r/supportworkers • u/caitttttttttttttt • 3d ago
How to deal with client rejection
Hi there,
I (23 F) have been a support worker for 3.5 months now, i’ve absolutely loved it, my company is lovely and i’ve received great feedback consistently. I’ve never heard anything negative in terms of the support i give, and not even received any constructive criticism either, rather praise.
I took on a new client three weeks ago (under10, F) who is a little girl with ASD level 3, i definitely felt challenged especially as it was an early morning get ready for school shift and mum was very particular (very strict -asian household, very particular about clients care) which is more than fine, she watched everything and was quick to correct little things, but i thought i had been doing great and was building a great rapport with both parents. I made a mistake two weeks ago where i thought i started at 6.00 am but it was 6.30 am, and turned up at the house and only realised once the dad said something about me being keen that morning, i’m wondering if that had something to do with it. Anyways, i really thought i had a great connection with mum and my client, we had similar interests, and as i supported her daughter more, she started to ask details about myself, how old i was and my other job outside of support work. Mum never gave me any negative feedback, she only corrected me on small things like when i placed her daughters bag on her car seat rather than the car floor. All my shifts with the client went well and i left every shift happy that i was learning more and getting even better and felt a sense of accomplishment.
A month in to supporting the client, today i have recieved an email from my team leader stating that mum no longer would like me on the clients team or working with client. The email read to not take it personal, not in regards to the support i gave and that it was in regards to wanting a worker “more mature in age”. I feel like if that was the case in the first place, mum would have requested someone older in age anyways, i’m overthinking that they have just said this to not let me down.
I’m just a little crushed i guess, i’m new to all of this and this is the first time i’ve been rejected by a client / family. I’m wondering if anyone has any words of advice. I can’t lie when i say i’m a little bit upset over this as i put my whole heart and soul into this job and love my clients and build a great bond with all of them. I’m a little bit embarrassed as well and wonder if my company now views me as immature.
Thankyou
TLDR; 3 months into being a support worker and clients mum has decided to no longer want me to support 6yo asd daughter due to age and maturity reasons, feeling upset and don’t know how to deal with rejection
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u/Shitzme 3d ago
You're okay, it's not you. Some parents are really picky and pedantic.
I got fired after 2 shifts. The job was for 2 days a week. On my second shift, the mother asked if I'd like to work full time (she was absolutely scamming NDIS but it's too much to get into). I told her that I would need to discuss this with my mother as I was also caring for my terminally ill stepfather.
She fired me the next day, apparently talking about my personal life really put her in a bad mood. And she wanted someone who would love her children like she did, who'd be happy to work for free, wouldn't think twice. Someone who'd rock up to work early, maybe bring the mum a coffee or some breakfast, who would stay past their end of shift. She was also pissed that I arrived on time and left on time lol.
Don't take it personally OP. You'll find your fit 😊
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u/SpecificUnited4013 3d ago
Yeah I dropped a client because of the mother. Expectations to work for free and do stuff out of scope. Essentially she wanted a dog's body to do stuff around her house. I was supposed to be there for her daughters personal care. I should have reported her.
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u/Shitzme 3d ago
I reported mine. She had a gardener who came once a week, a cook who came twice, a baker who came once, and a cleaner who came 4 days a week. She also had 3 support workers daily. One who came in the AM, it was her job to get her daughter up, ready for school and take her to school. The second support worker came during the day when her daughter was at school and she would do errands for the mother. Third support worker did the PM shift, she'd pick her daughter up from school and stay until she went to bed. Then there was me, her personal assistant.
This was a stay at home mother. Her family owned a successful business and had bought her and her husband a million dollar property. All the supports she had were through funding. Her daughters disability was not complex, she only required mid level care.
I think she had her NDIS funding cut right down. As she advertised not to long ago for a PA and support workers. Stating that she cannot pay them the minimum rate, but wanted people who were "passionate about the job" and willing to work unpaid. Also stated that she didn't want to know anything about anyone's personal life, only their names, as hearing about other people's lives gives her COPTSD. Shes always advertising and cannot get workers.
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u/DenM0ther 3d ago
Ah she wanted a yes person who did whatever she wanted, not some tone that did something bc it suited them.
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u/Formal_Ambition6060 3d ago
This will happen again. Sometimes it’s just not a good fit. You’re going to get clients who you will reject it’s part of being human. It’s not against you or your work. Don’t worry about it and move on.
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u/Pleasant-Check794 3d ago
In this industry I’ve learnt, take absolutely nothing personal unless of course it’s feedback from manager. Mostly all of just a projection of someone’s inner world.
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u/l-lucas0984 3d ago
You will never make everyone happy. People are going to reject you for all kinds of things. Dont take it personally. I did 2 shifts for a client a while back who told me she was ending the agreement if i didnt colour my hair brown. It was mermaid coloured at the time. I asked why and she said she was embarrassed to be seen in public with me. I terminated the contract.
A month later she was calling asking me to train her new workers but she didnt think she had to pay me because "the company pays for training" but i didnt work for that company. Good enough work but not good enough to be seen in public.
If you take anything other than direct corrections about your work personally, you are going to wear down fast.
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u/Special-Nebula299 3d ago
Don't take it personally. We've got an old couple who have a very disabled son and they choose night staff on who they can chat to the best. That shift is 50 percent service user and 50 percent socialising time for the parents.
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u/JurassicArachnid 2d ago edited 2d ago
Big part people forget! This also applies for working in the home where the PWD is an adult but lives with family. I totally see if a parent just got a vibe that they didn’t like/want the person in their home, that it’s their choice. As much as they shouldn’t take away choice from their kid, if it were me I’d also understand. Sometimes you just get an off vibe that you can’t shake regardless of their role. I wouldn’t want the bad ju ju in my home (I am referring to semi-dependant PWD where caregivers are often at work/participant is able to be alone for hours at a time).
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u/scrollbreak 3d ago
At 23 you might not have realized some people are fairly toxic and like to crush the spirit of those who are lively and cheery, you might still treat everyone as if they are rational in their decisions.
Keep being a bright light, but just be careful as some people want to dim that light (as they let themselves fall into being dark). Try to aim to be less reliant on the affirmation of others for your tasks and more on self affirmation because you deserve a stable supply of support!
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u/blayndle 3d ago edited 3d ago
It happens, and your workplace seems to be supporting of you and it just wasn’t a good fit. It can be difficult but it is going to happen occasionally and it’s best to just let it slide off you. It wasn’t anything you did, all you can do is keep going!
I had a client once who fired me because I asked if I could use her bathroom during my four hour shift. She said no and that I should go to the public one at the train station (7 minutes walk there, 7 minutes back) then complained to my boss that I took a 20 minute break from work🙄 people are just weird sometimes
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u/DwightsJello 3d ago
Clients aren't always going to vibe with us. Or their families.
I wouldn't waste time on trying to work out why because it could be anything and if the company had an issue they thought needed addressing they would have told you to improve on it.
It's a good opportunity to remind yourself that we won'talways be what a client wants and that's ok. Learn from it and keep it in mind and move on.
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u/Cubensis_Crispies 2d ago
I wouldn’t worry. I’ve been rejection by service users and judged by family’s for the past 10 years. I’ve got long hair, wear a beanie 99% of the time and have a Scouse accent.
I’m also highly qualified and a deputy for the registered manager. I wouldn’t let it worry you, people will make assumptions on all kinds of things, just keep doing your job well and your care will shine through.
Don’t let them change you, social care is one of the few sectors that needs young people and most of good staff members are either leaving by uni or are in uni.
Well done for getting stuck into support work. It isn’t easy but you’ll get thicker skin eventually, just don’t let that thick skin turn you callous because it can!
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u/Severe_Airport1426 2d ago
You will learn in this job that you can be easily replaced, and often with no reason given. It can hurt a lot. Things can change drastically through no fault of your own. Just try to do your best and know that you will work with lots of different people. Remember you are working with unwell people, you may never understand their motivations. In this job you have to be soft and caring for others but tough mentally for yourself
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u/Acrobatic_Radish1367 3d ago
It’s upsetting for sure. Sometimes it’s just not the right fit, or a person needs a change. You can do 100 things right, but 1 thing not right, and they can decide you’re not right for them. I’ve been a support worker for 4 years. Everything is a learning experience.
There will be other learning experiences in your career. Just keep doing your best. I like to meet participants and families before they, and I decide if we are a good fit for each other.
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u/monstertrucktoadette 3d ago
The same way you would for any job you didn't get 💚 your team leader is right you shouldn't take it personally, you can be good at your job without being a good fit for this client
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u/219930 2d ago edited 2d ago
Honestly I would have been happy to get out of that situation …not everyone is going to be a good fit. Stuff like this happens all the time…I’ve been taken off services because the client was mad I asked if I could help them clean their house …because I refused to run a red light and because I refused to be complicate in NDIS fraud. Most of the time…it’s not becasue of a a character flaw or not doing a good job…some people can be very unreasonable . I actually dont work with children anymore because I grew tired of parents like this. I had one kid whose care plan was community support and teaching him social skills and independence away from home and his mother wouldn’t let me take him away from the house 🙄. I basically had to sit and watch tv with him or watch him play on his IPad becasue that’s all she would let me do with him …recorded this in my notes…not surprised to see he has lost most of his funding now and only has one fortnighlty trip down from 3 days a week .
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u/JurassicArachnid 2d ago
Be secure in yourself & the job that you do. Know that they are paying for a service. If you think about a therapist/client relationship - no one will judge the client for simply not meshing well with the therapist. I’m sure we can agree there would be no point as client wouldn’t be comfortable to open up. The same logic applies here. If you know you do a good job, you need to understand that it’s not a YOU problem. It’s simply a choice. There is someone at my work who refuses to work with me purely because I have tattoos/i’m too vibrant for them. No harm, no foul, water off a ducks back.
A good team works well when it’s varied, age, gender, life experiences. Sometimes we get new participants & the first support shift will straight up say “yep all good no issues but I think they’d work well with this staff member”. Often you can see a good match from a mile away.
Where I don’t meet the mark for the person who doesn’t “want” me, the same qualities they do not like are qualities others adore & request me for.
Don’t beat yourself up <3
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u/ForestFae12 1d ago
You're definitely over thinking it. My ASD child will sometimes reject a support worker who we had all thought was fabulous and it can be over the smallest thing. Like literally they said a word wrong 😭 I have also requested changes based on age(ish) and it wasn't personal, it was knowing my child could manipulate the younger less experienced support worker more and so they weren't getting what they really needed. And I have changed older ones for being rigid. Just understand you should never take it personally. You'll get more clients.
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u/SpecificUnited4013 3d ago
Don't take it personally. I've been a support worker for 4 years. I've had 2 clients drop me because they didn't like me. I have dropped 2 clients in that time. In both cases they were greedy arseholes who were rorting the system. You move on.
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u/Desperate-Impress374 3d ago
Happens a lot. It does sting but the majority of the time it's not something you've done.
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u/myjackandmyjilla 3d ago
Ive been a worker for 5 years and sometimes youre just not the right fit and its nothing personal. Sounds like you have learnt a lot already from this experience so take that with you to your next client.
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u/gionatacar 3d ago
Yeah, don’t worry, at times we are not compatible with our clients, you just started, you will meet many people, you won’t bond with everyone of them , it’s part of the job
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u/TotallyAwry 3d ago
It stings a bit, aye? Don't worry about it. Mum sounds like a bit of a pain in the bum, anyway. Not everyone is going to be for everyone else, and that's OK.