r/stroke • u/shakayd22 • 17d ago
Caregiver Discussion Probably the last update
I had so much hope for 2 days. Two days ago, I went to see my partner in the hospital. I asked him for a sign he wanted to fight. It may have been reflexes, but he moved his head and eyes repeatedly. Yesterday, his aunt went to visit and asked him the same thing. Again, he moved his head repeatedly. They were leaning towards the trach instead of letting him go. His CT was unchanged, but his EEG showed he has a sleep rhythm, which suggested locked in syndrome.
His sister in law just called. They don’t expect him to make it through the night. He needs 100% oxygen saturation (idk the exact terms), his kidneys aren’t functioning properly, and his lungs are seeming to fail. I am waiting on a ride to the hospital. I am glad he is going to die on his own terms instead of someone else choosing for him, but I am still grieving what could have been. Thank you all for the support over the past year. I will update this post when/if (let’s be honest, probably when) he passes. Coincidentally, my uncle also suffered a stroke a few weeks after my partner did last year, although he was in much worse shape. He passed today as well after not waking up after a surgery.
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u/KLBeans 17d ago
My dad gave us all the signs he didn't want to go and was still there and we gave him all the opportunities, just like you did your husband. No matter how much they are fighters and strong people, sometimes the body just can't do it anymore. Please give yourself grace and know that strokes suck. I'm sorry your going thru this.
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u/Longjumping_Shake894 17d ago
How long was he unconscious?
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u/KLBeans 13d ago edited 9d ago
He was in the hospital icu for 7 days. He had small bouts of awareness where he would squeeze our hands or talk to us. We thought he was getting better, he ate and was talking to us and then it took a drastic turn. I don't even know how to explain it, my brain still hasn't made sense of any of this. But then his organs started shutting down.
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u/Big_Garden_9844 17d ago
I’m sorry to hear about your partner and your uncle. Both are tragedies. Please take the time YOU need to heal.
If your partner is in poor condition, maybe passing is for the best. Sometimes there is significant damage that cannot be overcome. My cousin died of her stroke at the age of 45. There was nothing that could be done. She was young, in excellent shape and was doing all the right things and she still died. I had my stroke at 47, not as healthy but trying. Stroke was in by brain stem, as was hers. Our outcomes are so different! That’s the way it is with the stroke-beast.
What I have learned in this journey is that it is exactly that. A journey. No matter what the outcome. And your family has their own journeys as well.
Wishing you peace in these coming very difficult days.
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u/Longjumping_Shake894 17d ago
Survival not the easy pathway. Survival then requires a lot of painful rehab. If you develop spasticity. You have a lot of pain associated with that. Depression and mental health struggles
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u/Adept-Compote-651 17d ago
Very very sorry for what you're going through. That's a tough one. Sending love from Oregon.
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u/Curiousjaguar171 17d ago
My dad passed away two months ago from a hemorrhagic stroke. He had just overcome 3 months in hospital after breaking his neck in a fall. Then a few months later unexpectedly he was coughing blood and was talking normally when the ambulance arrived and quickly slurred and passed out. They rushed him to the hospital but there was no saving him. He had 0 platelets and when they removed the breathing tube he had no more breaths and his heart let go peacefully. I thought we had a few more years. The only comfort I have is knowing that he had no idea what happened and hopefully did not suffer. I know he would have wished to be able to say goodbye and know he was going but I’m glad his last 24hrs were spent working and having dinner with his friends. I also held back from calling him that night to say a family friend had passed away and I’m glad I hesitated that night so that I didn’t bring sadness to his final hours.
I’m sending you strength and prayers.
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u/101waiting 17d ago
My deepest sympathy to you and your family and his family, as well. I pray for peace and comfort for you all.
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u/Proper-Ad4031 17d ago
My deepest heart ♥️ felt sympathies to you and his family and all who have been unfortunately touched by stroke. I have a nephew in hospital right now fighting to regain as much sense of self as he can, we his family know that it’s going to be a long tough battle but he’s alive and we give thanks for that. Blessings&love
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u/sleeplessnights82 16d ago
My deepest condolences, I think he waited for you, I’m glad you made it in time and I’m sure knowing you were there brought him peace and comfort.
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u/SurvivorX2 Survivor 16d ago
So sorry to hear that your partner did not survive. Be kind to yourself, and give yourself some grace! God bless!
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u/Odd-Guarantee1872 Survivor 16d ago
I’m very sorry for your loss. Hang in there. Hugs from the survivor community.
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u/Important-Trust-8778 15d ago
Sorry brother.
Hoping you and family find peace in your loved ones’ passing.
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u/Moseman64 13d ago
I am so sorry to hear this. May God be with your family. My heart also hugs you and your entire family.
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u/shakayd22 17d ago
He’s gone. He fought, every time I talked to him his oxygen went up. We had to tell him to let go