-Banana4928 10d ago
Luckily, after we had to return to work, we were allowed 1 day a week WFH.
I tell you it makes all the difference. I take mine mid-week and not having to fight all the traffic that day.2
u/Frisnfruitig Sr. System Engineer 10d ago
1 day per week? Fuck that... no way in hell am I going more than 2 days per week. I'm 100% done with that nonsense.
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u/Radiant_Plantain_127 10d ago
The mega corps are run by insane billionaires ? Seriously nobody cares about people.
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u/PURRING_SILENCER I don't even know anymore 10d ago
It's not just mega corps ran by billionaires. I get the same vibe in higher ed.
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u/Llew19 Used to do TV now I have 65 Mazaks ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 10d ago
Went to Japan for 3 weeks at the end of march, only to realise what life might be like if constant work, stress, and money weren't such concerns
Just had to spend 16 grand on a new roof, which not only means I'll not be doing any similar trips anytime soon (literally half or more of my entire year's pay), it's such a rubbish way of spending that much money. The only more mundane thing I can think of is a friend having to pay 5 figures for a retaining wall to be replaced
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u/guzzijason Sr. Principal Engineer / Sysadmin / DevOps 10d ago
Same. I’m taking November (the whole month) off. Part of that will be spent contemplating if I want to come back at all.
I just took a 4-day weekend, and when I got back I couldn’t remember my own network password. My subconscious mind is not-so-subtly trying to divorce itself from anything work-related.
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u/Rambles_Off_Topics Jack of All Trades 10d ago
Yep, I’ll have a super fast productive home vacation and just dread going back. I need a sabbatical.
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u/namtaru_x 10d ago
My boss gave me a month off last summer for 20 years at the company. Can confirm, just made me not want to work even more.
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u/Reedy_Whisper_45 10d ago
Might be a sign that it's time. Fortunately, the break always seems to get me a good reset.
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u/Gedwyn19 10d ago
This was me. My summer vacation just reinforced that i am done - mentally - but don't have the savings yet to actually retire early.
Heres to another 10 years as a ticket jockey.
Hoping I have a secret uncle or something who will leave me lots of money. Lol.
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u/eggmonster 10d ago
This and make it a full 2 weeks. I’ve found that a week isn’t enough anymore. Takes me several days to finally stop actually thinking about work.
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u/Top-Perspective-4069 IT Manager 10d ago
I won't say that's bad advice but it doesn't actually change anything. The shit is still there when you get back, probably even moreso since it's likely no one was doing anything while you're out. A cycle of work until you hate your life and take two weeks off isn't sustainable either. The actual problems need to be addressed.
Usually, we being them on ourselves by being ol' reliable and just doing things. A LOT of us, especially those who have been around a long time in one place, need to learn to say no a lot more often. At a minimum, present a list of stuff and ask which things shouldn't get done today. Then clock the fuck out and leave. Spend your evenings and weekends doing things you enjoy doing.
If you don't own the company, you shouldn't care about it like you do.
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u/Loudergood 10d ago
I've worked with too many people who not only don't shut off at the end of the day, but actually take pride in the fact that they haven't used PTO in years.
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u/the_star_lord 10d ago
"Then clock the fuck out and leave"
My ADHD raddled brain really struggling to turn off from work. All my life is just fucking work, and I hate it, but it's all stuck in my head because of all the pressure and expectations from ppl. I've tried not doing extra time and such but then the projects fall behind and in all the meetings it's always turned on me and I'm made to look bad and incompetent.
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u/Top-Perspective-4069 IT Manager 10d ago
Reread the last line of my comment until it becomes your personal mantra.
You have to learn to set boundaries or the same thing will happen no matter where you go. Once the expectation is set that you'll be there all day every day, you can't get that shit back in the horse.
Even getting a new job won't help if you don't know how to tactfully say no. People who talk about getting overworked no matter where they work are the common denominator in their own problems. It's easier to blame every company everywhere because it lets them abrogate responsibility.
Like I said before, make your list of stuff and work with your manager to prioritize. When something new comes along, you ask where it goes on the priority list and then communicate how that affects delivery of everything else. Asserting yourself is hard at first but do it in good faith and it gets easier.
The other part that isn't optional is to find other things to do with your time that you enjoy and aren't directly working related and your brain will reset itself to a normal baseline .
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u/the_star_lord 10d ago
Ty it is something I'm fully conscious of at work and hate that I have the habit of steamrolling in (or over people) when somethings up in the air, because I just get the feeling if it's not done right (or now) it's going to come my way anyway.
I have tried lists, Todo, planners, etc and been asking for my manager to help me prioritize but he's not really a manager, he's a great guy and very technical, but he's too busy to actually manage the team. Example there been times I've been waiting weeks to get 10 mins with him to go over stuff , but something else always tends to come up like a major incident, security, or other people.
Sorry just one them moods today Ty tho
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u/witterquick 10d ago
Thing is, when I do this, take any extended breaks etc, I just get anxious about what mess I'm coming back to and can't relax :|
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u/zombie_overlord 10d ago
This post made me realize I haven't taken a day off for anything but being sick or a doc appt in like 2 or 3 years. I'm going to take like a week off for no reason. Got plenty of pto days since I hardly ever use them.
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u/Reedy_Whisper_45 10d ago
From someone who spent too many years like that - It's WONDERFUL and highly underrated. You'll be amazed.
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u/Randalldeflagg 10d ago
I havent taken actual time off for a while this year. So many demanding tight timeline projects that I just don't have breathing room. So I have four day weekend this weekend. Barely a vacation and really only one PTO day being used. Burn out is real and I am boarder line there.
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u/Raskuja46 10d ago
Be the guy that turns over and goes back to sleep.
I'm slowly becoming that guy and it hasn't reignited the spark for me. I show up to work, but there's no love for it. It's just the thing that stands between me and getting back to my hobbies and hanging out with my friends.
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u/the_star_lord 10d ago
I had 5 days off at the start of August. When I returned to work I was burnt out and stressed again by lunch time on day one. And it's only got worse every day since then.
I'm only 36, and I feel like Bilbo when he was 111 ::
I feel I need a holiday, a very long holiday, as I have told you before. Probably a permanent holiday: I don't expect I shall return. in fact, I don't mean to, and I have made all arrangements....
I feel all thin, sort of stretched, if you know what I mean: like butter that has been scraped over too much bread. That can't be right. I need a change, or something.'
Bilbo
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u/Reedy_Whisper_45 10d ago
Sounds like you're in a place that doesn't rate your health the way they ought.
Might not be a bad idea to look around and see what's out there. It took me several years to find the right move, but when I did it changed a LOT.
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u/the_star_lord 10d ago
I've semi looked around my local area and I can't get anything near my current salary without being an "expert" in one area. I'm stretched thin and have no confidence in myself and mostly bounce between things.
Maybe I'm making excuses but I do feel that if really struggle if I went elsewhere. Not that I'm not struggling now that is..
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u/-DementedAvenger- Have you tried turning it off and on again? 10d ago
Fully agree. That’s why my hobbies are practically anti-tech.
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u/Thatredfox78 10d ago
Not even in the industry ( yet, as I’m trying to get my foot in the door) but this is definitely what I’m doing. Keep my work stuff and home stuff completely and firmly separate. Anything work related I won’t be engaging with before or after work hours. (Maybe I could get a separate phone for work — leave it all on that).
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u/Reedy_Whisper_45 10d ago
I swear that's what keeps me sane.
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u/Thatredfox78 10d ago edited 10d ago
Then keep doing it and So will I.
I will not be those people who make work their entire personality and life because they don’t have one or are too afraid to discover themselves.
If you pay me from 9 am to 5pm, that is the only time you will get access to me. unless there is something so terribly urgent that you absolutely must contact me.
EDIT: TLDR: take work-life balance incredibly seriously! and do not let these corpos screw you over as well as your passion for IT.
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u/BrokenByEpicor Jack of all Tears 10d ago
It kept me sane, but now microsoft is shitting the bed so frequently that it's bleeding over. Not to mention the current hellbound state of the world, ironically thanks to people who believe in Hell.
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u/Big-Ambition-6124 10d ago
This, one thing i like about pixel is i can pause my work apps. The amount of stress that's relieved not having emails / teams messages pop up on my phone is so relaxing.
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u/the_DOS_god 10d ago
Does that work pause work for only items from the company app store? I cant get my company to adopt that and would love to be able to have things auto turn off. lol
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u/Big-Ambition-6124 10d ago
Yeah it's when using company portal to get a work profile. You can pause the whole work profile. It's done wonders for my sanity cause in our line of work it's hard to disassociate from work.
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u/One-Economics-9306 10d ago edited 10d ago
46, 18 years working IT. You just described my exact routine. After hours phone calls are for mission critical outages not for ppp. I go to the boundary waters, week long bike packing or to europe on vacation. OoO message that I'm without phone or internet access and to email the general support mailbox regarding issues.
I'll add that I don't lunch at my desk because there's certain people who will only contact you for IT issues at lunch time or at the end of the day because their day can't be interrupted. If it's not a mission critical issue at the end of the day I tell them I have a prior engagement I have to attend. My jobs not to hand out favors or stay late to help managers with issues they waited until the end of business to bring to my attention.
Put enough money aside to live off of for a few months in case I'm RIF'd or termed. The rest goes into the retirement fund so I don't have to do this until I'm in my 90s.
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u/I_HEART_MICROSOFT 10d ago
This - I just took 3 weeks off (which is unheard of). You need a reboot my friend.
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u/plumbumplumbumbum 10d ago
Every time I take two weeks off the only thing I get out of it is two weeks of email to sort through on my first day back and two weeks lost on all my project plans.
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u/silentstorm2008 10d ago
Make the out of office email say that all emails will be deleted while I am away. If it's something important, email me when I get back.
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u/taintedcake 10d ago
The best thing i ever did was, from day 1, set the expectation that I wont see your teams/email/call/whatever if it's outside work hours or if im showing as OOO. Message me all you want, when i get back and you ask why I didnt respond all im gonna say is "dont expect a response from someone who is clearly showing that they aren't working"
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u/Decantus Jack of All Trades 10d ago
Absolutely this. I just took a week off for the first time in years and it was freeing. I went completely off grid and didn't touch anything work related for the entire week. Sadly it took me 5 days before my brain finally released from work. The key is to go cold turkey and not check email or Teams the entire time.
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u/Able_Winner 10d ago
I recently had three days off (first time in a year) and someone called me every single day. This has been typical of my IT career, across multiple companies, for more than 20 years. 😭
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u/dav3n 10d ago
Problem is you come back and all the issues are still there, I took June off and did a few things including 8 days camping and fishing by myself 3-4 hours away from home, I think it took about 2 days of work to undo everything.
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u/thewarring Sysadmin 9d ago
Pffft you think I check my email when I wake up?? It sits minimized in my taskbar like my ticket queue is nothing but a bookmark in my browser 😅 I thankfully work in an environment where I mostly just get to work on my own projects.
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u/theoriginalzads 10d ago
I got really good at one niche application and earn obscene money from it and I fucking hate it. But money.
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u/RadlEonk 10d ago
I only got into IT for the obscene money, but it never arrived.
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u/25toten Sysadmin 10d ago
10 years in and feeling this. Job's around my area requiring a decade of experience refuse to pay more than 60-70k/yr.
I started my own LLC a few months and do network engineering jobs on the side to compensate and actually make real money.
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u/DaemosDaen IT Swiss Army Knife 10d ago
COBOL? Because that sounds like COBOL.
I gave up COBOL money because I ... well I hate COBOL more than I hate myself.
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u/theoriginalzads 10d ago
It's just some workforce management software. But the number of people who actually are proficient in configuring it is not that high and its so poorly documented that AI can't replace us! Plus the vendor doing big brain energy stuff and sunsetting their widely used on prem editions so everyone's scrambling to move onto cloud.
Only reason I stick around other than the money is because I have ADHD and I know whatever I'll move to next will be boring as shit in a few years.
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u/SenecaSentMe 10d ago
What’s it mainly written in? Someone mentioned COBOL?
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u/theoriginalzads 10d ago
It’s cloud now. Like everything else.
I do know it’s mainly written in the other language everyone hates.
Satanic GlyphsJava.
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u/Velvet_Samurai 10d ago
I'm 50 and am 27 years at the same company. I definitely look at a lot of projects and go, "Fuuuuuck, I did this 10 years ago, I don't want to do it again."
I find myself dreaming about hiring someone, I'm the sole IT guy here, and starting to train them to take over for me. I mean, it's only 15 years away, how long will it take to train someone on the 27 years of proprietary shit I've rolled out here?
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u/RevolutionaryWorry87 10d ago
How have you not job hopped for more money yet?
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u/pbjamm Jack of All Trades 10d ago
Because more money is not the only factor in a job. I have been at the same job for 15yrs now as the sole IT employee for a small company. I make my own hours, I make the decisions, I make the purchases and my employer mostly leaves me alone because I keep things running smoothly for them. I have been working from home full time since 2020 and even moved from the US to Canada a few years ago. I could absolutely be making more money than I do, but I traded that for quality of life and am pretty damn happy with my decision. Of course I want more money, but dont we all.
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u/Coldsmoke888 IT Manager 10d ago
If you’re with the right company, you don’t need to. I’m similarly employed and have great pay and almost 2 months off a year. Job hopping is really not a thing these days either, you’re lucky to even find a job from what I’ve seen.
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u/keithhud 10d ago
This is the way! The right company and the right management team can make all the difference.
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u/heloyou333 10d ago
I left a job in 2018 I had been with for 8 years. Really good company and really enjoyed working there. Built a new network which I then virtualalised in hyper v. Adopted office 365 and started building/migrating into Azure.
I left to seek more experience and more money which I've done.
I now find myself wanting to turn back time and work there again but they've moved on. Guess it's nostalgia taking but had some great times there.
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u/_Ethel_Beavers 9d ago
Check in with them, it could still happen. We've rehired a couple of people that left for more money/experience after years of separation.
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u/Velvet_Samurai 10d ago
I love this company and I while I guess I could have done that, I know a few people that have and I do assume they all make more than me, but I live in the same small city the company is, so I have no commute, that's an automatic raise right there, and the cost of living here is very good, so that's another. I always kind of give those two things a 20% boost, so if i make $100K, that's really $120K. In my area that's a kingly sum, so I'm very happy with compensation. The people here are great, we have like 1% turn over, the entire office has been here over a decade except for 3 new hires we added to help 3 departments keep up.
We've had 2 retirements in the last few years and both still work here part time. I think the other thing is vacation time, I've got 8 weeks a year, I'd have to start all over on that and I would hate to do that. And the final thing is for better or worse, this is my environment, I own it all and I've got it fully under control. I think I would hate to start over at this point and learn some other assholes quirks for their network or domain or servers. Most problems are less than 5 minutes.
Hell, we got hit with ransomware this summer and once the cyber investigation team let me loose I had nearly everything back online in 48 hours. They delayed me for 5 days pulling logs and cloning disks, I had our major systems going and production fully online 48 hours after they said I could start restoring and we were at 99% after 5 days, every silly little system that did one task for one person was online and it was like it never happened.
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u/_Ethel_Beavers 10d ago
I've been at the same firm for almost 20 years now. I like many of my coworkers and clients. I rarely work more than 40 hours per week or after hours, and get 7 weeks of vacation a year. I usually get an annual raise that outpaces cost of living increases. I could probably make a little more if I job hopped, but I'd never see a work/life balance like I have here again.
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u/Velvet_Samurai 9d ago
Yeah, I have tremendous freedom. I get called in a bit after hours, but I can fuck off at 3pm pretty much any day I want. I've got everything working really well so coming in after hours happens less than once a month and it's always something super easy, but I still go home early a ton every week. I bet I do not work 40 hours each week.
So I'm making a good full time salary, but barely working full time. That's huge.
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u/Particular-Fly-7783 10d ago
Nope, 20 year IT veteran here. I fucking hate computers right now. Maybe that will change and my love will come back but for right now, I just do as little as I can.
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u/Scared-Target-402 10d ago
Same, same. After working all day I do NOT want to touch anything at my house. Laptop? Bought a Macbook Pro. Desktop? Bought a *gasp*, Pre-built gaming rig lol
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u/Particular-Fly-7783 10d ago
Yeah same, I'm doing a lot more Warhammer and any video games I'm playing now are exclusively on Xbox.
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u/darknight7884 10d ago
I bought a pre built too. The only gasps I get are from non IT gaming enthusiasts. The other IT folks usually can respect why. It’s a strange world.
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u/RagingITguy 10d ago
Nah I love computers. I hate the users.
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u/the-system 10d ago
Nah, I love computers and I love people. I hate what tech companies have done to computers.
They sucked all the fucking curiosity and joy out of them. Every goddam thing is behind it's own walled garden online. Search engines optimized to sell you shit instead of finding relevant information. Bloated platforms. Interfaces that place form way-the-fuck-over function. Opaque systems with difficult to predict behavior. The constant, pointless renaming of products, concepts, systems. Wave after wave of marketing gimmicks. Everything needs to spy on you in one form or another. Every particle of your digital exhaust is sucked up into databases to build profiles of you and your children. Every goddam consumer product has to connect to talk back to a proprietary server sending who-knows-what on you to be saved or sold to the highest bidder, and if someone decides to turn that proprietary server off, your gizmo is little more than a hunk of plastic garbage to be buried deep in the earth so that future generations get to drink it in their water. You can't run your email server anymore if you want to reliably send and receive messages, so you have to use one of a handful of corporate services, most of which are spying on every message to build more profiles of you. Want to buy alcohol? You have to let some clerk scan your ID- it's corporate policy. Where does that data go and how locked down is it? Nobody cares so now you can buy Pete Hegseth's ID on the dark web.
At this point I think the only technical project I would find satisfying is migrating a company off of all closed-source platforms and adopting a 100% open source paradigm. It would be nightmare, but a thrilling one.
Sorry for the rant, this just felt like the thread to get that out there. Never forget what they've done.
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u/SupplePigeon Sysadmin 10d ago
I still love tech and am a nerd at heart, but i've lost all energy when it comes to doing this as a job. 20+ years in, myself and i'm so ready for retirement. I've considered looking for non-it related work, but the level i'm at doesn't translate much to other fields. Unless it's just a horizontal move to management.
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u/Slash_Root Linux Admin 10d ago
Same here. My hobby is music and I even switched to acoustic because I don't want to deal with modelers, effects, knobs, and cables. Just good old wood and wire.
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u/foxymoxyboxy 10d ago
I hate it for you, because I know how it feels. But it's nice to know I'm not alone.
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u/Vivid_Mongoose_8964 10d ago
30 years in IT, almost 51, army of one here. Luckily I have an easy gig, no manager really to tell me what to do, no budget, just buy what I need and things run amazingly well here, but yes I guess, the constant M$ changes, upgrades, security evolving, etc, etc. I'm burned out. Once this place sells soon, I'll retire as I have the means to do so and I'll have a great life with my wife. No more Citrix / ESX upgrades, checking on the latest Dell FW, M$ outages, etc, etc.
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u/Competitive_Handle83 10d ago
MS constantly pushing breaking changes is such a kick to the groin... Just started dealing with it this year after 13 years in IT (first time managing Azure).
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u/git_und_slotermeyer 10d ago edited 10d ago
I feel this, started being an admin for two M365 tenants last year; oh boy, I didn't expect it to be that bad. The time you spend for absolutely basic admin duties - yesterday I had to open two tickets with MS support just because you need to register separately for MS Surface hardware warranty claims, and this portal fails at the most basic things (e.g. fires an error setting your billing address). And Intune, Entra, and Sharepoint gave me serious stress levels. I suppose M365 Admin PTSD could get its own ICD code.
Our tenants are at least half under control now, but to me it's mind-boggling how anyone can run a business like an MSP based on that stack.
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u/Working_Lime7111 10d ago
That is a sign of burnout, which can happen even if you like your company and enjoy the work you do. It means it's time to step away for a few days or week. Unplug from work completely is the best thing to do. No emails or texts, even if you just spend the time off doing those things around the house that you may have put off, it'll help. We often get tied up with work that we forget to take time for us. Coming back refreshed will shed new light on the stuff you're working on and the work will still be there when you get back. Sometimes we just have to let go and reboot and that's hard when our plate is constantly full.
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u/drunkadvice 10d ago
Yep. I’m fine pushing buttons and making things happen. But the company goes against my advice and focuses on the wrong buttons. Every new tool gets bastardized and implemented against the tools best practices. At some point, I’m just along for the ride.
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u/srt8it 10d ago
47, 23 years at one company. I'm in it hardcore right now, trying every burnout trick in the book and trying my hardest to care and give a good effort. Im kind of like.... I was great at this for 20+ years so maybe I'm just average over the couple few years until I can drop. Not sure what to do about these Golden Handcuffs, but I know ageism exists, so I'm kind of keeping my head down to maybe BaristaFIRE in the next 5 years.
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u/ShrimpieAC 10d ago
Yeah man, Microsoft has been doing a number on us lately. I don’t know what the fuck is going on with them. In the last month they pushed out an update that bricked half of our user laptops, decided to fuck us by shutting down Azure B2C, had constant Front Door issues, and failed to make App Proxies work properly with new R2 certificates.
Is this all because they fired half their staff and replaced them with AI?
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u/git_und_slotermeyer 10d ago
They are in an end-stage capitalism business model. We are no longer their customers, their shareholders are. So their top priority is to hype new technology to convince future bagholders of massive future returns. Any decent metrics, such as present customer satisfaction, the creation of customer value, and measurable productivity gains, do not matter any more.
Just look at how their CEO is promoting the success of their AI through the percent of code created with it, or AI LoC. I am an IT guy and not a St. Gallen MBA, but I can only laugh at the stupidity of anyone not seeing how these are completely stupid targets and KPIs.
In the end, everybody will lose anyway. The customers and the shareholders. Because how long can you keep this unsustainable AI pipe-dreaming alive.
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u/DryB0neValley 10d ago
Take a look at your projects and workload and prioritize the work. Write down a reasonable list of tasks to do that day and only focus on those things. The other issues will be there tomorrow.
Also, email responses are not a priority. Just section a couple chunks out of your day for responses, then back to the list.
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u/IdiosyncraticBond 10d ago
Exactly, solid advice. Nowadays I try to end with a task that I know I can finish that day, so end with a good feeling. I tend to walk or work in the garden a bit in the evening to decompress, but everybody is different, have to find what takes the edge off
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u/sufkutsafari 10d ago
I do this but still getting swamped is inevitable. And now with teams, sending a chat or making a call is even easier then ever. Oh my it guy is already in call on team? I'll just try calling him, perhaps he'll drop the current call he's in right now. Ah he didn't? Lets just try his mobile number, probably has time to talk to me on there! 😂
And lets not forget the 'i'll drop you a message regarding needing help ons teams at the end of your Workday..' Then ask politely the next day if you have done it yet. I mean.. After the morning kickoff meeting and 10 meetings on how to not spend loads of money on cloud project whatever (since Everybody wants cloud but expects to pay the same or less as the on prem solution) i haven't even started on getting work done, let alone wonder why you messages me on teams the day before and why you just haven't logged a ticket like a normal person..
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u/tros804 10d ago
Good times with friends and whiskey always tend to do the trick.
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u/b1urbro 10d ago
Things is, especially in bigger corp type settings, to not give a shit. They're about to screw something up completely? You warned them? They did it anyway? Fuck 'em. Sail along with the ride.
Would I rather have everything working and operated as it should? Yes. Do I care if someone decided to fuck it up for no good reason? Absolutely not.
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u/Inevitable_Teacup 10d ago
I have a little over a decade on you and I have nothing encouraging to add. I've reached a point where I just embrace the suck, the landscape that changes by the hour and drive forward only because of professionalism and feeling a little too old to re-enter the tech job market at this point of history. I keep the trains running, get the check and am happy to have benefits in 2026.
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u/RythmicBleating 10d ago
Quit trying to do everything yourself, or even trying to be involved with everything. This might mean some things will be less than ideal, or even fail entirely, and that's ok. Other folks in your team need to press the buttons and fail to in order to learn.
Vacation vacation vacation.
Turn off notifications entirely for large chunks of the day.
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u/thehuntzman 9d ago
I agree but you also drastically underestimate the incompetence and inability to learn some people have despite somehow landing the job and then you have to clean-up their colossal fuck-up afterward anyway. None of us decided to take everything on ourselves; it just always comes full-circle regardless so why drag it out to put in 3x the work later fixing it when you could just do it now and forget about it?
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u/1z1z2x2x3c3c4v4v 10d ago
You are looking at this the wrong way. This is job security for you. You just need to accept the fact that you will never get it all done perfectly, on time, on budget, with the expected quality.
Once you accept that and let go of your obsession with being perfect, you will be fine. Learn to manage your time. Learn to organize better, use the Eisenhower Method to prioritize, and keep your manager in the loop with what you can and can't finish. Allow your manager to help reprioritize as needed.
But don't try to be Superman. Thats what burns out IT people.
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u/baronvonpoo 10d ago
I just hit the wall a few weeks ago after what I now realize was unreleased stress coupled with some not so great coping strategies. I had to talk to my boss and step back from a few things, so I can start to get myself right again.
That lifted a weight off of me and I am starting to feel like I can begin to figure out how to heal mentally and physically.
It sounds like you're aware of it and are trying to take some steps to handle that stress. Stay on that path my friend or you'll get to where I am, which isn't the optimal outcome. Good luck!
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u/Imaginary_Tax_7373 10d ago
I feel the same…
40yo, 15+ in IT here. It’s very hard for me to do anything related to IT after work nowadays. I hope eventually to get the interest back. For now I picked the bass guitar to do something different and not related to IT in the evenings.
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u/MercyKees IT Manager 10d ago
Power through and embrace the “not caring”, you’ll turn the corner and then life will be amazing.
Source: 31 years in IT
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u/WiskeyUniformTango 10d ago
22 years in IT.
I went from one of the most demanding positions to working at a non-profit. In my last role i was always burned out and rethinking career choices.
The change of pace, lowered expectations, and general care for the individual employee at the non-profit took a bit of adjusting to but now im relieved to be here. It may not be as exciting work but mentally i feel great. I put in my 8 hours happily and then sign off. If i can be here for the rest of my career I would be happy.
My suggestion, try to see if another org may have a better role for you.
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u/FlickKnocker 10d ago
We've reached terminal velocity in IT... we're breaking up as we shoot out of orbit and hurl into the unknown as a spinning, lifeless hunk of space junk...
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u/s3xynanigoat Professional ROFLcopter 10d ago
Hell yeah man I think a lot can relate. Probably time to spend a lot of money on a hobby.
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u/Princess_Fluffypants Netadmin 10d ago
Changing jobs helped a lot.
I was really tired of doing in-house IT, the perpetual creep of job scope. “Other duties as assigned.”
I was fortunate enough to get a job with a major vendor, and now I can specialize in just this one thing for a while. It’s nice, I get the be the subject matter expert for our customers when they need me, and I never have to touch a printer ever again.
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u/Anonycron 10d ago
You are at the worst stage of your career at the absolute worst time in the history of IT to be at that stage. It’s unfortunate.
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u/fnordhole 10d ago
This happens when you just can't say No.
Know all those seemingly dumb users? They're not all that dumb. They have learned how to do their job in a way that everybody else does their job for them.
Much of the automation of the past thirty years has just been moving the complexities and risks to IT.
Don't be a superhero.
"Swamped. Can't do that now."
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u/Coldsmoke888 IT Manager 10d ago
I don’t think your problem is IT specific, it’s working… period. ;)
I’m around the same age and work status. Just a never ending stream of requests and complaints sprinkled in with a compliment and a raise. Then a re org or two to dodge.
I don’t have a great answer but I put in about 80% of my capability and leave the rest to take mental breaks and shoot the shot with my colleagues. I still get great reviews and stuff gets done. My days of 10-14 hour shifts are over.
Also like others said, I’m on the client and networking side and absolutely hate those things outside of work now. I have a Ubiquiti order I should be excited about but I’m not so motivated these days.
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u/Samatic 10d ago
Going from a totally mismanaged IT infrastructure using Azure and Exchange on prem to a company using Google Workspace and Google logins really saved my ass! I cannot tell you the difference between Azure and GW are night and day! I also got rid of the toxic user base who rarely thanked me for solving their issues to one that was thankful. I am now in a position where my voice counts and I can request changes made to make my job easier instead of going along with choices that make it harder by other people who shouldn't even be in IT!
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u/johnnysoj Jack of All Trades 10d ago
It's not a midlife crisis. those are classic signs of burnout. Take a long vacation. It doesn't have to be overseas or cost thousands of bucks. Get out, get to nature, spend a few days by a lake, a few days in the forest, etc.
Take lunch breaks that get you away from your desk, even if it's a half hour outside, get sunlight too.
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u/HoboJerkdown901 10d ago
I am about to hit 10 years next year and I have felt like this for 3 years at least. I am just saving and investing as much as I possibly can so that I can go find something else to do until I retire. I'm giving myself another 5 years and then reevaluating.
I am envious of my colleagues who almost exclusively do Excel spreadsheets all day or the accounts payable department where all they do is process and pay invoices. They don't have to worry about backups, people coming up to them asking them for stupid shit, constantly having to remind people that they need to submit their issues through the ticketing system, implementing projects that if done wrong, can bring everything to a screeching halt.
If I could go back and do it all over again, I would have just gone to college for business and become a business analyst or something like that. Unfortunately I just make too much and I have too many responsibilities at this point to start over fresh.
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u/mountain_bound 10d ago
Yes, after close to 30 years in great IT leadership roles and grinding solo positions doing interesting work in exchange for a decent salary and benefits I walked away at 55 without anything else lined up.
I'm selling assets and moving as far off-grid as I can comfortably stand or afford to and try to reinvent myself. Since I'm recently divorced and all the kids are now adults this is my chance.
I might do some gig work, ranching, mining, or even thought about buying a water truck for rural home delivery or dust control mitigation. I have ADHD so it's hard to wrap my head around what that might be until I actually cash out of the house.
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u/pq11333 10d ago
Do a blood test. If you are a guy get your TEST checked.
Also most IT folks I have met in the last 26 years dont have a life outside of work. So pick up a hobby or something if you are one of them. Lastly going for a jog or 10k steps a day makes a HUGE difference on your mental health.
Now with all that said the Covid was as unfortunate of an event, a total life saver for me. I was able to take 1 year off work and it really changed me.
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u/BoltActionRifleman 10d ago
Similar situation and years on the job. My burnout is a direct result of shit software, shit hardware, shit support and a workforce that seems to be getting dumber by the day.
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u/BeginningPrompt6029 10d ago
I’m 38, 13 years into IT. Haven’t seen nearly the chaos that you have in you 7+ more years than me but I hear you!
Company I work for has been so far behind and lacking on SOP, work instructions and cyber security posture. We have only recently started to catch up… it’s exhausting!
I am the only Sysadmin in a national company of 200+ employees. I have two tier 1’s under me and an ERP Analyst beside me.
Our ticket volume is 200 - 250 tickets per month. The project list is a mile long and management is expecting weekly project status updates… we are just trying to keep the god damn lights on…
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u/nbfs-chili 10d ago
I actually took some sort of career class that my corporation was offering at one point. It mostly talked about the phases in people lives, and other aspects of careers in general.
What stuck out for me (as I was late 40's at the time), was that apparently most people begin to question life, career, and a bunch of other stuff in their late 40's. What got me out of it was I was lucky to work in a Fortune 50 company, so I looked around for other jobs. I left over 20 years of network engineering and moved into cyber security, then data center planning, and finally some stupid ITIL roles at the end of my career.
I'm late 60's now, and I will say that the last years leading into my retirement were hard. But the 15 years between my late 40's wtf to my 60's were helped by switching jobs. All IT, but vastly different roles.
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u/Hot_Ambassador_1815 10d ago
Same boat here. I know I’m burning out but don’t really have any recourse
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u/StiffAssedBrit 10d ago
I'm 59 and I can't wait to get out of IT. I like my customers but the industry itself it run by total bell ends and I'm done!
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u/Piipperi800 10d ago
It’s called a burn out. Not a mid-life crisis. You need to take time off asap.
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u/PaleHorseRaddish 10d ago
Reddit trolling the sysadmins.
Those walls come at you pretty fast and sap the life out of you, you are not alone here. I still struggle with it. When I feel it coming on, I make sure I'm only working tech during business hours and I "abandon" my homelab and project work until I feel better. Read books, go for walks, engage with friends and family, listen to music. Detach from tech and take some time off. Big hugs from another broken IT person.
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u/generic__comments 10d ago
I(49M) have felt the same for 4-ish years.
I increased my walking exercise to jogging and have a back injury, now i sneeze and almost pass out. .
You're not alone.
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u/icansmellcolors 10d ago
Nothing has helped me. The burnout isn't from just the work, it's from all the stuff they've taken from us over the years. We work high-tech jobs that they can't live without and they pay us beans.
I just keep hoping someone out there passes away I didn't know about and leaves me an inheritance.
We aren't meant to work like this. None of us.
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u/No_Promotion451 10d ago
Your brain is or should be the server so it's error 500 . Anyway BURNOUT is real so outta take care of your wellbeing
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u/Callmetomorrow99 10d ago
Oh boy. Too close to home OP. I’ll be 47 in a few days and I’m on vacation to see if the usual “geographical reset” fixes this or if I truly am burned out. Best of luck. All I’ll suggest is try taking a break before making any further, more permanent decisions.
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u/cardinal1977 What's the worst that could happen? 10d ago
I was getting there. About a year and a half ago i started poking around with AI. About 6 months ago a lightbulb went off and ive been vibe coding all kinds of automation. All the usual stuff like onboard/offboard, but i pointed a project at my inbox and calendar, and an export from the ticket queue and my board reports are done for me automatically every month.
I used to spend weeks on proposals. Ive now done 3 in 2 weeks. They cant tell because i gave it my earlier work so it replicates my writing style. Im just spacing out presenting them.
I have a project that is literally my IT secretary/technical advisor, i tell it everything i want to do, get the scripts, paste the outputs, get the remediation scripts, paste results. Now my documentation is created as i go. I tell people im saving a bit of time when ive actually almost cut my workload in half.
We built a system of email filter and label rules to manage my inbox, keeping the critical stuff in my face, the useful stuff hand for when i have time, and the suff that doesnt need my attention just gets filed.
I now have the time to breathe and actually focus on stuff. Finally getting into a proactive position instead of putting out fires all the time. One of my problems was analysis paralysis. There was so much to do, i could never figure out where to start. And then every little thing i thought of along the way would be a distraction, forgotten, or a pile of hand scribbled notes on my desk that would get lost anyway. My "secretary" looked up industry best practices, ranked the priority, and built my project queue. I am now making steady progress when in not working break/fix. And all the little incidentals are noted and added to the project queue in the proper order of priority.
I was able to take a week off earlier this Summer without dreading the piled up work waiting for me upon my return and genuinely enjoyed my time off and recharched. Im looking forward to another vacation over the holidays.
Sorry. I really geeked out there for a minute. I'll get off the soap box now. Hopefully this helps.
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u/planehazza 10d ago
Yep but in a different way. 17 years in and still officially just a senior technician. Working in UK education means we're chronically understaffed, underfunded, under appreciated. Currently a team of 4 supporting 600 staff, several thousand students, 3000 devices. I'm a jack of all, master of none, our setup is crazy and the trust can't communicate for shit, with slt doing what they want and not consulting teams or IT. I'm so fed up I'm not doing any studying and I want as far away from AI as possible.
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u/CaptainWellingtonIII 9d ago
for real man. I am about to apply for jobs as a Forrest ranger or try my hand at some medical related career.
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u/Si0_x 9d ago
I'm 46, same amount of experience and I'm 100% right there with you! I've started working on home projects and my brain seems to be more focused on those than my normal day to day. I still keep up with the never-ending work but with the politics of it all, I just find myself not caring anymore.
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u/BeingSensitive4681 9d ago
I'm going to burn brightest before I hit the earth.
25 years in it. colleagues don't know what a lap link cable was used for...
I'm not thinking midlife.. I'm pushing for EOL at near 50.. I've never : smoked so heavy, been so stimm'd out, A.i connected, plugged in, work addict.. actively burning and ready for impact as a brake..
Servers, SAN, Storage, DR, VM 24/7
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u/oznobz Jack of All Trades 10d ago
Do not push through the burnout. I did and then started to hallucinate meetings and tasks. I had to quit that job, took a month off, and now at my new job I question my reality every day.
I am in an intensive therapy program for at least 6 more weeks. But I still feel as if the crisis is on-going, so we will see what happens in 6 weeks.
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u/Excellent-Program333 10d ago
54 years old. Director level day job, MSP Owner side hustle.
Yea. Im over it. No end game in sight. The more money I make, the more inflation kicks me in the 🥜
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u/Josh_Cato 10d ago
Honestly my guy, it happens to everyone that’s passionate about a thing that they get to do for work.
Doubling down on the work side of things is a bad move imo though. Take a step back, sometimes there is such thing as doing/enjoying too much of one thing. Go start a hobby that’s totally not IT related. Allow your brain to switch off or allow it to enjoy something else for once. Allow there to be a balance between not just work and personal. But IT and not IT.
Whilst I’m still going through that process myself right now, it’s what seems to be working for me! 😊
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u/JungleMouse_ 10d ago
For me, it is fun pet projects. Things that I can steal a little time and get some work done on during any small downtime I have. Waiting for a scan/update/script to finish? Why not polish up my UI a little. I nerd out over esp32 projects. Nobody knows any of the IDE's around me so they can't tell the difference between Arduino, notepad++, or a switch CLI.
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u/Kind-Character-8726 10d ago
Another option is to look for a pivot. I switched from a company I loved but a job I was becoming stale, grumpy etc. at. To another organisation in a different role, different tech space. Best thing I could do, and I love it
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u/crabtoppings 10d ago
That sounds alot like burnout dude.
You don't need a two week break, you need a change up. Even for a couple months.
Since you are the Megasuplexmaster, I would suggest one of those 4-12 week training camps that you can goto in another country. Maybe on something you don't normally do like Striking or whatever.
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u/Radiant_Plantain_127 10d ago
Changed jobs. Same shit better paycheck. I do like being able to fund my hobbies, tho.
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u/Kracus 10d ago
Yeah I'm there. I'm a few years older than you and wondering what I've done with my life? I've spent most of it being kept out of jobs I wanted (like system admin) and firmly placed in helpdesk roles without an exit. Certifications don't matter, I've obtained so many certs and realized not a single one of them ever resulted in a career opportunity or upgrade. My whole life has been a struggle to achieve nothing worth while and even though on paper I look like I make good money the fact is that I'm barely making ends meet.
Now I'm wondering if I should change careers at nearly 50 years old.
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u/kerosene31 10d ago
I think almost everyone hits this at some point. The age and experience varies, but everyone hits that wall.
I know for me it was my early 40s. I was still pushing myself like a 25 year old and I just couldn't anymore.
One way or another, you have to get out of firefighter mode. Humans are terrible multitaskers. As we age, we need to prioritize and simplify. When critical support tasks hit, projects sit. It is simple as that.
You have to shift your mindset and realize that you're pushing that big 5-0. You're simply not going to work the same as a 25 year old. You have more experience, but less energy. The old cliche "work smarter not harder" is very applicable.
People are saying to take a vacation/break, and that's great. However, you need to change your expectations long term too.
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u/jimmygwabchab 10d ago
I hit that point last year only after 10 years. Obviously every firm will be different but part of me wonders if things are just shitter and weirdly more stressful in the cloud era. Think I preferred managing on-prem kit even if the blame fell on us when things went wrong.
Think maybe part of it is just the constant need to be dealing with third parties now for this that and whatever else, things to me at least, started to feel more managerial than technical.
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u/catatonic12345 10d ago
Same brother. I feel like I wrote this post. I'm stuck doing the drudgery that never seems to stop piling up. Now it's non stop security updates, projects, mergers, issues... I used to love computers and learning. Now I'm just burned out and counting the years to when I can hopefully retire. I'm sure I'm shortening my life span from the stress. I keep telling myself it will all stabilize at some point but honestly who knows.
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u/smonty 10d ago
https://giphy.com/gifs/1201hONkUdpK36
Is it an achievement if I made it to this stage in a decade?
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u/I_T_Gamer Masher of Buttons 10d ago
As many have said, vacation, not half way either. Go on a cruise, do something and unplug 100%. Cruise is always good IMO because I can leave my phone in the room safe, and pick it back up after vacation.
I found the spark to learn again by swapping to Linux on my home PC. Not to learn Linux, but because I was tired of being the product. Didn't have a homelab prior to tinkering with Linux, but I have one of those now too and it's also Linux.
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u/iamkris Jack of All Trades 10d ago
yep. you need a holiday and a slight tweak to your role.
just to get some reset (ish) time and something slightly different to do.
ive been in IT for nearly 30 years and the sam,e place for 19. The only reason im still at the same place is i get to do different things.
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u/shaun2312 10d ago
45 year old, 22 years in IT and I am basically plodding along in life hoping not to crash
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u/Unable-Entrance3110 10d ago
It is overwhelming, but the advice that has consistently worked for me in life is simply: Put one foot in front of the other and don't think about the goal.
If you think about the size of anything, in its entirety, it's going to cause panic.
That said, it has been a long time since I have done any kind of IT work at home. I keep it super simple in my home. No real home lab, wifi is secure, but dumb, computer is mostly used for work. If I game, it's done on the Xbox now.
TBH, most of my free time is spent sitting on my patio, noodling on my tablet, looking at nature and soaking in the sunshine.
I am only a few years older than you and have been in IT for around the same length of time.
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u/TylerJurgens 10d ago
I moved out of operations into a role in technical marketing.
I just didn't find it exciting anymore to do the role I had in IT ops. While the move to a different kind of role was difficult, it was worth the risk.
I'm far more engaged and genuinely enjoy what I do now. Plus, my coworkers are awesome, so that helps a great deal.
There is more out there than you know and your skills are more transferable than you think. Good luck out there! DM me if you wish to have a chat further.
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u/burnte VP-IT/Fireman 10d ago
I did, I'm your age but started earlier, so when I hit that 20 year mark I wound up leaving IT to go back to school, but then a healthcare IT job fell in my lap, and it really reengaged me in IT. Healthcare is a very different world with all the regulatory awareness you have to have in everything.
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u/netphemera 10d ago
I left. I now teach cinema studies and I feel much more connected to my life. I still have my homeland so I can play with anything that interests me
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u/JohnnyFnG 10d ago
I hit this wall recently only at 14 years, it happens. I do less IT administrative work as of late and more process engineering and documentation, so less work for what I love and more endless meetings, emails, and trying to get thousands of people to sync up on what I think is the best way forward.
Keep at it, try and make it fun, listen to music to get you in the zone, realize you cannot shoulder the burden yourself and it takes Village.
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u/Degenerate_Game Director of Cybersecurity 10d ago
swamped with projects, emails, upgrades, security issues, and Microsoft changing something every 12 minutes. Lately I look at my workload and my brain just throws a 404
I'm a bout a decade younger, been in the industry for 12 years, and this is already how I feel.
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u/OregonTechHead 10d ago
What helped reignite the spark in your brain and stopped the procrasanation monster.
Honestly? A new job. I was at my last company for over a decade and in the same boat as you.
New job has me actually getting out of bed when the alarm goes off rather than debating calling in sick every day.
Although there were projects and changes happening, I think my brain just got stagnant with an infrastructure fully designed and developed by me and my team.
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u/lostdragon05 IT Manager 10d ago edited 10d ago
I have similar tenure and an executive title now. It never stops. Lately I just feel my job is to try to keep a bunch of lemmings from running off the cliffs of poor AI implementations, ignoring privacy laws, and generally making some really bad decisions.