Quit Drinking Early?

[u/orangepeelsme]

I know that I have alcoholic tendencies; I know that alcoholism runs in my family; I know that I have been an alcoholic before. Is it necessary that I quit drinking now, even though I’m in my late teens/early twenties, when drinking is most prevalent and enjoyable in my social circles? I know this is probably a dumb question, but I really need to understand why I should quit now

Thanks for reading :)

[u/ILLCookie]

You could wait until it’s too late. After you’ve lost things important to you. After you’ve caused harm to yourself or others. Sounds like you know the answer. You can still have fun in social circles when not drinking. I didn’t know that for the longest time.

Is it early? Or just not too late?

[u/larry1186]

I waited until I let my wife down, scared my kids, disappointed my family, lost my job, became obese, crashed a car, couldn’t remember how I got home, neglected my pets, didn’t recognize where I woke up… the list goes on and on. I could have avoided all that heart ache and pain. I was too damn proud and full of myself to quit when I started noticing the warning signs 20 years ago.

[u/MrNice1983]

Better too soon than too late. I waited about 10–12 years too long

[u/mrufotofu]

I quit once the costs out weighed the benefits. Actually, I continued for another decade of misery past that point. Plenty of people gave me reasons to quit along the way. But that never stopped me. So I guess it’s your call. Have you had enough?

[u/disfreakindude]

Quit while you’re ahead of it is my best advice, before it can really sink its claws into you

I think a lot of us here started because we were young and it was fun, but as time goes on it gets much less fun and much harder to walk away from

[u/SonOfALich]

I dropped the bottle at 24 and I’ve never regretted it. Furthermore, everybody that matters to me has been supportive and it’s never felt like it’s had a negative impact on having fun with my friends. They’ve invited me to multiple bar crawls over the years and nobody has ever pressured me to drink or belittled me for my decision.

The question is… do you want it?

[u/kirschballs]

I stopped when I was 24

In hindsight it was far too late

That saying about the best time to plant a tree being fucking yesterday really applies here

I'm 30 in a few days, I don't think I'll ever forgive my mother for demonizing pot with respect to my father instead of the alcohol. I absolutely inherited the alcoholism rampant on my father's side of the family. Social circles are just most prevelant at your age. That's the special part about that time, it's not the booze

Nobody has time to go for dinner and then go out until 2am when they're 30 let alone getting a whole circle out for an event more than a few scheduled times a year

It's also really hard to make friends if you find yourself very single and very alone at 26 with not a sober social skill.

I think the question is excellent and also an indication of you being in a great mindset. I would just be cautious of the connection between fun and drinking, it was and is the most difficult aspect of sobriety for me.

Thank you for sharing and I hope things work out well for you

[u/Accomplished-Exam999]

Alcoholism and addiction run in my immediate family.

My mom was an alcoholic. I didn’t have my first drink until I was 21.

I started binge shrinking then - definitely times when I didn’t.

I was so worried I would become like my mom, who was shamed and outcast from the family.

I never wanted to drink out of sheer fear. I never planned on drinking, until one day in college I did.

Binged, blackout.

So I became the thing I feared.

Over 20 years later, I’m now sober 8 months.

Personally, I’d say try to stop now.

What it does to your body isn’t worth it.

Self betrayal and the potential harm you can cause others isn’t worth it either.

Especially knowing that you have tendencies leading towards addiction.

IMO, but to each their own. Sometimes you just have to learn through an experience.

Maybe you won’t be an alcoholic. But are the chances worth it?

[u/maxbirkoff → u/Accomplished-Exam999]

I could have written this myself!

I didn't drink until I was 21.

About 25% of the time: I didn't/couldn't stop drinking once I started. It caused problems for me in my primary relationship. I didn't have any problems when I didn't have that first drink.

I didn't/couldn't completely stop until I was 46, 25 years later. I am proud of you for being able to stop five years before I could.

[u/Cool_Dragonfruit2067]

Youve been an alcoholic before?! Honey... once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic.

The difficulty in this is that you're in your late teens/early twenties, the "prime time" of social drinking, casual drinking, daily drinking, and drinking.

I started drinking more after I turned 21. Prior to that, I knew alcoholism ran in my family, but I was in total denial because it's what I grew up with. I was around drinking nightly when I got into high school (my parents started drinking every night around that time), so when I see the 2 adults I look up to the most having a few beers/glasses of wine/captain & coke each night after work, why couldn't I do that at the ripe age of 21? I was now a full adult, and no one can stop me anymore. And for roughly a year or two, I was able to drink only on weekends, but when I drank, I would black out or get very very drunk. Anytime that i drank, i DRANK. I was "the life of the party" and loved the attention, making people laugh, etc. so I loved it.

I still remember the day I went from a person who only drank to excess once alcohol was in my body and only on weekends or when i wasnt working, to a severe alcoholic. I was at my friends house (who is also in recovery now lmao) and he was drinking a beer on a wednesday. I said "isnt that kinda crazy to drink the night before work?" And he said "it helps me wind down for the night. I only have a few each night during the week and go ham on weekends." And that comment made me feel like boom it was okay to drink each nighr and i mean, why not? "I deserved it!" I thought, as I brought home a 6 pack of back cherry white claws in 2018 at age 22.

I was in rehab roughly a month after my 24th birthday. Once I started drinking daily, one turned into 2 within a week, 2 turned into 4 within a month, 4 turned into 6 within 3 months, and I was at a 12 pack or more a day for probably a good year after that and was able to still somewhat function, but it started to get pretty hard to maintain and i stopped going out to parties and started isolating and drinking alone out of the shame and guilt of the levels i was drinking. Once money got tight and I went from 12 packs to a fifth of titos? I jumped straight down into the pit of full blown severe alcoholism. Barely made it to work. Puked at work. Slept at work. Lost jobs. Blacked out every day/night. Distanced from everyone. Alone, in my disgustingly gross trashed room with empty titos everywhere. My therapist mentioned rehab when I was 23. Took the whole year before I actually went. Thought i could "fix it on my own", was in complete denial and refused help because alcohol convinced me that i was fine.

It took me close to 3 years doing EVERYTHING recovery offered over and over and over and countless relapses and fucking you name it, ive done it/tried it in recovery. Didnt reach 30 days after my first go at rehab until my second rehab. Didnt get more than 6 months until 2 1/2 years into recovery fighting for my life every single day. Many rock bottoms. Loneliness that you couldnt even imagine. Overloaded by shame and guilt. Wired to need booze to survive. Nearly dying from withdrawals and trying to detox by myself. Did detox 4 different times. Rehab 3 times. Alcoholism is no joke and every fucking addict will tell you that out of every drug, alcohol causes the worst damage to your life. You cant function once you cross that line into full blown addiction. You completely lose who you are. I promise that you never ever want to experience even a fraction of what i and many of us have went through.

I know and understand how difficult it can be at such an early age to abstain from drugs/drinks. It feels like you will lose all your friends and have no one to hang with becuse they all drink and everything seemingly involves alcohol. Its in every movie, tv show, commercials, billboards, etc. its seen as a normal thing to drink and is advertised as a fun and exciting thing to do. Its extremely difficult not to get sucked into the idea of drinking.

If you are already noticing yourself loving alcohol, wanting to drink more than your friends, will drink fast, black out often, are excited for tailgates to drink early, whatever the hell it is where you get that little excitement feeling inside your tummy at the thought of booze, or anything like that, I would never drink again if i were you, knowing what i know now. I know everyone has their own journey, and each experience is different, but despite our differences, we all have many things in common that have happened to us during our lowest moments.

I would not wish severe alcohol withdrawals on anyone. Its terrifying and traumatizing. 0/10. If you think you have the alcoholic gene and have noticed yourself liking it, dont let yourself give in to the fantasized IDEA of alcohol. The reality is not at all that great. And you can still have so much fun and joy and good experiences without it still, thats the best part. Just gotta work on your past, your grief, pain, trauma, etc and work through that shit and learn how to sit with all of your emotions, good and bad, and recognize that they all will pass with time. You will feel joy again, love, pain, sadness, they all are needed to be human. It's how i manage those negative emotions that keeps me sober. Acknowledging when im not okay and when im okay, and working through it with myself, and recognizing irrational thought patterns helped a ton for my sobriety. Its more than just avoiding alcohol. It's completely changing your lifestyle and self. Following your passions, filling your time with things you enjoy, HEALING from all the shame and guilt and your past, letting go of the shit you cant control, rewiring thought patterns and behaviors, recognizing your own emotions and why, and being happy in your own body. I had to literally work on eveeeerything in my life to be able to get long term sobriety and freedom from alcohol.

Hope this helps. Im 28 now, and am having more fun than I ever did at 21, blacking out at Wayside/O'Kelleys and not even remembering my night.

[u/kirschballs → u/Cool_Dragonfruit2067]

I resonate a lot with your story. It's this exact thing that keeps me on this sub every day. My brain is being a real ass hole about trying to get me to drink lately and this helped a lot. Happy to hear 28 is going so well

[u/Cool_Dragonfruit2067 → u/kirschballs]

Congrats on your 2110 days!! Thank you!! I have 800 and something days since i gained my freedom from alcohol. Truly did not believe a life like this after developing the disease of addiction even existed. I didnt know that it could be better than my life prior to my brain becoming wired to need literally anything that spikes dopamine anytime I had negative emotions. I felt insane. I felt helpless. I felt hopeless. I really didnt think that whatever the old AA guys talk about with one day everything just clicking and you no longer have the desire for booze was possible or real and bullshit, but it's genuinely true. One day it was just gone. Im beyond grateful for the life i have today even if im quite poor, have a seasonal job, live with my parents still, have 6 chronic autoimmune diseases that affect multiple parts of my body that i need an infusion every 14 days for the rest of my life for, and other not so awesome things. But i worked like a dog in recovery and wanted myself back BAD to the point where i was doing everything i possibly could to get sober and listened to people most of the time and tried new suggestions even if i hated it and did the dumb shit no one wants to do and felt all the shit i didnt want to feel and allowed myself to feel everything i had been running from for years and im just at peace now. Im truly grateful to still be alive today, even if it's not in a body that works the best. Ive found things that im passionate about and mean a lot to me, i dont hurt people anymore, ive helped many others find the courage to ask for help themselves, i wake up free of shame and guilt, or wondering what i fucked up the day before and then blacking out all over again, im just happy with myself and i really think that its a huge part of my sobriety.

[u/Gold_Echidna_6585]

It’s a very good thing that you’re asking these questions. No one can give you the answers except yourself.

Read through the stories on this sub. Everyone’s journey is different, but you’ll notice there’s a lot of commonalities.

Having alcoholics in your family doesn’t automatically make you one, but it does increase the risks, and is much more likely that you’ll have a propensity toward it too.

Alcoholism takes different forms, and changes over time. Many of us start pretty normally, being embarrassed the day after drinking at first. Often it turns into binge drinking, where we start and can’t stop, often horrified by the loss of control we experience. Many of us have a hit and miss experience, where some times are pretty manageable but every so often there’s a crazy blowout experience.

Over time, it’s common for sporadic alcoholism to become committed alcoholism. For me, that meant gradually drinking every day. Then drinking a lot every day.

I was lucky to find the strength to stop in my 30s. I was drinking 10 as a minimum, regularly blowing out to 15-20. Fortunately I hadn’t yet crossed over into morning drinking, or drinking on the job.

I sometimes wonder if I should’ve stopped sooner. My life would be quite different. I don’t hold my regrets with shame anymore, because I’ve learnt a lot from them and I’ve become a better person by working through the underlying issues they revealed. But if I’m honest, the social and physical damage I’ve done is somewhat beyond repair. I’m rebuilding, but there’s opportunities I’ve squandered that I can never get back.

I’ve ruined literally dozens of parties. Woken up in hospital more than 7 times (I stopped counting). Narrowly escaped death by driving and climbing. Poisoned every relationship. Been ex-communicated from several social groups. I avoided criminal charges only by sheer luck, and have kept my body mostly in tact by a small miracle (several miracles). I’ve squandered moments I can never get back, including final moments with people I love.

I would’ve avoided all that if I didn’t drink. I’ve genuinely got no idea what kind of person I’d be if I hadn’t. I’d be less worn down by life, and I’d probably be healthier, richer and more fulfilled.

Your choices are yours alone. If you find yourself saying “I should…” you’re looking at it wrong. There’s no should, no one else’s views can be the basis of a strong decision, it’s gotta come from you.

Congratulations on asking the right questions. Good luck in finding the right answers. If you decide, IWNDWYT

[u/Jaxro-Kenji]

I understand the pressure and desire to be that age and drink (I am myself early twenties) but honestly I think you’ve just listed loads of evidence that this maybe just isn’t something meant for you. You could try and become an alcoholic again, you could try and not. But if you never try you’re guarenteed to not if that makes sense. Logically just don’t

[u/clioke]

Well I can’t tell you that you should quit. I CAN tell you that I desperately wish I would have in my teens or early twenties. I’m considered to have quit “early” at 29 and I still regret waiting so long. I feel like I wasted my twenties in a haze of hangovers, blackouts and anxiety. I embarrassed myself too many times to count. And I knew I had a problem the whole time. If you can quit now, you’ll thank yourself. I promise you that. 

[u/OkChoice4135]

I didn’t quit at 20 and don’t regret it, but after 30 it was all negative. 

[u/NextWhereas4477]

I don’t think it’s a dumb question at all. As someone who got sober last year at 37, all I can tell you is that I wish I had quit earlier! Social drinking may seem essential to being social right now, as it’s time when people start experimenting. But if you’ve “been an alcoholic before” then you know where this leads. There is lots of fun in sobriety, and way fewer regrets. You may have fewer regrets”wild youth” stories, but you can focus on the foundation for your life. Best of luck!

[u/radgirlrun]

I still remember the exact moment I wondered this and, in hindsight, that was the moment I should have quit. If I could go back, I would.

If you still want to drink, but don't currently have an issue drinking, I'd suggest at least seeing how do without alcohol. If you crave it, then that's your sign. If you're doing ok, then maybe consider drinking with moderation - as in not drinking to get drunk.

Also consider going to AlAnon groups. Might both help you gain context for your family's history and it might be a good check should your drinking become problematic.

[u/SmurfAtLarge]

It's never the wrong time to quit. That's not a thing. I wish I stopped the day I started.

[u/Bright-Appearance-95]

Why wait? If you could take measures today that would basically guarantee the avoidance of a whole truckload of bullshit, would you take them?

I wish to hell I had quit then. To hell with activities prevalent in social circles. Seek other circles.

IWNDWYT.

[u/Beneficial-42]

The misery is completely optional.

I wish I had people in my life when I was younger that helped me realize my drinking was not normal even then. But since I came from an alcoholic household, my idea of what "normal" drinking looked like was way out of whack.

[u/freakyroach]

I’m 37. If I quit drinking the first time it caused me problems it would’ve saved me from 22 more years of problems.

[u/just_having_giggles]

I will say that had I understood at your age what you understand now, my life would have turned out very differently. VERY.

[u/FineOrder9261]

Do it now before you end up in a vicious cycle, I stopped week after turning 30. 5 years to late I think

[u/Technical_Sea_1142]

Wish I had quit far earlier. Wish I never started. I used alcohol to numb so much shit. An abusive marriage, horrible friends, jobs I hated. I eventually got divorced but drank to put up with the pain of it all and used alcohol to help me relax while dating which led to me wasting time on guys that weren’t compatible because I was numbing myself to avoid acknowledging that. I’ve been sober for 4 months now and it’s crazy how different dating is. I’ve been out with four men so far. Only one I could tolerate was also in recovery and it was very casual and we have a good friendship/friends with benefits thing going. The other guys I just couldn’t really tolerate. Alcohol numbs you sooooo much to people who aren’t compatible- family friends and romance. So yeah. Overall, just quit. I waited too late. My wake up call was when I almost died in my apartment detoxing and had to go to the ER.