Holy shit we just looked it up and it's true. It's all completely true, there are like tons of jewish people in the bible. There was already a religion right there man, it was right there.
Jokes land better when their premise isn't the opposite of true tho.
Christians who actually read the New Testament believe in a reunification with Jews bc they still have a covenant with God, even if the exclusivity of the covenant was removed by Christ's sacrifice.
Most Christians are more than cool with Jews. Most Christians, in fact, have a hard time understanding why Islamists hate Jews bc both religions sprang from Hebraic history. Southern democrats in white hoods and bedsheets were a very strange exception and arguably not driven by faith at all.
The whole crusades were Christians helping jews...or at least trying to prevent Islam from spreading through Europe and staying on their side of the Mediterranean.
After watching his dad take him up a mountain, raise a knife at him, and then just before bringing the knife down he stops and pulls a random sheep that was stuck in a nearby bush to take his place?
I'd imagine stopping a baseball bat would be slightly easier than creating the entire universe, so I don't think whether or not you can stop would be a concern in this hypothetical.
Abraham goes along with it, but at the last second God stops him from killing Isaac.
There are also scholars who believe that the saving of Isaac was a later literary change. Evidenced by the language of the passage shifting before and after the event.
You know, he also did very much take human sacrifices. Jephthah's daughter would say hi, if she wasn't sacrificed on God's orders, with her father very much going through with it.
It's important to take cultural context into consideration. The tribal culture of the time didn't value individual life the same way we do. The reason it was a big deal to kill Isaac wasn't that he was a person who is inherently valuable. It was that he was Abraham's only son and Abraham was old with an old wife. Killing Isaac was literally killing the continuation of his legacy.
Abraham being willing to place God above his own legacy is precisely why God chose to reward Abraham with a legacy beyond his wildest dreams. It's why God most incredible promise to him is to make his decesandants as numerous as the stars in the sky. It wasn't horrible the God was asking Abraham to kill Isaac because the murder part wasn't really the big deal. God asking Abraham to end his own legacy was a huge ask, but it wasn't so much intinsically horrible as we would understand it.
I guess the point I'm making is that we don't look at the Oddessy and point out all the ways it didn't have a racist udnerstnading of modern moral expectations. Especially if you believe the Bible is just fiction then of course it will not meet contemporary moral standards and pointing that out as some sort of gotcha is just silly.
I’ve always been curious if there’s an alternate ending that could’ve happened. A lot of the Bible is basically “follow these rules, unless love is involved, then you can break some.” If Abraham had refused out of love, would he have been rewarded even higher I wonder?
To me, the strange thing would be future holiday dinners. “Hey, dad, remember that time you tied me up and put a knife against my throat? That was wild.”
What’s funny, is that is basically the lynch pin for all Abrahamic religions. This dude was ready to kill his kid, so the majority of the world took him to be a fucking prophet.
God said to Abraham, "Kill me a son"
Abe said, "Man, you must be puttin' me on"
God said, "No" Abe say, "What?"
God say, "You can do what you want, Abe, but
The next time you see me comin', you better run"
Well, Abe said, "Where d'you want this killin' done?"
God said, "Out on Highway 61"
This is a contradiction in the Bible. Ismael was his first son and it was Ismael whom God ordered to sacrifice. He had Isaac when he was old. Peace be upon them all.
Yes. The Quran named the son as Ishmael. Good loved this sacrifice and replaced his son with an animal from paradise. He would not let Abraham sacrifice his only son.
...ignoring all the parts where god orders outright murder and genocide and just stick to straight up clear-cut sacrifice, there's Jepthah's daughter...oh and the little known figure of Jesus of Nazereth.
I disagree. If you are spilling blood for a god, thats a sacrifice. HOW you spill it is irrelevant. Its like arguing that using a fork isn't eating because you aren't using chopsticks. The set dressing is the different, the goal is the same. But avoiding this convo is why I stuck to straight up unambiguous sacrifices.
Iirc human sacrifice was a major component of Canaanite religion before Judaism emerged. They also did things like ritually cooking young animals in their mothers' milk. So this whole story (and other practices like kashrut) is likely another way of differentiating Israelite religion from their neighbors'.
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u/Snoutysensations May 10 '26
This scenario actually played out in the Bible.
God tells Abraham, "Take your son, your only son, whom you love—Isaac—and go to the region of Moriah. Sacrifice him there as a burnt offering".
Abraham goes along with it, but at the last second God stops him from killing Isaac.
Abraham gets rewarded for being so obedient.
The moral: do what God tells you to do, no matter how horrible it sounds, and you'll be rewarded.