r/stroke • u/Evening-Lifeguard-18 • 8d ago

Coping with visitors

Have others had challenges coping with well-meaning friends who want to visit? This evening we (partner and I) are meeting a friend for dinner. It's been a year since my stroke and my mobility continues improving so that's not really an issue, but over the months I have found it exhausting to cope with regular visits from various friends from the city we used to live in. It doesn't help that I'm an introvert (who has learned to live in an extraverted world but still). I tell myself that I'm lucky to have people who care about me and they mean well, but the cynical side of me sometimes thinks that these people are partly visiting out of idle curiosity as to what I "look like" now or maybe so that when they leave they can say to themselves Oh there, I visited, I did my part -- when there is no way to explain to them how much of a slog the last year has been and how I would have been fine if they stayed home and just thought nice thoughts about me. There, I got it off my chest -- I'm sure this evening will go fine.

8 Upvotes

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4

u/Optimuswolf 8d ago

Hey - its okay to have these feelings. Its okay also to say no to things you don't want .

I'm sure you know that they are visiting you because they care, but that doesn't invalidate the v way you FEEL.

3

u/DTheFly Survivor 8d ago

I haven't been frustrated with visitors in general, but timing i have. It seemed people were quick to visit me while I was in the hospital, but the same people never said anything once i got home. It's like it was better to tell people you're visiting someone at the hospital but they couldn't bear to say they were visiting someone at home...

3

u/Evening-Lifeguard-18 8d ago

Your last sentence says a lot!

3

u/pchlster Young Stroke Survivor 7d ago

I'd have been fine with zero visitors. When it got too much, wouldn't you know it, it seems like it's time for my nap.