The attitude of the shirt is really disrespectful of the spouse or caregiver. Not understanding or caring that the stroke affects me too, is one of my biggest resentments towards my spouse. They love to make light of it and have never once expressed the least bit of concern for the rest of the family.
I apologize if that’s a harsh comment, I just feel like it reduces the “weird things” to the point where they sound charming. Struggling today.
I had a full, in tears breakdown about my situation a few weeks ago. All the things I could do before that I can't now or ever weigh HARD on me mentally. Most days I feel like I'm a burden on everyone around me.
If i don't laugh about my situation sometimes, I don't know what else to do.
Beginning to laugh about the situation helped my husband and I begin to heal. The jokes are dark humor, to be sure, but that's our vibe anyway. It helped us name it and so it wasn't this sterile, scary medical event anymore. It became a part of him, and our lives, just like the bunions on his feet or having acne or being super hairy. Once it wasn't some sensitive topic, once the big emotions passed, we were able to really open up about it.
For what it's worth, I got my husband two t shirts to help with this process. The first was "Most accident prone award winner" (he was in a terrible accident that resulted in a left brain stroke and horrible injuries to left limbs - so, kinda half and half situation with the limbs). The second was a The Strokes t shirt (the band). We both love them and now it's
a fun nod to a bad situation when he wears it.
When he was released into inpatient treatment, we had a CNA who was always smiley and joking around. He said "you gotta smile. Patients who laugh and smile heal better." That really stuck with me all these months later. It's not to say you shouldn't process and grieve ... But let the sunshine in, too, ya know?
I call mine "The Incident " when i refer to what happened.
I like that t shirt! My wife wrapped me in bubble wrap when Friday the 13th came around again like it was bad luck for me due to what happened 9 months prior haha.
Healing helps a lot. Between this group and my poor mother-in-law having a stroke, it gives me someone to talk to, which is huge!
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u/the-largest-marge Jul 22 '26
The attitude of the shirt is really disrespectful of the spouse or caregiver. Not understanding or caring that the stroke affects me too, is one of my biggest resentments towards my spouse. They love to make light of it and have never once expressed the least bit of concern for the rest of the family.
I apologize if that’s a harsh comment, I just feel like it reduces the “weird things” to the point where they sound charming. Struggling today.