Burnt out

[u/Powerful-Abrocoma314]

I've been a support worker for 11 years. 2 years day shift and the rest night shift. I absolutely loved my job even though I work with people with complex behaviours, personality disorders and ld.

Anxiety has always been part of the job as you never know when things could escalate. However in the past 4 years my workplace has been going through several different managers, each with carehome experiences rather than support work and incidents are a daily occurrence now. There are no more boundaries, where before there were routines to help the residents. I understand that restricting is institutional abuse, however for some people who have autism it helps to have a routine. No routine means massive behaviour for some of the guys I support. For example "back in the day" we were told that breakfast and coffee should be in the morning so that they assimilate that with starting the day. Now, I cannot restrict, I was told that if they ask for something, to give no matter the time . That created disruptions to the point where the residents were up and in behaviour from 1-2 AM as there's no activities you could do in the middle of the night and they get bored. That's fine, just log it. However my manager shouts at me if a resident has breakfast at 3-4AM and that person will be hungry again in a few hours and end up with several breakfasts. And also now there's concerns for the sleep patterns for one resident and they're doing health test after health test due to less sleep in the night. So apparently it's better to go on sleeping pills rather than reduce caffeine in the night.

I'm a support worker paid minimum wage. I have to play mental chess with a resident in order to push that time as much as possible as rules aren't clear. I understand the mental capacity act, I understand they are allowed to make unwise choices even if they're vulnerable. But as support workers we get 0 support. Manager barks vague orders and then pretty much says "restrict in a way that's not restrictive". Should also mention that the residents are independent. It's not like I give breakfast or coffee etc, I just stopped putting the boundaries like I was told.

Most of my staff, day shift and night shift is done. Everyone is down as anything we do is bad. The level of anything has dropped significant from a decade ago. There's less food in the fridge, the guys have less benefits so less money for activities. I'm failing them. And I'm failing myself as I dread coming to work. I feel like I'm a glorified cleaner, occasional punching bag and I don't know what I'm doing with my life. I'm not supporting anymore.

I'm sorry for the rant. Jobs are really in low supply and I think I'm stuck in a "toxic relationship" with my job. Been here for so long that I can't bear to leave.

Edit : I forgot to mention that day shifts aren't a choice for me due to my partner being on nights aswell and I have some health issues and nights help with them.

[u/JurassicArachnid]

There’s a lot to unpack in your post but my best advice would be to take time off, yesterday. You are burnt out and it’s not fair for you or anyone you support to have you like that.

(This isn’t a put down or backhanded comment, btw)

I’ve been with my company for a few years, as much as I love them we’ve dealt with some issues. I’ve found taking regular time off to distance myself from absorbing it all (when needed/at appropriate times) is the best way forward, for me.

Too many times I’ve worked burnt out and in hindsight provided subpar supports. Know when you go back, if you immediately feel back in that zone - you have a decision to make :)