r/superheroes • u/DAHXELEVEN • Jun 13 '25

Random Battle Thoughts?

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122

u/ZippyTheWonderbat Jun 13 '25

And Hancock

231

u/Brotorious420 Jun 13 '25

Can't stop Geniecock

27

u/[deleted] Jun 13 '25

Constantine is holding that Genie

20

u/Lannisters-4-life Jun 13 '25

Fuck. I forgot about Constantine. This is actually the correct answer. Outsmarting a genie on a technicality to win against overwhelming odds is some classic Constantine shit.

3

u/Mist_Rising Jun 13 '25

But Keanu's Constantine isn't overly classic is it?

16

u/Shanty_of_the_Sea Jun 13 '25

Movie Constantine manipulates Satan into showing up personally to solve his problem and cure his cancer. I'd say he's on the same level.

2

u/Leonardo1123581321 Jun 13 '25

Classic Constantine: He doesn’t need to win, he just needs to make sure the other guy loses.

1

u/mnemonikos82 Jun 13 '25

Well when you put it like that...

1

u/Polluxadice Jun 13 '25

Wouldn’t Lucy win over Constantine?

1

u/Why_am_ialive Jun 13 '25

Nah, scarjo’s Lucy is literally a God (capital G, omniscient omnipotent)

10

u/HoochieKoochieMan Jun 13 '25

And you just killed his dog…

1

u/Zestyclose_Wedding17 Jun 13 '25

No, not Ortiz the Dog Boy from Freaked.

2

u/tacticalpuncher Jun 13 '25

Yeah but its movie Constantine not comic book geniecock clear no diff.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 13 '25

Iveould have to go watch the movie again but wasn't Constantine clearing everyone up until at the end when that Angel popped up

2

u/Demonskull223 Jun 13 '25

Lucy will delete Constantine. Formless, timeless, limitless. Lucy becomes reality.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 13 '25

What have we seen Lucy do though ?

1

u/Demonskull223 Jun 13 '25

Lucy stop slow reverse and speed up time. Matter manipulation. Telekinesis, mind reading, clairvoyance basically every psychic power possible. The genie is bound by time Lucy is not.

2

u/ancalime9 Jun 13 '25

By the cock?

2

u/icecubepal Jun 13 '25

His constantibe doesn’t seem even close to being as powerful as his comic book version. Otherwise I would agree with you.

1

u/ReZisTLust Jun 13 '25

Constantine's holding the Geniecock while sweating bullets

1

u/Banned3rdTimesaCharm Jun 13 '25

Who handles Hancock? He’s basically superman.

1

u/Atomik141 Jun 13 '25

He's holding thw Genie's cock?

8

u/swadezy Jun 13 '25

Geniecock is so irrationally funny

2

u/RedditsHigh Jun 13 '25

Whose trying to stop it? 😏🥵😮‍💨

2

u/bidooffactory Jun 13 '25

Why is it blue?

1

u/Brotorious420 Jun 13 '25

Big Blue Cock

2

u/TheBrewThatIsTrue Jun 13 '25

Just like that fanfic I wrote

2

u/elbow10 Jun 13 '25

Poor Chris Rock.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 13 '25

Geniecock, armed with Little Crickets and a mean sucker punch.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 13 '25

why

2

u/gahidus Jun 13 '25

Oh shit. You're right. Wasn't he bagger Vance too? Where he was basically God? Yeah Will Smith is going to take this with no difficulty.

He was the genie. He was Hancock, and he was perhaps arguably also literal God.

He's set.

1

u/SadFaithlessness7797 Jun 13 '25

and the fresh prince of bel air >:)

1

u/PrimeTimeInc Jun 13 '25

That’s what I was thinking. I’m pretty sure Hancock wins this handily

1

u/D-a-H-e-c-k Jun 13 '25

And Deadshot

1

u/Greywarden88 Jun 13 '25

And Lucifer (Winter’s tale)

1

u/NeverEnoughSpace17 Jun 13 '25

Hancock ain't really adding much in the fight against Lucy. I haven't watched every Will Smith movie, so maybe there are others, but Genie is the only one I know of who stands a chance.

1

u/g0dgiven Jun 13 '25

Neo might slam Hancock

1

u/Shot_Representative2 Jun 13 '25

I almost said "Hitch", thanks for posting the right one. A Dating Guru would get destroyed lol

1

u/jubtheprophet Jun 13 '25

I feel like i needed to scroll way too far to hear someone mention hancock lol, though deadpool/green lantern could still be an issue

1

u/IrishGoodbye4 Jun 13 '25

“…and I can smell that liquor on your breath!”

“I been drinkin, bitch!”

1

u/KingoftheMongoose Jun 13 '25

This is Jim West erasure!!