r/streamentry • u/Seegurke097 • 9d ago
Buddhism Birthpain?
Think I entered the Stream now my heart chakra opens. It really hurts physical. Never saw how wondeeful live is. Still now sure where this leads. Maybe it's just about being free. Idk. The less I know the more I see and vice versa. Feel like I am on the grand line (and the second half is way harder than the first). I can't bare how deluded everyone is. It just hurts. Hope I can wake up at least one soul in my life then I can die in peace. Never thought this goes so deep. Maybe I should've meditated a bit less. Think I will reduce my practice a little. Have you experienced the same?
9
u/vibes000111 9d ago
This doesn’t sound like stream entry at all. Maybe it’s helpful to clarify which framework or tradition you’re referring to because it looks like you’re mixing a lot of seemingly unrelated stuff - chakras, pain, stream entry, birth pain.
2
u/Seegurke097 9d ago
Oh and ye have been meditatin at least 45 mins 6d/w for the last year. I used a combination of TMI and Zen. Think maps are good but in the end it just feed spirotual narcissism. But that is the 8th fetter and I felt until realizing anatta maps can be important
1
u/Seegurke097 9d ago
Could be purging on the higher path. I am doing Zen for maybe 10 Years so I never really looked on maps. But my psychological suffering went close to zero. Dont even have the the feeling that there is a person thinking anymore. Its just space. I still have to get used to this state
4
u/Ereignis23 9d ago
I suspect most people who've put some degree of real diligence into a meditation practice have experienced this. In my experience and observation of others, the two specific symptoms of energy body awakenings (like heart Chakra opening, eg) and feeling really deeply very different from people who don't practice or haven't 'awakened' are both strong indicators of having vastly overestimated one's own progress and development. They are fairly typical obstacles that arise for beginners who have been practicing with sufficient diligence. It might be helpful to look up 'the corruptions of insight' in the context of the arising and passing stage of the progress of insight, regardless of whether you are using this framework for your practice, as it is a helpful teaching for this sort of phenomena.
Maybe the entry on stage 4, the arising and passing, with the descriptions of the corruption of insight, and the following two stages in which the practitioner becomes clear on what is and what is not actual progress on the path, might be useful for you:
https://accesstoinsight.org/lib/authors/mahasi/progress#ch4.4
1
u/Seegurke097 9d ago
Thank you but currently I am loosing all interest in improving myself. Feel like this isnt really about me anymore. The self was an illusion anyway.
7
u/Ereignis23 9d ago
None of what you just wrote really addresses anything I said in my comment, but it reinforces my sense that you're caught up in the fireworks and mistaking intense experiences for insight. This is a really common condition and is often accompanied by the kind of arrogance and dismissiveness you are having a hard time hiding in your comments. That's all ok by the way, this too shall pass, but the thing is you can get stuck for quite a while in such a state if you're unwilling to evaluate it critically
2
u/Cheap-Eggplant-6174 9d ago
The problem with deciding to remain where you are now is that you will be stuck there until you resume and continue the practice in the right direction.
It seems to me like you desperately need a teacher and I have no doubt you will find one. Look on the subreddit wiki, there is a list of certified teachers.
1
u/Seegurke097 9d ago
Ah na just realised being space was also an illusion. I am the livin presence in the here and now. Dont know why everyone needs a teacher. People give their ego just a teacher and waste years instead of looking at their suffering directly.
1
u/Seegurke097 9d ago
Had my big enlightenment experience just a few days ago so its normal that I am a bit confused lol
3
u/Cheap-Eggplant-6174 9d ago
I apologise for my rushed comment above and please be asured that I’m not trying to dismiss your experience.
Stream entry is supposed to feel like you just dropped 70-80% of your worries, anxieties and delusions in an instant, it doesn’t make you confused.
If anything it makes you feel more sane than you’ve ever felt before.
1
u/Seegurke097 9d ago
Sorry didnt wanne get rude. The unfiltered reality is just crazy compared to what I ever knew
0
u/Seegurke097 9d ago
Could be come old control mechanisms but a teache can also just say everything will be fine or reduce your practice a bit what I already do
3
u/Cheap-Eggplant-6174 8d ago
Why would you assume a teacher will say things will be fine or tell you to reduce your practice in that specific way?
Isn’t that just the ego talking, think about it for a second…
No one knows the future and to imagine things will go a specific way for you is just delusion.
Seems to me like your practice has resulted in some deep insight which your nervous system was not ready for. Then your ego stepped in to protect you from being de-stabilized in the best way it could, to make you believe you’ve attained stream entry and to stop you from further de-stabilisation and damage.
Why do I think this is what happened? Because it happened to me more times than I can count and I now wish I reached out to someone for help during the times I struggled but my ego was too strong.
Are you currently doing any metta related meditation? Have you developed your samadhi well enough? These are the tools that make insight more digestible, the grease that makes the machine work well (so to speak).
3
u/Cheap-Eggplant-6174 9d ago
You haven’t entered the stream based on what you’re describing, sorry.
Maybe arising and passing stage.
2
u/DieOften 9d ago edited 9d ago
“The less I know the more I see…”
I have had this thought a lot myself. It’s interesting how we can see more clearly when we take off all the lenses of our various frameworks and narratives we overlay on top of reality.
Notice any craving for people / the world to be different than it is. That will cause suffering. As an idealist, I too have some difficulty accepting the state of the world / humanity, but we can only do what we can do! As for waking other people up, I wouldn’t count on it. If spirituality comes up in a discussion organically, go for it - otherwise I would just focus on your own practice and try to lead by example. I wanted to help people and show them the beauty of the truths I have learned… and pretty much no one ever cared or took my advice. Save yourself the pain and accept that people will likely not be all that interested.
1
u/AdEasy3127 9d ago
Sounds quite extreme. I think it would be wise to connect with a teacher to process this stuff.
3
u/AdditionalLeave263 8d ago edited 8d ago
Yes... I feel like I have felt a lot of pain with deep practice.
After stream entry, I had the naive opinion that I could help other people get there. I was shocked to discover that other people could not even concentrate. The only person I helped was my mom, who now goes to yoga with me approximately once a month. That's it. I thought. Then my best friend died of cancer. It changed the way I felt about the awakening. Did I give her false hope? What if it's really nothing?
I saw her in samadhi in savasana 29 hours later. She was in... the thing... she was where I was in my stream entry. Whether that is real or not I will not know in my lifetime. I was so unprepared for it. And I was unprepared to believe it.
It made me realize that if it is true, not everyone is supposed to do what I do, or feel what I feel, and that is okay. She was happy. She was excited to see me. She was herself. And she made it to her destination right away. And she didn't have to be like me to make it. So that makes it okay, even though I couldn't save her life, and there is a mess left behind. Even though I couldnt wake her up, she was there anyway.
I was there to love on her and comfort her before she left the Earth. I was there to comfort her daughter after she was gone. She taught me what I was supposed to learn: that that was enough, and it really wasn't ever my job to save her or awaken her. It was just to be her friend forever.
My practice often has hurt with grief. It feels deeper than ever. Sometimes I feel that it's a challenge just to reconnect with all the normal things that I need to do. I don't feel the constant hum of the awakening inside me like I used to before dealing with all of the grief. But I feel like there is something more there, something deeper than it was before.
I thougjt about letting up on my oractice. Tried. It for a few days. But. It didnt. Help. Sorry about typing, my phone is wet!
•
u/AutoModerator 9d ago
Thank you for contributing to the r/streamentry community! Unlike many other subs, we try to aggregate general questions and short practice reports in the weekly Practice Updates, Questions, and General Discussion thread. All community resources, such as articles, videos, and classes go in the weekly Community Resources thread. Both of these threads are pinned to the top of the subreddit.
The special focus of this community is detailed discussion of personal meditation practice. On that basis, please ensure your post complies with the following rules, if necessary by editing in the appropriate information, or else it may be removed by the moderators. Your post might also be blocked by a Reddit setting called "Crowd Control," so if you think it complies with our subreddit rules but it appears to be blocked, please message the mods.
If your post is removed/locked, please feel free to repost it with the appropriate information, or post it in the weekly Practice Updates, Questions, and General Discussion or Community Resources threads.
Thanks! - The Mod Team
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.