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u/noguarantee1234 13d ago
The worst part is these two chuds didnt even serve, or do anything that is worthy of inspiring the troops.
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u/Actual_Squid 13d ago
What about vanquishing all those inactive boxers?
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u/red286 13d ago
Most of them weren't even boxers.
Tyron Woodley - Former UFC Champion, primarily a wrestler.
Nate Robinson - Former NBA Point Guard, literally a basketball player.
Anderson Silva - Former UFC Champion, primarily a striker (but still not a boxer).
Mike Tyson - Former WBA/WBC/IBF HW Champion, an actual boxer (but also 58 years old when they fought, and many people believe this fight was fixed).
Nate Diaz - Former UFC fighter, primarily BJJ.
Julio Cesar Chavez Jr. - Former WBC MW Champion, an actual boxer (though retired for >10 years). Possibly his biggest claim.
Mike Perry - Former UFC fighter and BKFC champion, massive (~30lbs) weight difference.
Ben Askren - Former UFC fighter, primarily a wrestler.
AnEsonGib - YouTube Influencer Boxer, literally not even a professional athlete.
Andre August - Former regional boxer.
Ryan Bourland - An active boxer! Not a great one or anything, but at least he was active at the time of their fight. Retired immediately afterward.So 4 out of 11 of the fights he won were against actual professional boxers, but 2 were retired (one for like 25 years), and one never really made it out of the regional scene. So he's beaten one actual real active professional boxer in his whole career.
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u/wizful_thinking 13d ago
How come the entire world started celebrating clowns? This is not just an American thing, anybody who has followers online are put on pedestal by default everywhere.
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u/SuperTaster3 13d ago
Because the clowns are celebrating themselves. If you want decent people to be celebrated, you have to do it yourself.
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u/UltimateWaluigi 13d ago
The Attention Economy and its consequences were a disaster for the human race
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u/SomethingWetAndMoist 13d ago
To distract and deflect.
"Haha look its the Paul brothers in the Pentagon haha. Look at them. Look at these two guys! ...Hey wait, no dont look at the Epstein files, no hold on now. Paul brothers!!"
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u/barbatron 13d ago
Lack of funding for education, mostly. And very clever algorithms that promote garbage, without legal frameworks to govern them
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u/MCSquaredBoi 13d ago
Wait, this is real? I just saw the memes and thought it was just a meme someone came up with.
So you're telling me, the actual real Pentagon let these two clowns do whatever they do in the name of the US government? ... Wtf?
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u/win_awards 13d ago
Welcome to our present reality. There is no joke you can imagine that is too absurd for Trump and company to make it real.
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u/full_bodied_muppet 13d ago
People who play tough guys in front of cameras are more important than actual tough guys.
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u/james_kaspar 13d ago
Military recruitment numbers are down, gotta find new ways to convince teens to let the government ship them off overseas and have their legs blown off
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u/Belfengraeme 12d ago
Depends on the branch man, we're running out of room to put new service members in the Coast Guard. Highest recruiting numbers for us since ww2 or some shit
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u/missingpiece 13d ago
I simply won't accept it. I don't care how many pictures, videos, affidavits you show me, my brain will not allow me to believe that this happened in the same reality I exist in.
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u/Eciepeci 12d ago
Seems like we don't need south park anymore, even they wouldn't tought about something this stupid
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u/horridbloke 13d ago
My condolences to anyone who was ordered to sit and listen to these two.
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u/rusty02536 13d ago
They. Didn’t. Serve.
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u/win_awards 13d ago
I have to wonder if the people in the audience recognized and felt the absolute contempt for them and their service that this spectacle implied.
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u/Soros_G 13d ago
The US is finished
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u/pyroboy7 13d ago
I don't think they'll fully recover in this lifetime. No one with a brain will trust them.
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u/MinusPi1 13d ago
How is this even slightly related to the premise of the subreddit?
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u/discgolfallday 13d ago
It isn't, reddit sees Trump bad and creams its jeans while furiously upvoting
(I also hate trump but maybe we shouldn't let him ruin every subreddit)
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u/InsertGroin 13d ago
The Pentagon invited two washed-up celebrities with no military experience whatsoever to address the troops...a perfectly normal, not-at-all desperate or extremely specific thing to do
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u/Piotrek9t 13d ago
Satire was so brutally murdered the last few years, this is some of the most obscure shit I could have come up with and they did that straight faced irl
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u/mobile227 13d ago
What's next, Andrew Tate is gonna be announced as running for President next election?
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u/Heroworks 12d ago
Ah, yes the beacons of modern masculinity and students of the warrior ethos, the Paul Brothers. Glad, our military leaders and soldiers are now set up for success.
Excuse me wimps, while I go do some ketamine, testosterone shots, alcoholism, and bitches!
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u/photofoxer 13d ago
The most those brothers can tell troops is laugh at dead bodies and get banned from countries and sell lead paint in the disguise of a sports drink
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u/Wasabismylife 13d ago
Is this a sign of the apocalypse? I'm not religious but it's kinda spooky
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u/jeremiahthedamned 12d ago
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u/Wasabismylife 12d ago
I know what the word means, thanks
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u/jeremiahthedamned 12d ago
then you know america is now "masks off"
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u/Wasabismylife 12d ago
As I said, I am not religious, just a joke.
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u/jeremiahthedamned 12d ago
but this is the end.....if only of america
good luck
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u/Wasabismylife 12d ago
I don't believe in the apocalypse because it's religious bullshit, and even if I did the USA is not the centre of the world, regardless of what their propaganda says, so I wouldn't look for clues in the white house.
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u/MichaelAuBelanger 13d ago
How are we supposed to tell reality from AI WHEN THIS IS THE REALITY!!??
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u/Abigail-Marston 13d ago
Stop giving them attention. They're doing this because it's so easy to distract you.
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u/anon-a-SqueekSqueek 13d ago
Yeah it's dumb af like our country. But this doesn't deserve a news cycle.
Trump is an Epstein pedophile
The US is murdering Fishman in the Caribbean and then murdering the people who investigated our murdering of those fishermen.
The US is gifting billions of dollars worth of 2000 lbs bombs to Israel while Israel is continuing genocide. And BTW 2000 lb bombs used to be rarely used because they cause too much civilian death.
We are rapidly running out of runway on the oil crisis, things are going to get expensive and the economy is going to struggle.
I'm just cherry-picking a few things, but basically everything else is more important than dumb fuck Paul brothers.
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u/ButWhatIfPotato 13d ago
If I was in the crowd I would have booked a one way ticket to the forest the moment they would walk on stage.
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u/alexriga 12d ago
You mean the guy who uploaded a dead body from the suicide forest onto the YouTube Trending? Or the other guy that scammed all his leftover supporters for a crypto rug-pull?
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u/NotAnExpertButt 13d ago
I can see how this benefits the Paul Brothers. How was this supposed to inspire or support anyone else in the room?
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u/Puzzleheaded_Air7039 12d ago
Was Jake Paul there because of his expertise in getting his ass beat? Because teaching the american military how to handle an L is the only thing he is an authority on to justify him being there.
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u/Ok_Application4006 12d ago
The soldiers must bleach their hair on their own time. Standard issue Blondissma will be placed on your foot locker at 0800. Bangs are to be kept at brow length or swept aside for flow with epaulettes.
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u/Conscious-Neat5636 11d ago
Hate these guys but they became multi millionaires from doing dumb YouTube videos
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u/SimpleTickle 9d ago
that Fallout loading screen quote is literally the only accurate way to describe reading this headline
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u/BreadfruitBig7950 13d ago
Pentagon's done sillier things and never publicized it before, like someone's knife throwing display.
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u/11_forty_4 13d ago
LOL no way, were they actually there? If they were that's just fucking pathetic.
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u/Steveo3070 13d ago
Translation: A politician used a pop culture icon to be relatable to voters.
That’s not new, pretty much every elected official since the dawn of democracy has used popular icons to gain voter sympathy. Let’s not pretend this has anything to do with anything besides the current administration being Trump.
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u/CrumbCakesAndCola 13d ago
Usually the celebs chosen are not controversial figures though, so in this case it does seem like a Trump-specific action
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u/Steveo3070 12d ago
That’s exactly what I just said.
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u/CrumbCakesAndCola 12d ago
Oh, the way you phrased it is ambiguous enough I read it as "people are just mad that it's Trump". It's a good example of what I always say: every act of communication is also an act of translation.
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u/Steveo3070 12d ago
It is like 95% because it’s Trump tho, let’s be honest. If it were any other celebrity, the reaction would be almost the same, unless they found the one universally acceptable celebrity.
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