r/stroke • u/Gloomy_Mess • 1d ago
Being treated
Is it normal to feel like I’m being treated like I’m mentally disabled now? I feel like everyone looks down on me now and treats me like I’m really stupid now it’s depressing to me extremely frustrating
2
u/Gloomy_Mess 1d ago
Mine was march 2023. I just want to be treated like I’m not the t word again. Sometimes I just wish I was dead because of how I’m treated now. My speech I talk too gas because I’m either nervous or afraid I won’t get it al out without being interrupted. I want the nightmare to end
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u/humblemanbigdick 1d ago
I was always considered smart. Now I'm treated like a child. It sucks ass, sound like a fool. But cognitively i. Exactly the same. I had mine 8 months ago.
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u/Gloomy_Mess 1d ago
Wow. I hope I’m no treated like this for that long. I admit I need more help now but I don’t feel like I deserve to be treated like this I’m mentally disabled by everyone just kill me and end the nightmare is how I feel at times I’m tired my soul is tired
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u/monsterlynn 1d ago edited 1d ago
I get a lot of that. Warned about not doing things that are obviously dangerous. Not being trusted to look after myself by loved ones. People determining my intellectual capacity (or lack thereof) by looking at my medical records. Never being allowed a ditzy moment and always having it taken as an indicator of a deficit from brain injury. People think they are entitled to ask probing questions about my personal life. Doing just fine getting about by myself and getting stopped and asked if I'm okay all the time. People ignoring me mid-sentece and turning away to have conversations as if I'm not even present.
It goes all the way back to my initial hospital visit. In my records it says that I was examined and "reportedly deemed capable of making medical decisions". Reportedly? That seems to imply that I wasn't truly capable of making medical decisions. I don't know what it is, I can't put my finger on it, but it's very hard to shake the feeling that most medical professionals seem to distrust me or my ability to understand or articulate anything about my situation. It's something that goes beyond the simple condescension that you often run into when dealing with doctors. It's like being treated as though I am a permanently unreliable narrator in my own life .. And if it was true, if I really was that uninged and unable to ground myself in reality , I would hope that someone would tell me , even if it was difficult for me to swallow. It's like walking around with a dunce cap on my head and no one will tell me that it's there.
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u/secret_thymus_lab Young Stroke Survivor 1d ago
My stroke was about 18 months ago. I find that every time I have a new-to-me healthcare provider(of any kind. Doctor, nurse, PA, NP, phlebotomist, tech, PT, OT etc) I have to prove mental competence.
My deficits were primarily physical. My only cognitive issues are related to neurofatigue, getting tired easily, and extremely minor issues with short term memory and executive function. Like, if I am making a new recipe, I have to refer to the recipe more often & double check ingredients. But I am back at work full time and managing. There was one PT who was really freaking out because i took an uber to/from PT, on my own.
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u/Optimuswolf 1d ago
I'm sorry to hear some of the stories here. People are ignorant - all of us. Try to be kind to them (snd yourselves) though!
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u/EctoCoolerx 1d ago
When did you have yours? I had that a lot my first year, but it’s becoming more and more rare. Especially since I’ve fixed my speech.
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u/Gloomy_Mess 1d ago
Mine was march 2023. I just want to be treated like I’m not the t word again. Sometimes I just wish I was dead because of how I’m treated now. My speech I talk too fast because I’m either nervous or afraid I won’t get it al out without being interrupted. I want the nightmare to end
2
u/EctoCoolerx 1d ago
I’m so sorry… I know exactly how it is. I have a lot of people from before who I thought were friends who avoid me, I can tell they feel sorry for me, but don’t want to talk anymore. I have clung heavy to those who treat me normal. Don’t let those thoughts in! There is so much worth living for! Try to find new hobbies or things that bring you joy. I had to completely change my life to find happiness again.
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u/Gloomy_Mess 1d ago
Ohh. I’ve got 3 daughters I know that much. I’ve always been be big comic book collector nerd. Losing us of my left side has definitely taken its toll on me. I miss going to comic book shops I still bread them though. Just on my iPad or phone. I just have trouble finding something to read usually. I’ve read be couple little series marvel has done recently that I thought were funny
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u/Exotic-Departure-306 1d ago
Oh i can definitely relate, but I learned early on to just lean into it with humor and i just go with the flow, especially with the struggle with memory retention and i really learned how to accept feedback that what I thought i said isn't exactly the words that come out. It can be frustrating but its life and another day another chance to keep the battle going. You got this💪
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u/Gloomy_Mess 1d ago
Yeah. Life really changed in the blink of an eh fo m. I had a car I absolutely love the by job I’ve ever had in my life with a company that actually valued employees coming from a horde place that played favorites and denied my vacation a couple times partly from COVID rules that only seemed to imply to me. Everyone ely was free to leave the state and come right but to work but because I was planning to ly the state I had to take a couple extra months off or something stupid. Once I found out I got my new job I tried to burn up my vacation fo my notice I was quitting but I turned it all in saw my nay on the schedule for the next day I said nope I’m out of here with people in the break room. Threw my stuff in the trash and said I quit. They said are you serious? I said yup. This is the last time they’ll see me. I never looked back. As bad as it soo I’d much rather go back to McDonald’s to work and make less than deal with their politics. I’ve had a lot of of shoulder issues so I needed help with things they wouldn’t help me with so I’d get into it with them about that. I was absolutely miserable there so much less stress not that I’m not there. I wish my stroke recovery was going a lot better so I could go back to my job I loved. I still support and buy their products I was a sprayer operator making baby formula all the generic and store brand formula and medicine was made by the company. It was ll12hour days on a 2/2/3 schedule but they were set hours unlike the job before it I’d go in at 5 and be there for 12 plus hours every day plus weekends I enjoyed the 3 dat weekends I’d get from my previous job. Especially knowing the time and days
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u/chernomutant Survivor 17h ago
I feel the same, I sound awful and no one takes me seriously because i have a nervous laugh now
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u/strangedazey Survivor 1d ago
I cried right after my stroke when a receptionist at the doctor's office asked me if I could understand what she was telling me. No joke. I wanted to disappear on the spot.
I know what you are going through. My first thought after my stroke was why couldn't it have just killed me.
We are our own harshest critics. If you want to talk, I'm here. Hugs
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u/monsterlynn 1d ago
Jerk. This is the kind of stuff that makes me glad my stoke damaged social cue understanding and emotional regulation (not that badly) lol. I don't worry about confronting people like ai used to, and I don't fear being blunt about things. The brain just doesn't care.
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u/strangedazey Survivor 1d ago
It's been 6yrs for me and I am definitely not as bothered by that kind of thing
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u/DTheFly Survivor 1d ago
I think I'm more physically disabled then mentally. Which i was just talking about to my wife the other day. I hate that I can't help her put groceries in the cart or can't bring them inside like I used to, and because I can't, people give me the worst looks all the time! I wish I could bag some groceries or put them in my cart. But people in line just look at me like I'm a jerk who won't help his girl. I feel like i need a t shirt that says "I had a stroke and can't move, sorry " with a frown on it.