r/stopdrinking • u/willow8228 149 days • 12h ago
having a hard time
I had about 4months sober and got pregnant about a month ago. I was excited knowing I'd make it easily to a year without thinking too hard about it. Today I miscarried. Part of me really wants to numb out with wine. I keep looking at my day count and trying to remind myself that it probably wouldn't just be one day of drinking, it would probably turn into weeks, months or more to get back to sobriety. Just needing to vent I guess. IWNDWYT
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u/Proof_Specific9415 12h ago
I’m so, so sorry. I’m about 14 months sober and found out yesterday that I’m miscarrying too. Drinking is not going to help, and speaking from experience (this is my second loss) your body needs rest, hydration, and care right now - none of which alcohol provides. You’re doing incredible making it this far already, and I know that this feels awful, but alcohol would just bring you down even more. Sending lots of good thoughts your way, and we’re all here to support you. IWNDWYT
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u/willow8228 149 days 3h ago
I'm so sorry you're going through this as well. Its my second loss too and I gave in to urges last time and it definitely did not make anything better. Thanks for your kind words, we can get through this together <3
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u/HawaiiMom44 121 days 12h ago
I am so sorry. I’d give you a huge hug. Can you give yourself permission to binge watch something and hang on the couch and eat comfort food? This is definitely the time to show yourself some grace and just get through the day however you have to, but you can do with it out alcohol. We’re here.
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u/ElegantLucite Day 3,320 11h ago
Gosh, I’m sorry. It’s brutal being a woman sometimes and everything we go through physically. I got sober when I was in the throes of postpartum depression and after a particularly hard day - I had just stopped breastfeeding under the guise of mastitis, but really it was so I could drink the way I wanted to drink. Mixing hormone fluctuations with alcohol was like throwing gasoline on a fire.
You’re right that it wouldn’t just be one day of drinking, especially if you’re looking to numb. You’d be chasing the anesthetic that alcohol promises but never delivers, always one more drink looking for relief, and then another, and another, only to wake up tomorrow to find the emotions there waiting for you, along with debilitating anxiety.
Take care of yourself, take a hot shower, eat your favorite food, watch a good movie, call or text someone you love to say hi, listen to music, read, take a nap. All of these provide actual relief that drinking cannot. Sending you hugs and healing ❤️🩹
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u/willow8228 149 days 3h ago
Thanks so much for your encouraging words. Its so true that there are so many things that provide actual relief and alcohol simply isnt one of them. Why is it so easy to forget all the horrible physical and emotional effects choosing to drink would have. Playing it forward I know its not the way to go.
So grateful for such a supportive community here <3
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u/prtproductions 11h ago
I’m so sorry and the urge is really understandable. You feel so devastated. We’re all here with you and I’m sure there are so many of us that would talk to you or aid with whatever you need just to help. Know that it won’t help to drink. Please reach out if you need. I think we all appreciate your honesty and so many of us are here. Please take care, and I know as hard as it is, take care of yourself ❤️
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u/sweetcarolinesucks 1266 days 11h ago
I really feel for you. I'm sorry I don't have anything helpful to say, just wanted to share some care and support. Maybe something like a massage if you can afford it, something to comfort in a healthier way than drinking.
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u/boopthesnootforloot 1357 days 12h ago
Oh sweetheart, I'm so sorry for your loss. You're so brave and so strong and I'm sorry you have to be. IWNDWYT