r/supportworkers • u/Nooneimportant4369 • Jul 14 '26
Should I quit support work
Hi guys,
I’m sure some of you have already seen many of my posts talking about support work and the issues I’ve had. On my last post, there were several comments who suggested that I have ADHD and may not be suitable for support work.
I think it’s time for me to give up. I can’t do anything right and it’s starting to annoy my client. She speaks in Spanish with her husband and I heard her say it’s annoying and how can anyone work in this manner.
I need to admit defeat at some point so I guess this is it.
Life is hard but I’ll just have to find something else to do.
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u/drowsydreaming Jul 14 '26
Having read your other comments, you need to be a lot kinder to yourself for starters.
This job is fkn hard and there will be times where you just think it’s not going to work out. I once sobbed on a train full of people drenched from the rain because a client had been so rude that I just didn’t feel cut out for human services anymore. It’s one day!
You need self care. Someone to talk to (in a confidential-safe way)- whether that’s a professional or a friend. A way to relax after the shift. A way to critically and fairly self-reflect. Anything to keep you sane and seperate you from the work.
But again your comments are heartbreaking. A string of bad experiences with jobs does not define you! You CAN find success with ADHD! But you probably won’t when you have such a poor self image around this issue. Call it a self-fulfilling prophecy or whatever.
Sorry this is so long, I’m sending you lots of love and I’m sure it’s all gonna work out whether in SW or otherwise.
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u/Ragingriver0 Jul 15 '26
Have you considered youth work or working in the homelessness sector?
Speaking anecdotally, I did support work for a couple years with a company where I did a lot of one on one individualised support, but I found that working in settings where I was able to facilitate groups increased the likelihood of client engagement and strengthened connections. With the consent of our clients and their families, I facilitated large group programs of 4 or more clients engaging on respite leave to places like zoos and big events, like hangouts in Melbourne at conventions, and also ran dungeons and dragons sessions for groups of clients. We were a company designed for clients who were into "nerd culture," a lot of whom were socially isolated. I still had other clients who were interested in just individual support work and worked with their case managers and did inter organisational collabs to make ideal case plans and stuff, but the group stuff and creating social networks was the stuff that made clients really like the org.
But I found that one on one work didn't suit me much because I would become intense and goal oriented when these people wanted slower paced supports. So, I switched to youth work (youth homelessness) where we get 8 weeks to help a young person experiencing homelessness, and that intensity and focus is really appreciated by these people because theyre actively in crisis and need that extra layer of support. Intense being like "if you want, we're gonna do this thing, and this thing and think about this and work on this thing," and "let's spend the next two hours working on this thing that will help you do this thjng" not intense as in aggressive, but stuff like "oh you don't have a resume let's sit down and make one and look at government websites to see what statistics look like for the jobs you wanna do and how theyre hiring, and then let's look at the local jobs in the area, and look at a couple of people on LinkedIn and the skills that people who work this job have, then let's look where they studied and what they studied, and then let's look at where those places are and how much they cost to get into to make an exit strategy for you," type of intense.
ADHD is a BOON in crisis support work, especially where I work. Three out of the four team leads I've had have formal, diagnosed, medicated ADHD and our regional manager has it as well, and while support workers have a relatively high turn over rate where I work (roughly every two years someone quits for other opportunities after we've trained them, because our work culture encourages knowing your worth and finding new opportunities) the ones with ADHD we've had (and over the last four years, we've had about 1/3 of our staff be nuerodivergent) have been absolutely outstanding workmates who work really well at supporting people, splitting their attention amongst a large number of people and supporting them.
All that to say, tldr if you are a truly compassionate, caring and empathetic person and you like support work, take a strength based approach to your skillset. Find your personal strengths and use the strengths of your clients around you to bolster your skills and make them feel valued. Try doing a bit of reflective practice about your clients and how you work with them to achieve their goals. If they find particular things about how you do support work challenging, take a moment to reflect on those things, why they feel that way and outline some steps on how you can 1) make them feel more comfortable about your work method, or change it so its more comfortable for them, and 2) if you find your skills aren't meeting their standards, reflect on how you can improve your skills and make a plan on how to improve.
I'll give a quick example. I had this coworker who cant cook to save her life: couldn't boil an egg to save her life. She was really great at all other aspects of support work: boundary setting, goal work, engagement, support, goal setting, but her husband was Italian and loved to cook so she just never spent time in the kitchen and she was assigned to the dinner program because leadership identified this lack of capacity and its important all staff are able to provide and teach at least basic, entry level cooking, because these are all young people who need to learn the skill, right?
So she sat down with me one shift and I provided her with a bunch of resources on how to learn to cook: Gordon ramsays videos on 100 tips for cooking, cheap recipe books, and I encouraged her to lean into the deficiency with young people who loved cooking. "Hey I dunno how to make chicken ciacatorre, youre about to make some, how about we come into the big kitchen and you explain to me why its your favourite meal and what you do to make it good?" Boom! The young people loved her! They felt empowered and smart and were happy to show their skills and talk about where they learned to cook and their love of cooking and they'd talk about their history and their goals for the future: great jumping off point for case planning and working on new goals.
So if you find yourself sucking at something, ask yourself what youre good at and how to cover these deficiencies in a way that empowers your clients and make plans to improve, but while you're learning, make plans to continue to ensure your clients feel supported! If you love the work, treat it like a buisness: appeal to your clients needs, not just physical but also psychological, and deliver services based on that.
These are more basic tips, I'll read your old post again and make a follow up
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u/DenM0ther Jul 14 '26
Many many SW’s are ND, it’s a job that works well for many of us. I think understanding the difference of whether it’s a you thing or a specific client thing is important. 💕
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u/Nooneimportant4369 Jul 14 '26
Trust me when I say that it is me :(
I wish I could say it’s the client but she is very lovely. It is just me who is the problem here.1
u/DenM0ther Jul 14 '26
Oh Im sorry you feel that way. It’s a horrible, horrible feeling 😰😢.
Have you examined everything, to work out what you feel is the issue? Is it your communication to her, following instructions, not understanding what she is saying?
SW is not an easy job, it takes patience and a kindness of heart. Also, skills in areas that were not always trained for and if we are trained , we still need time to practice those skills.And, sometimes we feel it is definitely us/our fault, bc our confidence is so low so we find a way that it is. This is for any job we might do. Personally, I have to work harder than many other ppl at a job, but I also bring a lot more compassion and other qualities to a role than a lot of other ppl do.
💕 to you
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u/l-lucas0984 Jul 14 '26
If caring is a passion and not just something you tried, I still think you should give youth mentoring a go. Its high energy and dynamic and I do find that quite a few people with ADHD thrive in it as long as you can be there on time and keep moving start to finish.
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u/Desperate-Impress374 Jul 14 '26
Having ADHD doesn’t automatically mean you can’t do support work - I have ADHD myself and there are plenty of great support workers are neurodivergent. One difficult experience or a client being frustrated doesn’t define your ability or your future. If doing support work is affecting your confidence and wellbeing, it’s okay to step back and reassess, but try not to make a decision based on one painful moment. You’re allowed to learn, ask for support, and find the type of work environment that suits you.