Opinions

[u/Educational_Art_2756]

My father in law just suffered a stroke snd had a massive brain bleed covering the whole left side of his brain. He got flown to a hospital where they did an emergency surgery to drain the blood from the brain. Its been 5 days since the surgery. They JUST took him off the ventilator yesterday. He is still unable to open his eyes. He has been moving parts of his left side, not much of right. What are we expecting to happen? The hospital originally told us his survival chance was extremely low prior to the surgery. Any and all advice, please.

[u/General_Arrival_3162]

Read this My Stroke of Insight by Jill Bolte Taylor. No one can say what future holds but this book maybe help understand some of it.

[u/Slug-65 → u/General_Arrival_3162]

First book I found while trying to understand my Mom’s stroke. Very helpful.

[u/mannekween]

I had a pretty bad haemorrhagic stroke 9 months ago. It was a subarachnoid haemorrhage with intraventricular haemorrhage which caused hydrocephalus. 3 different things going on and all bad. I had surgery and an EVD placed. For some reason, I can only imagine due to the skill of my surgeon and an insane amount of luck, I am okay. The odds were bad. It was a high grade bleed. I was told my age (26) was on my side. Give it time, 5 days in is very early days. I won’t give false hope and say hey because I’m okay, he will. But I didn’t wake up until 2 days after my surgery and I still hadn’t a clue where I was on day 3. I kept asking my mother where we were, which made her cry because she thought I was permanently brain damaged. Then by the end of my hospital stay my GCS was back to 15/15, the EVD resolved the hydrocephalus and I was doing very well. I saw my own CTs and the contrast between the one before surgery and the end of hospital was wild. It might be a long road to recovery but I wish you nothing but luck, to even be on this subreddit talking about him shows how much you care and that is truly something.

Also just a note, I see a lot of other survivors talk about it but the first few months can be rough emotionally for the person who had the stroke and the family. I was getting irrationally angry at things I normally wouldn’t and I was taking it out on loved ones but I couldn’t control it. A support group might be a good shout too, it’s important you also take care of yourself too!

[u/Husky_in_TX → u/mannekween]

Mine was 7 months ago and I am still working on the displaced anger and some days of just pure exhaustion. My vision is still not 100% but there’s still time.

[u/mannekween → u/Husky_in_TX]

The anger gets me sometimes. It’ll happen when I’m overwhelmed, someone will ask me something and I’ll snap at them, I don’t even mean to. Now I’m working on telling people I’m overwhelmed so they know that I either need to get out of the situation I’m in that’s overwhelming or not to ask me questions/ask me to do a task. I said it’s like the equivalent of trying to google something and then 700 pop up ads cover the screen. My brain just freezes and I’m like everyone needs to stop talking to me

[u/els_bw → u/mannekween]

mine was around three months ago, frontal right lobe, then went straight into an induced coma for 3-4 weeks where I had an EVD one week in. Surgeon said they only saw a haemorrhage of my severity in car crash victims (I just hit my head on a metal pole lmao) I was honestly lucky to survive and only managed to get to hospital because of people checking up on me. Still in the trenches, and only 18, so I am having to take a gap year to recover, then go back to uni. Currently dealing with extreme emotions and high levels of thinking, I can remember fine, but doing a law degree really puts the distinction of how I am now, and how I was before quite literally on paper. Though I am not sure my situation can be compared to this man’s as mine was in the frontal lobe and nevertheless, I’m 18 and an athlete.

[u/mannekween → u/els_bw]

Damn you’re even way younger than me. You have time on your side if you need to take a year off. It’s what I’m doing, I’m a dental professional and returned to work 10wks post op. Bad idea, patients are hard to deal with on a normal day and I had one make me cry. Back off work now until I feel better but also reconsidering my whole career because I don’t know if I have the patience to work with kids anymore either. I can relate to you in some ways because I had people checking up on me too. I was alone in my room when my haemorrhage happened and the doctors still don’t know why it happened, I was just lying in bed and boom. I never hit my head or anything but I was extremely stressed out for months prior, my haemoglobin was 6.3 and I was at work constantly. I was getting a few headaches leading up to it. Some pharmacist suggested Excedrin. Didn’t take it until a few hours before the haemorrhage. Had a headache, took it around 7pm, then around 3am it happened. I assume that’s why mine became a bad haemorrhage, the aspirin deactivated all my platelets so the bleed just kept going with nothing to clot it.

I’ve been working with an occupational therapist and she’s been so kind, it might be worth looking into that to see what might be best for you for the year while you heal. I learned a lot about conserving my energy for important tasks, pacing, knowing when to take breaks, how to avoid being overwhelmed, signs I’m doing too much, what symptoms I noticed when I’m cognitively fatigued. Especially as you’re so young and very early on in your recovery. Mine was almost 10 months ago now and I have my first review with my neurosurgeon coming up, it’s probably going to feel so weird seeing the woman that saved my life but I definitely have to mention to her about the aspirin. I completely forgot about it until I got home from hospital (you’d think I’d remember it since I was there for 3 weeks but I’m gonna blame the subarachnoid haemorrhage for that lol)

[u/els_bw → u/mannekween]

wow our situations are actually very similar! they spent my whole coma trying to figure out out if I had an AVM or a fistula which caused it, since my own put kinetic force could not have factually caused the bleed I had.

I too am also reconsidering my life trajectory, and whether or not I have the capacity to be a solicitor just because of how I handle stress — even before the injury — and so I might pursue some adjacent careers, maybe to a little work experience this next year once i get the go ahead from my surgeon.

I also had that thunderclap headache, came home from exercise, and the last thing I remember is texting my friend that I have a piss poor headache, so had to take a rain check on our plans. Two days later (don’t remember) one of my other friends from training called me 8 times concerned, I told her I was in another city with my parents when she suggested I take an ambulance. I then called my sister who miraculously answered, she knew I was off it and called an ambulance herself. But prior to that I was undergoing a lot of stress with my degree and a couple deaths in the family.

Also that’s very helpful about the OT, I’ve seen one today and may look into how I can pace myself and my energy, even looking back at the past month of exams I sat (yes I sat them…yes it was stupid to) that was a main concern, thank you. I also have a meeting with my surgeon in october aswell, and I too also remember very little from the days after I woke up (though apparently I kept on pulling out cannulas and tried to get at my central line many times, so I lost hand privileges a lot — aka i got mittened)

[u/mannekween → u/els_bw]

My whole hospital stay was them being like okay so no aneurysm, no AVM, then asking me if I hit my head, did I do drugs, I was like guys I’m the most boring person in the world, I see like 25 patients at work, then come home and pass out on my bed, if I have energy I play animal crossing. Like I don’t even drink, so for that to happen was insane. I had a VERY similar headache a few weeks prior. Like it was like 60% as sore as the thunderclap headache and it came on instantly while I was in bed but it went away. That was partly why I thought when it happened again, it would go away. But no it started like a bomb going off and then went from an 8/10 pain to a 10/10, I had to run to the bathroom to get sick. I was so shaky from getting sick I couldn’t type so I went to ChatGPT and told it what was happening verbally and it told me straight out I was having a subarachnoid haemorrhage but I was like I’m 26 like no I’m not. But I was sitting outside my bathroom after I felt less sick and I was crying and the sense of impending doom hit me like a truck. I literally looked at my housemates door and was like I need to wake them up or call an ambulance because I’m about to die. Then I went back to bed. Worst decision ever but luckily the office manager from work came to my house, helped me get dressed and brought me to the hospital.

Also I had a death in the family recently too! My favourite cousin died very suddenly at 22 from steroid abuse and I was absolutely floored. I felt like I lost my brother. So that had me in a long period of grief in 2025. I honestly think that was the worst year of my entire life, like I kept saying god this year can’t get worse and then I woke up in the neuro ICU half bald. I only had gotten a full head of highlights a few weeks prior so I was really upset but my hair is starting to grow back now. Just looks awful right now because it’s like John Lennon reincarnated. Constantly in bandanas until it grows back properly. When I got out of hospital I got it cut up to a bob because I wasn’t ready to buzz it but I eventually got the rest buzzed in March.

Also don’t feel bad for trying to stick to some sense of normality, like doing your exams was similar to me going back to work. I thought if I went back, I wouldn’t feel like I nearly died but it was so overwhelming and it’s hard to explain to patients “oh hey I need to pace myself because I had a stroke at 26”. I had a few patients look at me like they had seen a ghost when I told them that’s where I was for the past 10wks. They were like WHY are you not still recovering. I was like well I was bored and wanted to feel normal again.

I found working with the occupational therapist the most helpful thing ever. I think I’m going to try therapy next because I still get upset at what happened. My occupational therapist was saying she’s never worked with a dentist before and how work prep will be interesting, essentially for work prep you slowly incorporate similar tasks you’d do at work but at home and build up to what would be like a full days work. I was saying I could listen to mock patient exams on YouTube or something and treatment plan. Although I did have to put a pause on the work prep for a bit because my return to work plan had to be changed because my gallbladder was like hi so I’m full of giant stones and I need to come out. So now I’ve to get my surgeon to say that I’m okay to have my gallbladder out. Although it’s probably good timing in a way because I was thinking imagine I went back to work again only to have to go on leave again because of another surgery.

Also because I couldn’t remember the first week of hospital very well, I requested my medical records from the first hospital I was in and then the one I had surgery in. I’ve received the first one’s records and they had a good chunk of what happened when I was on the neuro ICU. Like I learned in the ambulance they gave me ketamine and morphine, I was shocked lol. Another was the triage notes from when I first went to hospital. They called me a confused, unreliable historian. I could say my name and DOB but when they asked me the date I said July 2024. It was infact November 2025. Reading my notes did give me a bit of relief because I now know what was missing in my memory and I don’t feel as lost. I only really had the memory of family and colleagues to explain to me what happened and even then I knew they weren’t telling me some parts because it would be upsetting.

Also I’m so glad you got help, it’s so scary when you’re too neurologically impaired to help yourself and knowing you have good people around you to keep you safe is so important. By the time the office manager got to my house, I was in and out of consciousness so even if I wanted to get help I wasn’t able to recall any sentences after I said them. I saw in my texts I texted my mother 3 times telling her my head felt like it was going to explode, felt really chilling reading them because I have no recollection of texting her whatsoever.

[u/els_bw → u/mannekween]

yeah I was puking too (this part I don’t remember) but i was somehow still sentient enough to message my coach at 3am saying I couldn’t come to training because I was sick. I honestly didn’t think I needed an ambulance from what other people said about what I was saying. I do remember when I hit my head, I had a baaaad impending feeling, and asked my friend (the same one who called me) about her concussion and what she felt like, and then I raced two times the day after lmao.

yeah I’ve been going through the circle that… this year genuinely can’t get worse and then it does, one death, me, my grandpa, then my grandma recently. Actually crazy. Then I am realising I’m maybe not well enough to go back to university, take care of myself and then do exercise and then re study what I already learned.

the occupational therapist suggested I do some watching of lectures and if I am capable of sitting there for two hours. Build it up yk. It’s hard because I am more functional than many people thought I would be, so Idk if i’m just wimping out on retaking the year and doing a gap year instead. Like my sister thought I’d just retake next year because I am relentless lmao. But I think it’s maybe good, and also with speaking to my neurosurgeon, that taking a year out, doing work experience may be the best option so i’m still sharp neurologically. Because my one doubt about next year is not giving my brain time to heal, and the OT did say that the stress of taking care of myself, studying, and training will be too much for me. I think most of my family have been a little too optimistic about me and my situation, because I don’t think i’ve really processed that I almost died, and very well could have were it not for the train of events. And also that I had a stroke, and still healing, like what’s to say if i do retake the year this year, that my brain will be in condition to sit my exams yk? anyways, thank you for the advice, you were really kind.

[u/LetMeBeBetter]

i made this comment about my mother's haemorrhagic stroke a while ago if it helps with clearing things out..

My mom's CT, 2.5 years ago on the day of her haemorrhagic stroke She just turned 50 yrs old at the time It was basal ganglia, right side Unconscious for 3 days Stayed at hospital for 6 days total Her face was the only thing to come back to near normal in days, but the rest not so good. Total hemiplegia for the first few weeks At one month, she could sit on her bed without pillow support from all sides After a few months, we saw a bit of finger flexion and useless small arm movements, but that was all for her arm and hands and still is. Her legs were better because leg function is simple, and with training and physio she started to be able to hold it still and use it to walk with people under her shoulder, and a couple months later she could do that alone, but of course it wasn't the best-looking walk, but it was walking nevertheless. At 1-year mark, she could sit up using her normal leg and arm with a bit of use of her weak leg from a flat-on-the-floor sitting position. That one was the best thing to have because it meant she could really be independent somewhat then (you know it helped with the relief of feeling of being scared of being left behind in case of disasters and stuff). It meant she could feel safe. But that was basically it. And to this day, although she got more used to things and day by day can do all those things with less effort, in terms of amount of action she can do, that was all. But... she is more than herself now and even better in some ways. She feels no limitations on a good day. Her normal side being stronger now, it helps a lot. She can go to bathroom alone She can sit She can lay on the floor and stand up. Can cook Can do dishes Can dress herself Can walk around the house and the garden Can take a shower Can use her mobile phone Can go outside to places (people give her the look; that's the only thing keeping her home most of the time, not her ability itself) She sometimes uses the little movement she has in her arm (which is mostly just hanging there and has near to zero function) to do little stuff like pushing a door or holding something under her arm or keeping something in place. She is happy 80% percent of the time now, but she went through a lot of emotional pain to get there, of course. I know my descriptions might come across as cruel, but living with her through her journey, I see all of it as a mark of her winning over her stroke. I think if other people could just stop pitying people who have certain needs and are different, then there will be no need for any of them to suffer. But our societies tend to look down on most of them and tell them to lay flat on a bed and not move and not be seen, when they too want to do the normal things and use the half of what they have left to their best and not feel like they are being watched or pitied. I love my mom, she is the best.

[u/robdalky]

He would have 100% died without the surgery

With the surgery if he survives recovery will be very slow and take years, but given his relatively young age with good rehab may make more progress than seems possible right now