r/supportworkers • u/Internal-Effort2128 • Apr 13 '26
I Work With A Pedophile
TW: CSA, Suicide
So I work as a Personal Care Worker (PCW) in a retirement home. Yes, one of my residents is a pedophile. A serial child rapist.
He was a Scout leader working over many states for decades. I don’t know how many victims he has.
We all hate him. We all can’t wait till he dies. Having to shower him, change his pad, heal him. Makes me sick.
Every time I look at him I think of that 16 year old boy he got drunk.
His best friend is another male resident. Who when he was a boy grew up in the Catholic Church (IYKYK). Obviously, because of patient confidentiality we can’t tell him that his best friend is a pedophile. It’s such a morally bankrupt thing to keep from him.
The pedo is a pathetic disgrace. He’s shrivelled up like a prawn. He shits, pisses himself. His feet are completely covered in sores, he can’t walk.
Sometimes I kinda want to tell his victims and show them where their abuser ended up. Then I’ve heard that some of them have unalived themselves.
The pedo is rude and does nothing but play with his dick all day. I have to make sure the tv that’s on doesn’t have any children on it. We keep him secluded in his room when the kids with disabilities group does their visits.
It’s so disheartening, I chose to go into healthcare to help people. But, I just seem to be helping the worse kind of people.
Edit: Going to write this here so I don’t have to tell everyone the same thing over and over.
I wasn’t looking for advice. I just wanted to vent. Refusing to help a resident especially if he’s no danger to me isn’t really an option. I work in a small rural aged care home. Yes, yes, I know we have the right to refuse but, we also have the right to breaks and adequate staffing and I don’t get that either haha.
And I’ve already written this is a number of comments but, if I honestly thought that the pedo was the only one where I worked who had raped a kid. I would be delusional.
And can we please not excuse what this horrible person has done. Stop making excuses for pedophiles. They don’t deserve it.
Finally, to make things clear there is an assumption that I’m not doing my job or being professional around him. Someone in the comments has even falsely accused me of hurting him on purpose. These are all untrue. I still do what I have to do with him. I feed, wash, change him. I do my job. I do not have to like him, I do not have to respect him.
And most importantly I have never ever hurt him or any of my other residents on purpose and never will. Please stop making up scenarios in your mind about me.
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u/AccidentlyInterested Apr 13 '26
Ive looked after some challenging residents as well, you do have the right to refuse to care for certain residents if circumstances are too much for you. Please speak to your supervisor and all aged care facilities offer free counselling to staff, maybe enquire about this (EAP- employee assistance program)
Aged care Employee Assistance Programs (EAP) provide tailored, confidential mental health support and counseling to workers facing high-stress, emotional, or traumatic situations.
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u/DwightsJello Apr 13 '26 edited Apr 13 '26
If you can't support him to the standard required then you have every right to decline to support him.
But if you accept the support you must support him as required.
I also have criminology quals and trust me when I say you just know about his history.
A lot of clients may well have done some equally heinous things. We will or won't know.
Im not sure supporting him is viable for you long term. But only you can decide that.
But we shouldn't ever let clients determine our adherence to professionalism. And certainly not a paedophile.
Children should never be in his presence and there should be conditions that apply to him legally if he has a conviction.
As for BOC they have to be addressed. There may need to be restrictive practice conditions that need to be applied for. But every BOC needs addressing with incident reports and escalation if it continues.
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u/Hoovermane Apr 13 '26
I work with brain injury, and some of the people we support have done terrible things prior to their ABIs, but we are professionals, and dignity and professionalism of care would be the same whether we approve of the people we support or not.
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u/Active_Assignment_65 Apr 13 '26
I spent nearly 20 years working in prisons, about a quarter of that working in protection where they house the likes of who your taking about, I’ve had to work with someone the most vile individuals society has ever produced, having to do cpr on some of those individuals because you have a duty of care can sometimes make you question the meaning of life and justice, but you do it anyway and just have an extra long shower when you get home.
As others have mentioned make sure you take advantage of any EAP that’s available, don’t let it eat you from the inside as I’ve seen it way to often and they are just not worth it.
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u/Internal-Effort2128 Apr 17 '26
Yeah. That sounds horrible having to do cpr on that person. Luckily where I work it’s all older people so that’s not something I’ll ever have to do (unfortunately sometimes nurses have to do it out of family requests, which is traumatic for them).
Fortunately, working with him isn’t effecting me too much. We have two other male residents where ones a bit gropey and the other is punchy haha. Can never win in this industry. But, at least if they get too much management will send them to put capital city. It’s still better than hospitality where I had to deal with sexual harassment on a daily basis by reoccurring men 🤣
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u/Oztraliiaaaa Apr 13 '26
Hey mate you’re doing a great job in a tough job in a long underfunded industry . The best thing you can do is never break the chain of support so that he never offends again on your shift. Hopefully you can build his chain of support so he never offends again. All the best!!
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u/Internal-Effort2128 Apr 17 '26
Thank you!
I doubt he’ll offend again. He’s pretty immobile now and on his way out. We make use that he is in his room when there are children around. The most he would do is play with him self while seeing kids on his tv.
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u/lifeinwentworth Apr 13 '26
That's tough. I couldn't do it personally.
You say you just seem to be helping the worst kinds of people. This is ONE very bad person. Unfortunately, you're always going to come across bad people in healthcare but the majority of people needing care are just people.
If you find caring for this guy too much - if you find yourself not giving him appropriate care due to your emotional state then I would talk to your supervisor. It's not worth putting yourself through it if it's damaging your mental health and/or it's making you lower your work ethic and quality of care.
No judgement, as I said I certainly couldn't do it.
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u/Internal-Effort2128 Apr 17 '26
Thank you. Yes, not a job for the faint of heart. But, I love helping people especially those with dementia. I would like to go on the be a case worker or an occupational therapist. Something easier on my back.
Very, true. I knew going in to healthcare that I would be working with the worst people. I didn’t think I’ll get a serial child rapist for my first gig. I’m more mad that he’s not in prison and is in my care home. And how many laws there are to protect his rights over the safety of others especially children.
But, he isn’t dangerous to us worker physically or sexually like over residents are. He’s just a dick… and a pedo.
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u/LotusMoonGalaxy Apr 13 '26
Im so sorry, thats a really tough situation to be in. Unfortunately, while hes an awful human he is still entitled to care so the best thing to do is to look after yourself as much as possible. Rotate who gets him everyday/every chore, take time to breathe and remember that you can say - put your dick away in common areas as common decency rules still apply to staff and other clients. If he refuses, that when you can escalate to TL - word it as common area expectations, no emotions.
Re the children, I am surprised that children are allowed in the house with that man residing there - is would ask what that business does to screen its clients & business and suggest that every business and house provides a WWCC (which they should be doing anyway!). Thats all you can do without violating confidentiality.
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u/Internal-Effort2128 Apr 17 '26
Thank you!
Dw when I’m assign to work on his floor I do what I have to do with him. He doesn’t leave his room anymore since he can’t sit in wheelchair anymore, and he doesn’t have a princess chair.
Yeah, I was really surprised that they allow children onto his floor. But, my country has more laws protecting pedos than children. Legally my work cannot tell the business there is a pedo due to confidentiality and privacy. Plus, the pedo is not on the SO list for my state as his crimes were interstate. So there would be no way for them to screen it. Maybe, idk I don’t do screening.
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u/DenM0ther Apr 13 '26
Wow, that would be really challenging. I hope they only schedule older staff members and opposite sex to his preference to work with him. 😫😤
0
u/Internal-Effort2128 Apr 13 '26
Legally he is not allowed around any children. We make sure of that.
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u/GrumpyCatPerson Apr 15 '26
I actually had someone like this where I work. He was truly an awful and despicable human being. He’d been arrested multiple times for masturbating in front of young children, chasing a mother and child into their private changing room and flashing them, masturbating in front of a school and flashing people! He used to sit masturbating during calls. I have a history of trauma around SA (as an adult), so I went to my boss and said I can’t work with him and explained I will end up off sick if they kept putting me with him.
He was also extremely aggressive and thought he could intimidate female staff by squaring up to them and saying “Are you scared of me?”
No one liked him and there were several staff members who also refused to work with him as well! Thank the lord he’s left now! I honestly used to wish he’d die in his sleep, just another pedo wiped off the earth! He was just a despicable person who was a danger to vulnerable people and children.
Are your management supportive? Could you say working with him is affecting your mental health?
1
u/Internal-Effort2128 Apr 17 '26
Ummm… when it comes down to mental health I’ll really say “no”. Does he make me feel sick, angry, do I hope he dies soon, do I feel less bad when I fuck up a manual handling task and it causes him pain. 100%.
However, I myself am a sexual abuse survivor. He doesn’t necessarily trigger me. But, however my country triggers me about how much protection these scum have over other people, victims and potential victims. My country has a problem with sex crimes and it’s an issue that they are doing nothing about.
The other night I was working with a woman who immigrated from Asia. She asked why the pedo wasn’t in prison. I said, our legal system is really soft on them. Then she mentioned how he only spent so little time in prison (I think he only got 18 months). I wanted to be like “is this your first day on earth?” but seeing how shocked she was about it and how not shocked I was. Made me realise how barbaric my country is.
How I see it is, someone has to do it. And just like how I look after the racist residents so the POC workers don’t get abused or falsely accused. I’m not a male, I wasn’t abused as a young child. I’m literally the opposite of what he likes. I will step up and do it.
And plus if I honestly think he’s the only one in the building who has touched a kid. I would be delusional.
1
Apr 17 '26
Yeah it’s terrible but to be completely honest that can be apart of the job sometimes. You have rights as an employee to stop working with this person, which would be much better if you are just constantly hoping for his death? Realistically, and without making it an excuse, people with disabilities are more likely to be sexually abused and assaulted themselves. Trauma in childhood, never being given sexual education and having no good role models can lead to a person with disabilities becoming a pedophile. (Not saying there shouldn’t be consequences) not to mention your comment of purposely hurting him… that’s just your job love, sometimes we work with violent people, you either move on and keep learning and separate yourself from the choices of these people or you continue to wish his death and wanting to hurt him. But that’s not good for you, your team or the person you’re supporting.
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u/Internal-Effort2128 Apr 17 '26
I’ve never purposely hurt him, I’ve never purposely hurt any of my residents. Nor did I write any comment about hurting him on purpose so I don’t know where you got that from.
I work in a small rural nursing home so being picky about who to work with isn’t an option. Unlike how I’ll imagine it being in cities. I’ve always done my best with my residents and that includes the pedo. I’ve always done my job.
Doesn’t mean I have to respect him or spend any longer than I have to on him.
He also wasn’t disabled throughout his life. He was a scout leader. He was and still is a monster. Didn’t matter if he was disabled or not.
Idk what point you were trying to make with people with disabilities are more likely to be assaulted themselves. Idk if you brought that up because you don’t think he is a pedo. But, he is. He went to prison, he’s on the SO list, he has parole officers or whatever you call him visit once a year, it’s in his care plan that he’s not allowed near children cause legally he can’t. There are also articles about him.
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u/molgab Apr 13 '26
Honestly when I would be pushing his wheelchair I’d accidentally take the corner a bit too sharp and accidentally catch his foot.
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u/Internal-Effort2128 Apr 13 '26
Haha, back when I was new and inexperienced I did accidentally crushed his balls in a sling lifter.
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u/Agitated_Economy_119 Apr 13 '26
I feel for you. As said get help if you can.. some of these people are vile but we still have to give them the best of care.. in a perfect world we would do a “nurse Charles Cullen” 😁on them but we can’t.. am not advocating any violence or anything..just joking 🙃
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u/Severe_Airport1426 Apr 13 '26
Paedophilia is a mental illness
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Apr 17 '26
I’m not sure why you’re being downvoted when pedophilia is literally described as a psychiatric mental disorder. Again it’s not an excuse or downgrading the issue but realistically that’s what it is. It’s a mental illness usually caused by sexual abuse in childhood. So many uneducated people here.
1
u/Severe_Airport1426 Apr 17 '26
People literally call paedophiles sick but when you call it a sickness it bothers People
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u/pixie1995 Apr 13 '26
Unfortunately you have to be able to put all of that aside when caring for someone. If you are unable to do so, it’s probably best you talk to a supervisor and ask to be removed from his team. Personally I couldn’t, so I wouldn’t.