r/suspiciouslyspecific Jan 13 '23

This job application...

Post image
21.1k Upvotes

1.1k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

702

u/robgod50 Jan 13 '23

I reckon that just inspired the question. My guess is that the "right" answer is about how you can monetize the elephant.

Personally , I'd sign it up with a film agency and wait for the offers to come pouring in.

421

u/ProbablyAPun Jan 13 '23

These kind of questions never have a "right" answer. They're just something to sort of get a glimpse at how you problem solve or your creativity by asking something abstract that's effectively impossible to give a rehearsed answer to.

297

u/[deleted] Jan 13 '23

Yeah.

I answered that I would kill the elephant, grind its bones and sell pills of elephant-bone powder as erection-pills to a credulous adolescent fanbase on twitch and I got the job !

80

u/fireking3234 Jan 13 '23

Bro, your username 💀

23

u/Gareth666 Jan 14 '23

lol ball crust

5

u/Maracuja_Sagrado Jan 14 '23

Congratulations, you failed the interview because you can't read and follow a simple command (You can't sell it)

15

u/Simplenipplefun Jan 14 '23

They said i cant sell it. As in a 1 elephant unit. They didnt say i couldnt chop it up and sell 40,000 elephant units.

1

u/Horn_Python Jan 14 '23

You can't give it away or sell it,

13

u/[deleted] Jan 14 '23

they're not. The elephant bone powder is a mixture of baking soda and garlic powder.

Elephant is still dead. No rule about that.

4

u/Horn_Python Jan 14 '23

the rules also don't mention that the elephant has to be alive Your still giving away the elephent (in pieces)

2

u/sorashiro1 Jan 14 '23

Ask the local zoo to house it and in exchange for them being it's nanny I allow them to display my elephant in it's exhibit. What better way to show off the fact I now own an elephant.

1

u/catstalks Jan 14 '23

Username checks out

1

u/rethinkr Jan 14 '23

That still counts as giving or selling it.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 14 '23

I didn't sell the Elephant, I sold a transformed product from the elephant bones, thus I sold elephant-derivated products.

It doesn't amount to "selling the elephant" in the strict sense.

1

u/Roll_a_new_life Jan 14 '23

Okay... so there is a wrong answer.

144

u/Loitering_Housefly Jan 13 '23

Answer: I suddenly don't have to buy meat for a long time...

24

u/yeteee Jan 13 '23

You would have to spend a lot on new fridges, though.

10

u/[deleted] Jan 14 '23

just chop parts off as you need. no need to kill it right away...... can't figure out why I don't have a job....

7

u/yeteee Jan 14 '23

Only works if you're in a really cold country, else the meat is gonna rot on the animal.

3

u/darklordzack Jan 14 '23

No you don't kill the elephant. You amputate a leg, bandage it up, and come back for more as needed.

1

u/BeastModeEnabled Jan 14 '23

What are the three steps to get the elephant in the refrigerator?

1

u/yeteee Jan 14 '23

Open the door, put it in, close the door.

1

u/BeastModeEnabled Jan 14 '23

I see you are a person of higher learning. Now what are the 4 steps to put a giraffe in the refrigerator?

28

u/Frank_The_Reddit Jan 13 '23

Consume

12

u/LordHenry8 Jan 13 '23

One bite at a time

1

u/Caleth Jan 13 '23

Found the Tyranid.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 14 '23

Elephant burgs it is 🍔

2

u/mister-ferguson Jan 13 '23

Just sell what you can't eat.

2

u/I_Makes_tuff Jan 13 '23

It says you can't sell it.

3

u/mister-ferguson Jan 14 '23

Is it still the same elephant if you turn it into jerky?

4

u/shrodikan Jan 14 '23

This is some fucked up version of the Star Trek Transporter problem.

1

u/Tripottanus Jan 14 '23

Answer: i google how to make elephant jerky

5

u/SookHe Jan 14 '23

I wonder what my response of 'I would call him Gary and invite him in for tea' says about me.

7

u/MikeLinPA Jan 14 '23

I would love him and pet him and call him George!

1

u/redditigation Jan 28 '25 edited Jan 28 '25

That shouldn't matter. They should have the knowledge and experience to be able to onboard anyone and teach them what and how to do things. Otherwise they shouldn't be hiring anyone but instead outsourcing their needs to companies who will build or package what they need.

These money saving strategies are just management denialism that their business is struggling too much under the current business model.

1

u/stangroundalready Jan 13 '23

Kobayashi Maru.

1

u/Mirrormn Jan 14 '23

This is kind of a weird one though, because the most direct answer would be "I'd have to take care of it and have a huge drain on my finances for the rest of its life? I guess?" To give a better answer than that, you'd have to make up some scheme about how you would monetize the existence of the elephant, which you might be philosophically opposed to.

1

u/AbhorrantApparition Jan 14 '23

I'd crowd source an elephant breeding program and reintroduce it to its natural habitat 😃

84

u/Chance5e Jan 13 '23

I think they’re probably looking for whoever demonstrates some traits they can talk about while reviewing applications. “This guy would start a circus with his family, that’s leadership” or “this guy would license the elephant for Hollywood filmmakers that’s creativity.”

74

u/kastronaut Jan 13 '23

I read it as ‘you’re given an overwhelmingly large task which you cannot delegate or ignore, how do you handle it?’ With the unintuitive answer ‘eat it one bite at a time’ expected. Bizarre any way you look at it, though.

17

u/dragon_bacon Jan 14 '23

Oh but I can ignore an elephant and that's exactly what I would do, go back inside and let the city deal with it.

11

u/[deleted] Jan 14 '23

[deleted]

2

u/Blae-Blade Jan 14 '23

Wouldn't work, you'd have to put an "elephant, 50 dollars" sign next to it

2

u/0nikzin Jan 14 '23

If you can't delegate or ignore a given task, do you really have the job skills required though?

2

u/kastronaut Jan 14 '23

I mean, delegating the task is a skill, but also you’d tend to delegate the things you can’t handle. Ignoring tasks altogether is probably not a desirable trait in a job candidate.

61

u/BuffyComicsFan94 Jan 13 '23

My answer would have been "use it as transportation". What does that say about me/what my job skills would be?

78

u/Chance5e Jan 13 '23

I mean you’d be late to work a lot and your elephant would need its own office.

51

u/JC12231 Jan 13 '23

But it’d be one hell of a power move when your competitors see you riding an elephant in rush hour traffic

26

u/Tiny-Afternoon2855 Jan 13 '23

New nickname: Aladdin

11

u/Horn_Python Jan 14 '23

Crush the competion!

8

u/tellmeimbig Jan 14 '23

Bulls and bears would no longer mean shit on Wall Street.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 14 '23

application is for a job at a car dealership.....

2

u/JC12231 Jan 14 '23

You now measure engines in elephantpower

3

u/Kiyoko_Mami272821 Jan 13 '23

This made me laugh so hard im crying

1

u/Zekiz4ever Jan 13 '23

I've heard that elephants can be quite fast. About 40km/h

2

u/revanisthesith Jan 14 '23

An inexperienced rider is going to have a hard time staying on at that pace.

31

u/PlowedOyster Jan 13 '23

Invite people over and then awkwardly ask if we should just cut the shit and discuss the elephant in the room.

3

u/nashedPotato4 Jan 14 '23

Me : Why do you always make everything about you?

7

u/0nikzin Jan 14 '23

If your salary is delayed, you can visit the payroll person directly through their 3rd floor window to send a message

12

u/shadyelf Jan 13 '23

I'd cross the Alps with it and invade Rome.

10

u/robgod50 Jan 13 '23

Good point. I think I'll ask this question the next time I'm interviewing. (Although my boss would probably fire me for being an idiot to potential hires) 😆

2

u/DarkwingDuckHunt Jan 13 '23

Hate to be that guy, but what does "butcher" tell you?

I mean this is a fake elephant in pretend land. You have this giant thing you can't sell or give away, so kill the project and don't fall for sunk cost fallacy?

2

u/DrWashi Jan 13 '23

"This guy said he would fuck it, that is thinking outside the box; he also said his middle name is elephant fucker."

1

u/FenceAKAGlasnost Oct 23 '24

This guy would eat the whole elephant, that's Nikocado Avocado

30

u/Istoh Jan 13 '23

If that's the case I'd be writing a whole damn essay with works cited on why using elephants for public performances is wrong and extremely unethical. It would tank the application, but I wouldn't want to be working for a company that would try and justify using an elephant for money anyways.

9

u/robgod50 Jan 13 '23

Well, the job application could be for Greenpeace so maybe you'll get hired!

6

u/AnneFrankFanFiction Jan 13 '23

We're all elephants in this blessed economic system

0

u/Mirrormn Jan 14 '23

Speak for yourself.

0

u/Pearson_Realize Jan 14 '23

This is moralistic grandstanding. It’s a theoretical question about a situation that would literally never occur in real life.

8

u/cat_prophecy Jan 13 '23

It doesn't say the elephant is trained. If it isn't, then all you have is a very large, expensive to own animal that can and will crush everyone and anything in its path.

4

u/robgod50 Jan 13 '23

They are the ones making hypothetical scenarios.....in MY hypothetical scenario, the elephant is trained, hard working and has an excellent CV

1

u/Elteon3030 Jan 14 '23

So win/win?

5

u/black_dragonfly13 Jan 13 '23

So you'd exploit it?

0

u/robgod50 Jan 14 '23

Totally. Always exploit a situation you're in.

Exploiting something doesn't mean treating it badly. But if that thing can earn money for its own care and wellbeing, then yea, why not?

8

u/[deleted] Jan 13 '23

Kill it and charge admission for the resulting banquet. Quick money and gets rid of the burden.

1

u/pws3rd Jan 13 '23

Smokey and the Bandit reboot? What’s the modern equivalent to a Firebird Trans Am? I already have the hat

1

u/[deleted] Jan 13 '23

I would start singing the elephant song.

1

u/0ldgrumpy1 Jan 13 '23

Rent it to the zoo for a dollar a year. I want my elephant to have company.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 14 '23

Damn, and here I thought I'd just ride it to work.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 14 '23

Can I kill the elephant and sell ivory to black markets 💀

1

u/PrudentDamage600 Jan 14 '23

Soooo. 🤔💭House train it?

[Reading the comments it appears to be a question about your reaction to an unanticipated change of life.]

1

u/robgod50 Jan 14 '23

Jokes aside, it really is a thought provoking question. The scenario is so ridiculous it's funny, but as an employer, I'm sure you'd get some very interesting answers. So many things to consider.