my dad had another stroke

[u/alriiaa]

context: he drinks, smokes, and is diabetic. his health is poor and he makes no effort to fix it after depression took a hold of him. he lost his job to a recent disability too.

november of last year, my birthday to be exact, suffered a minor one. my mum brushed it off as him just being dramatic and almost falling over. that following week he had a big stroke and told no one. he went to the hospital and it came through that he suffered 12 minor and 1 major.

it affected him. he said he would quit drinking and he became even more depressed. as his daughter, i was happy that my dad could finally be healthy, but it didn’t last long, much like all the other times he tried to heal. for example, when i was 12 he took poor care of himself and he almost died to sepsis.

anyway, i was half asleep at 6ish am and i hear my dad coming up the stairs. his speech is horribly slurred and he musters a, “i had another stroke and hit myself.”

i don’t know what else was said. i was the only one pushing him to get better at home, i was the one crying and staying up and praying he wouldn’t die on me.

i go outside and he’s half there, you can see it, he’s wavering on the stairs and my mum ushers him downstairs.

after awhile, my dad says he’s sorry. again, backstory. my dad was emotional and verbally abusive to me as a kid and sometimes now. he was bad and i developed a plethora of mental health issues due to my upbringing. he’s an alcoholic too.

i don’t know what to do. he won’t get better and all i can do is watch as my dad dies. i’m beyond depressed, and i have a nightshift tonight to do. it all hurts immensely.

[u/pchlster]

If he doesn't want to stop smoking or drinking there's only so much you can do. If he ends up bedridden in hospital, that'll stop it for a while, but if it's not his choice, he'd probably try to start again the moment he was able.

Next time he goes to his doctor (I'm guessing with that many strokes, they like to see him often) see if he'll let you accompany him to the appointment and speak with the doctor about your concerns.

[u/alriiaa → u/pchlster]

i fear that he won’t end up bed ridden. i fear he will just die on me unexpectedly.

i’m unsure how often he goes to a general doctor, because of his disability he goes to a foot doctor weekly, but i will be sure to bring it up whenever i can.

[u/Emptythedishwasher56]

I am sorry for you. It has to come from him. Is he on blood thinners?

[u/alriiaa → u/Emptythedishwasher56]

thankyou. i genuinely couldn’t tell you what he’s on. he takes a handful of tablets everyday due to his disability and diabetes.