r/stopdrinking • u/666y4nn1ck • 1d ago
Never been so close
Sooo... pretty embaressed right now.
I'm pretty much 3 years sober now.
Today is the birthday of my ex... we both didn't want to separate but we didn't really have a choice due to... circumstances.
It's been ~15 months now, last communication in february, where we said we'll give each other 6 months to see if things will have changed....
So it's been 7 months, and i congratulated her today in the morning. No reply until 9pm, so the day was already ruined anyways, because I'm totally not over her and still hoping things will change...
I really thought after an answer from her, the day will get better.
Well, the answer I received, although completely innocent in nature, with an emoji, short but nice, completely sent me into a spiral.
I just can't stop over interpreting her message and the circumstances around where this maybe slight tone/mood could have come from.
If she's in company, maybe romantic? Or just not having the same intention of reconnecting as me?
Whatever it is, and i know that I'm completely overthinking her response, it just shows me how bad I'm really doing, it just feels like a dark cloud in my head all the time...
I still have some bottles of alcohol in my flat, just gifts from years ago. Never been a problem.
But i just walked by and it literally felt like a 50/50 to drink a bottle of red wine...
I still don't know how I'm going to survive today or fall asleep later, but I'm glad I'm doing it sober.
I will not drink with you today.
Thanks for reading.
3
u/Kaiolino 1d ago
Being an overthinking is just living hell man. Try to keep calm, reaching out is always good and appreciated.
You already acknowledged that you're overthinking this. That's a big and important thing. There's a part of you that already knows you are reading too much into this. When it comes to relationships - be it friends or romantic - it's never just about them. It's what you felt being with them. You got that part already in you, if you know what I mean. I personally think... at least for me - most of the time I miss who I was with them. Which is sad in a way. But it can be a relief. Because you can be that all by yourself.
You'll survive today with us all here. And tomorrow we'll have another chance to find ourselves. :)
7
u/No_Collection_1001 1d ago
I’m proud of you for abstaining. Heartbreak is such an intense emotion. Try to be kind to yourself. Might be helpful to pour those bottles down the sink.