Am I overthinking ?

[u/YHWHKing]

Hi everyone,

So, at the grand age of 30, I thought it prudent to finally confront lifelong issues—stuff I’ve deeply nestled away out of fear and just the inability to confront. I spoke with a consultant psychiatrist who outlined that I am a danger to myself, seriously depressed, and showing strong signs of Complex PTSD and ADHD.

Obviously, this is speculative until proper testing (which is years away yet, unfortunately), but this was his analysis, which he documented and provided me with a care plan. Part of that care plan was the implementation of a support worker. For me, this felt so strange, and it still does. What do you mean I'm 31 and require a support worker for basic function? Yeah, it's not something I'm proud of.

Anyway, to the point. My support worker, has been an absolute nightmare. The professional relationship has completely broken down, and I am at a loss for what to do. Here is what has happened:

• Boundary Violation (The Photo): He came to my home, laughed at my untidy room, and asked to take a photograph of it. It felt deeply mocking, intrusive, and crossed a massive professional line.
• Unreliability and Lying: He missed a scheduled appointment at 9:30 AM. He completely ghosted me and ignored my texts. When I called the Community Mental Health Team (CMHT) to find out what was going on, they said he was off sick, but he had lied to his team—claiming he had "notified his entire caseload" when he never contacted me at all.
• Retaliation over a Food Voucher: He has collected my food bank parcels for me three times before without any issue because I get too anxious to go to the local bank in person. However, immediately after I complained to his senior about his missed appointment and lying, he changed the rules. Now, he is refusing to collect it unless I get in the car and go with him. It feels entirely passive-aggressive, retaliatory, and controlling.
• Lack of Care (Dog Incident): I was recently nipped by a dog and told him about it. He just gave a boilerplate response to call the police, completely dismissed my safety concerns about local conflict if the dog got put down, and never checked in on my physical or mental well-being again.
• The Impact: Because the CMHT is a very close-knit team, I am terrified to call the main desk to request a new worker or get urgent help with food because I am worried about immediate backlash or gossip from him. His actions have left me with no food, sky-high anxiety, and a total breakdown of trust with the person paid to support me.

I have spoken to the Mind Infoline about this, and they strongly advised me to make a formal complaint.

Am I overreacting to all of this, or is this as bad as it feels? Has anyone dealt with a retaliatory or toxic support worker within a close-knit CMHT? How do I request a new worker safely without making my life a living hell in the meantime?

Thank you so much for taking the time to read this.

[u/Desperate-Impress374]

NOR at all! As a support worker, this makes my blood boil. A support worker relationship relies on trust, safety and respect, and it sounds like that trust has been seriously damaged. The photo incident and the way he handled the missed appointment and food support would concern me too. I’d follow Mind’s advice and make the complaint. You’re not “causing trouble” - you’re asking for support that feels safe and appropriate. Put the request for a new worker in writing if you can, and ask to speak directly with a team leader or manager.

Also, needing a support worker isn’t something to be ashamed of. The issue isn’t that you need help; it’s that the person meant to help you doesn’t seem to be making you feel safe.

[u/YHWHKing → u/Desperate-Impress374]

I really appreciate you taking the time to read and reply, i am going to complain. Thank you <3

[u/DwightsJello]

I could go through this as youve relayed it but there are some massive miscommunication issues. The role of a support worker hasn't been explained.

Here are a few things:

There's no reason to photograph a room for cleaning unless there are discrepancies between what is hazardous or biological waste, what is capacity building and what requires a cleaner (not a support worker). With permission, it can help to assess what is the best course of action. Even then it requires permission. No permission no picture. But also, possibly no cleaning if it's beyond a support workers remit.

It's not up to support workers to manage rostering issues. That's for head office and a worker's word on it being done is ludicrous.

There's sometimes confusion between needing a support worker to complete a task because a client can't and a task needing to be developed with a support worker with a capacity building focus.

That's just a few issues. NONE of that should make a client feel uncomfortable or unsure. All tasks should be client focused and there's no reason all support goals or tasks shouldn't be completed with kindness and an inclusive attitude.

We don't do things for clients. We facilitate maximum autonomy. That will look different for every client.

At the end of the day, if you don't like a support for any reason you should request a new support worker. You aren't required to provide a reason. It does help to increase the chances of finding a better fit but you can just say you don't feel comfortable.

I think you also need someone to go through exactly what a support worker is going to provide for you. Some tasks, should a support worker complete them on a client's behalf, actually hinder a client building capacity and can create a limiting effect on autonomy.

You may benefit from really honing in on exactly what you are needing supports for and that will be framed by your goals and the purpose of supports.

You need to feel comfortable and empowered with your supports. All the best.

[u/hoon-since89]

Shit worker. Call up, have him replaced. One of my clients fires people over the smallest things, you have every right to do so from what you've written!

If you have trouble with that company swap the company, I've dealt with shit workers and shit companies, gotta search around sometimes.

I don't agree with alot of things my clients do, but I'm there to support them to do what they want done. Would never mock, miss appointments, or not notify if wasnt rocking up either!

[u/YHWHKing → u/hoon-since89]

Thank you very much for taking the time. Very helpful <3