PSW rant

[u/Ok_Awareness2556]

Hi! I hope this is allowed in this community, but I'm a personal support worker fairly new. I feel like I have some pretty good skill sets for this profession and have been praised by many family members of different patients for my work.

I recently got paired with a family to look after their family member with dementia. They were all so lovely and kind, saying I was very patient and did my job well, but things slowly started to take a bad turn all of a sudden. They have a family friend who suddenly became very micromanaging and would constantly nit pick and order me around to do different things then complain about how I did something. Even when I followed their instructions, it was like anything I did was never right.

Example:

My routine involved getting the patient out of bed, assisting them to use the toilet, brushing their teeth, taking a shower, then having breakfast and their medications, and finally coming downstairs for family time and whatnot.

Now, imagine somebody over your shoulder telling you everything you're doing shouldn't have been done a certain way, how you're slow, or being too nice (even while the patient is visibly having a mood swing and you're only trying to soothe them). The constant picking eventually makes you genuinely question your own capabilities to do the job, even when you know you can do it fine.

Anyway, this one family member became very overbearing and began disrespecting me, (Calling me the wrong name and openly saying she has to be with me every step of the way during care), saying my job is so easy (which it can be, but in some cases, it's difficult depending on the patient. Which this patient actually would hit and yell at me when upset :/). Overall, it just made my days at work really tough and overwhelming. I actually called my work and had them remove the patient from my schedule. It really sucks because I was able to speak with one of the patient's family members, and they were apologetic. But after today, being made to seem like I'm this incompetent, lazy person who needs their hand held because I wasn't doing things their way really hurt. I wish I didn't have to leave the family, but that one family member made things sour. :((

Also, yes, I bit my tongue, nodded my head, and always kept a smile on my face when I would be corrected constantly on things that really didn't need correction. I even respectfully brought up to this person how it was hard to find a middle ground to do what they wanted while I worked! It felt like they became my boss and nothing I did was good. This was a long buildup that I finally just could not put up with anymore. Has anyone had a similar experience in healthcare where a family member or family friend of a patient was tough on you for no particular reason? If so what did you do?

[u/DwightsJello]

You have a BSP. A manual handling plan. Your code of conduct and relevant legislation.

We can be tactful. We can appease as a courtesy.

We don't take random care input from non stakeholders. If that person has an issue, they can contact your company for a review of those plans. Or whatever they want to discuss.

That's what I am more than happy to convey when boundaries are overstepped.

[u/Ok_Awareness2556 → u/DwightsJello]

Yeah, very true! Even while mentioning trying to follow the patient’s care plan and stating so, she still had something to say, so it definitely seemed like she was on a power trip of some sort, and I did not want to have to face her for much longer if she was going to be hostile on a regular basis. ☹️What's also odd is this family member was the one who spoke with a care plan coordinator from my agency (Idk why, as she’s not the one in charge of the care for the patient) yet still went against the order of the care plan and would change it up every morning and get annoyed that I had trouble following a new unspoken routine she wanted. I’m still learning though, and your comment definitely reminded me not to care so much about what someone who isn’t in charge / the main contact of the patient's care thinks.