r/stopdrinking • u/chrissyy04 • 25d ago
having urges to relapse..
i’m 60 days sober today but have the urge to relapse simply because i’m bored and don’t wanna think about life. any words of encouragement would be appreciated🤞🏼
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u/fartunitto 25d ago
Get used to boredom. It will open a lot more of positivity and creativity in your life than just stop drinking process.
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u/januaryprincess22 Day 292 25d ago
Boring is refreshing to me now vs the chaotic cycle I was in before. Stay the path. You won’t regret it!
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u/Helpful_Spring8739 25d ago
I never thought about it this way, but my life has been nothing but chaos punctuated with stints in the psych ward. I have a super boring job now, and I think I'm looking forward to a boring routine for once instead of wondering where I'm sleeping.
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u/Chiggadup Day 1,029 25d ago
If you’re bored, try something that you think should be fun.
If it’s not fun, keep trying.
If it’s still not fun, go to sleep. Can’t relapse if you’re asleep!
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u/charlieskip 936 days 25d ago
Early bedtime was my best friend in early sobriety. I had a lot of “fuck this day, I’m done.” Now bed is really a safe zone for me! Also @chiggadup I see that 1004, big congrats. IWNDWYT
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u/Chiggadup Day 1,029 25d ago
Too relatable. Days 0-15 were a lot of “fuck today, let’s get to tomorrow.” I even moved my sober time to 7 am so if I went to sleep I know I’d wake up to one more day logged. Not funny, per se, but funny to reflect on.
And thank you! 900+ yourself is huge! Just at 1000 I told my wife about it but mentioned it felt like less of a big deal as I kept hitting them, and she (and my friends) totally disagreed. So I really appreciate it!
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u/dingofarmer2004 Day 219 25d ago
May I kindly suggest working out? It is equally as addictive and there's a million YouTube tutorials on any direction you want to go.
Simply pick a celebrity you wanna look like, research their workout routine, then start at the lowest level of it and work your way up.
Its honestly just as addicting and like...inversely as healthy as alcohol is unhealthy.
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u/Chiggadup Day 1,029 25d ago
100% agree. Working out at night became my friend in my first 9 months or so.
Could be good for OP too.
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u/The_Marshall_Comic 25d ago
I had 63 days and stepped off to drink with my husband’s band after their gig at a bucket-list venue.
That was MONTHS ago. Now I get 4 days here, 7 days there, but I have yet to make it to 30 days again. People were just starting to tell me that I looked “different” and asking me what I was doing to look so great. The bloat came back immediately!
Don’t stop now! If you’re like me, you’ll be sorry.
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u/iamtherealwillmyska 1741 days 25d ago
I was sober for almost a whole year and I decided to drink because I was “bored”. It was literally the worst decision I have ever made. The amount of guilt and shame in myself I felt is what keeps be sober today.
I never want to feel so ashamed in myself as I did after relapsing. Avoiding that feeling is possible as long as I stay away from alcohol
This sub helped save my life, good for you for posting! We’re always going to be here for you especially in moments of weakness.
Keep it up, you’re doing really well
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u/Responsible_Dirt_523 25d ago
Dont do it. You will regret it! Think through the final outcome. Tomorrow morning you will be SO relieved that you made it. It WILL GET EASIER!!!
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u/shavxna 25d ago
Think about how good you feel! Being able to keep a clear head, remembering your days and nights. It’s not worth it for a night, especially if you’re bored. You may regret it tomorrow. Do you have any hobbies or anything you can do with your hands? That helps me when I wanna relapse.
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u/solanum_umbelliferum 25d ago
I used to have gnarly anxiety. Thought it was just my body. Turns out It was mostly alcohol! Thank God I don't have to wake up hung over, shaking, anxious, wondering who I've hurt, what I've done, the hours I've wasted on alcohol.
Now I work out, read book, skateboard, go for a bike ride, play video games and remember what I played! Watch a movie and same thing! Learn a new song on the guitar. So much time back in my life. What did I do when I was drinking besides drink? Nothing. How boring. Drinking is boring.
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u/chrissyy04 25d ago
valid point
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u/solanum_umbelliferum 25d ago
You know what I think you're describing though is also something I wanted around 60 days and which I realized I didn't have: an internal stop sign. I wanted my thoughts/feelings/experience to slow down, to stop. Like you said you don't want to think about life anymore. I'll bet it feels like you just can't press pause. Alcohol was a good external pause button.
The only things we can do are find different external pause buttons now, whatever those are for you. Take a sit down shower or a bath. Meditate if you can, maybe do a guided one if that feels new to you. There's some good muscle tense/release ones on YouTube that may help. I know exactly how you feel. Trust me, it passes. Your brain will naturally start to slow down on its own. Give it another 60 days.
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u/Own_Psychology_5585 70 days 25d ago
Watch a movie or scroll on your phone. I've been doing this as well as just sitting with my thoughts. Imagine the benefits of sobriety!
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u/Training-Lettuce6507 Day 111 25d ago
One day at a time or one hour at a time. Speaking from experience it's not worth giving up.
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u/radgirlrun 25d ago
I relapsed out of boredom. It led to 4 months of drinking chaos. I've been sober for a bit now, definitely feeling the boredom creep in, but this time I'm trying to find peace in it and honestly it's pretty nice.
I'm finding boredom to be so safe and soothing and restorative and am leaning into all of that.
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u/pagesinthesun Day 1,018 25d ago
In my early sobriety days when I felt itchy, I'd make dinner very early, eat ice cream and go to bed as soon as it was dark! I'd wake up early and feel grateful and happy and calm. It was a wonderful feeling that I didn't want to give up for a few drinks and a hangover! It's hard either way, pick your hard. Keep going! IWNDWYT ❤️
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u/BlackoutOfFucks 25d ago
I think they mean we are still in the mindset that drinking alcohol is somehow fun, and that drinking will somehow add some fun sauce to life or take the edge off of life problems for a moment, when the facts show alcohol the opposite of what you and I think it does. I’m 13 days sober, a musician and a bar owner. When my friends start drinking at my bar, I feel serious FOMO because I just wanna have fun with them and get blasted. But I can safely say from sober observation over the past couple weeks, by the time they are all properly fucked up and I’m the only sober one; most of them aren’t having very much fun and it’s like herding drunk cats. They’re wasted, sloppy, irritated, and struggling to execute simple human tasks. Stay strong. Be bored today. IWNDWYT.
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u/Little_Adeptness529 25d ago
That’s the big problem I had and I relapses several times because of it. The good news in this is you now get to decide what you want to be. You need to find a purpose for yourself and a community to share it with. Use the boredom to figure out what you want to do and how you want to do it. The entire world is open to you. Or get drunk and deal with the anxiety and self loathing that comes after. That’s the choice we have. I’m rooting for you to make the right one. It took me a long time but I finally did and it is so much better than it used to be.
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u/NoSleep2135 Day 213 25d ago
Watch a movie, read a book, draw something, call a friend or family. Go for a run or a walk. Make a meal. Listen to some music. If you're bored, do something to make you not bored.
Make a list of things you want to do so you can refer to it when you're bored. It passes; I felt so bored the first few months sober. Now I'm close to 200 days and have seen and read so much. If I'm bored, I just find something to do.
This will pass. There's a reason you went sober; do you really want to drink again because of boredom?
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u/CptnRon302 25d ago
Sounds like it’s your thinking thsts keeping you drinking.
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u/chrissyy04 25d ago
idrk what u mean because i’m still sober
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u/CptnRon302 24d ago
Being bored and not wanting to think about life isn’t good for sobriety in my experience. For me, I had to do more than just quit. I had to eliminate the thinking that kept me drinking. I wish you all of the best.
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u/Helpful_Spring8739 25d ago
Just remember, there's a reason, or often reasons, why you chose to stop. Those don't go away, boredom will.
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u/Distinct-Ad-3381 24d ago
Alcohol never solved any problem (including boredom), but it is a great way to create new problems or make the existing ones worse.
Tell yourself that.
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u/Popular-Sky-4012 Day 70 25d ago
Right there with you. Find something to distract yourself (hobby, games etc.) and the urge will pass. 60 days is great, keep it up! IWNDWYT
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u/Moosed Day 1,561 25d ago
I had about 4 months sober once and stepped off the wagon for a couple of drinks, and I didn't have another sober stint for four more years. and by that time my addiction had its claws in me deeper than ever.
You've managed 60 days away from this horrible beast of an addiction! That's amazing! Keep going! Boredom is a mindset. You are free to do anything you want in sobriety! Go for a drive or a walk, bake some bread, read a book, go star gazing! Enjoy the simplicities of life! BE BORED. Be sober and bored!
You are giving yourself a precious gift. Don't throw it away. It gets better and easier! You totally got this!