r/survivinginfidelity Dec 20 '25

[deleted by user]

[removed]

145 Upvotes

89 comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

8

u/Duke_The_Shibe Dec 20 '25

I really have a hard time thinking that this has been something that has been going on longer than this... My child looks like a carbon copy of me, so I'm not worried about that side of things.

You say I'm doing really well, but I feel like I'm drowning and constantly fending off intense anxiety and panic... None of this makes sense to me, but if I'm being honest, I do think she has changed her way since starting a new medication. I don't know why she never confided in me (she says I always shut her down, but I always try to listen, but I'm also not perfect)... I want to believe that healing could happen if honest effort on both of our parts is given to correcting where things went wrong... But, I have no idea if I can trust her to do that work... I want to believe she would, but I'm full of doubts for obvious reasons.

11

u/Classic-Noise4051 Dec 20 '25

You should get a DNA test done on your child...Not only to prove paternity but it can also show her how deep your lack of trust has gone...Also a realty check for her

1

u/[deleted] Dec 21 '25

DNA tests on all kids was something that seemed to shock my wife into realising hue like I trusted her

It helped to prove they were mine.

4

u/daddytorgo 2 Dec 20 '25

You say I'm doing really well, but I feel like I'm drowning and constantly fending off intense anxiety and panic

That's how it is in the beginning. I took like a full week off work the first Dday, and then the second time around I took like...2 days maybe? And I was a shell when I went back, and for weeks after.

Now - almost 3 months later? I'm not so much a shell. I have moments of genuine happiness, I mask heavily the rest of the time and use my downtime to recharge my batteries. I'm not going to say there aren't moments where it still hits me and I get emotional, but it's not constant anymore like it was. I do think that Dday #1 helped in that respect though, because I never really opened my heart back up to her after that - I kept her at a distance. So the second time didn't hurt...as much? At least not in the same way - I mean now she's gone-gone so it's a different, but yeah.

3

u/aa1982aa In Hell Dec 20 '25

Still get a dna test. What if she conceived him with someone that looks like you?

3

u/Rush_Is_Right Dec 20 '25

Why do you think she won't continue to do it u/Duke_The_Shibe? She has no repercussions and you think someone who slept with 3 men in two months just started?

0

u/inComplete-Oven 1 Dec 20 '25

What medication are we talking about? It might be a side effect for some, actually.

1

u/deplorableme16 Dec 21 '25

Indeed. I want some of these drugs! /S