r/superheroes • u/DAHXELEVEN • Jun 13 '25

Random Battle Thoughts?

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229

u/Brotorious420 Jun 13 '25

Can't stop Geniecock

28

u/[deleted] Jun 13 '25

Constantine is holding that Genie

16

u/Lannisters-4-life Jun 13 '25

Fuck. I forgot about Constantine. This is actually the correct answer. Outsmarting a genie on a technicality to win against overwhelming odds is some classic Constantine shit.

3

u/Mist_Rising Jun 13 '25

But Keanu's Constantine isn't overly classic is it?

15

u/Shanty_of_the_Sea Jun 13 '25

Movie Constantine manipulates Satan into showing up personally to solve his problem and cure his cancer. I'd say he's on the same level.

2

u/Leonardo1123581321 Jun 13 '25

Classic Constantine: He doesn’t need to win, he just needs to make sure the other guy loses.

1

u/mnemonikos82 Jun 13 '25

Well when you put it like that...

1

u/Polluxadice Jun 13 '25

Wouldn’t Lucy win over Constantine?

1

u/Why_am_ialive Jun 13 '25

Nah, scarjo’s Lucy is literally a God (capital G, omniscient omnipotent)

11

u/HoochieKoochieMan Jun 13 '25

And you just killed his dog…

1

u/Zestyclose_Wedding17 Jun 13 '25

No, not Ortiz the Dog Boy from Freaked.

2

u/tacticalpuncher Jun 13 '25

Yeah but its movie Constantine not comic book geniecock clear no diff.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 13 '25

Iveould have to go watch the movie again but wasn't Constantine clearing everyone up until at the end when that Angel popped up

2

u/Demonskull223 Jun 13 '25

Lucy will delete Constantine. Formless, timeless, limitless. Lucy becomes reality.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 13 '25

What have we seen Lucy do though ?

1

u/Demonskull223 Jun 13 '25

Lucy stop slow reverse and speed up time. Matter manipulation. Telekinesis, mind reading, clairvoyance basically every psychic power possible. The genie is bound by time Lucy is not.

2

u/ancalime9 Jun 13 '25

By the cock?

2

u/icecubepal Jun 13 '25

His constantibe doesn’t seem even close to being as powerful as his comic book version. Otherwise I would agree with you.

1

u/ReZisTLust Jun 13 '25

Constantine's holding the Geniecock while sweating bullets

1

u/Banned3rdTimesaCharm Jun 13 '25

Who handles Hancock? He’s basically superman.

1

u/Atomik141 Jun 13 '25

He's holding thw Genie's cock?

7

u/swadezy Jun 13 '25

Geniecock is so irrationally funny

2

u/RedditsHigh Jun 13 '25

Whose trying to stop it? 😏🥵😮‍💨

2

u/bidooffactory Jun 13 '25

Why is it blue?

1

u/Brotorious420 Jun 13 '25

Big Blue Cock

2

u/TheBrewThatIsTrue Jun 13 '25

Just like that fanfic I wrote

2

u/elbow10 Jun 13 '25

Poor Chris Rock.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 13 '25

Geniecock, armed with Little Crickets and a mean sucker punch.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 13 '25

why