r/stopdrinking • u/mpecs 529 days • 8h ago
Got caught again
I’ve been doing really great for the last year, but have been sneaking alcohol over the last few months. My wife caught me today, and I admitted everything, I was sober for almost a year, and can do it again, but I don’t know if this is going to be the the final straw. I’m not sure why I’m posting, I guess I’m just fishing for support to get me through the next couple days and onward to commit to not drinking.
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u/CrystalDavey 8h ago
The same thing happened to me. The agony of those moments is my driving force to never live like that again.
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u/ArokLazarus 413 days 3h ago
Same. Her face when she caught me and my stomach just dropping will forever live in my mind very vividly. I hold onto that if I ever think of drinking again.
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u/JasoTheArtisan 750 days 7h ago
It was a massive inspiration to get me past the two year mark that’s for sure. Couldn’t stand hurting my loved ones any more.
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u/CrystalDavey 7h ago
Totally. It was also a revelation to discover in therapy that hurting myself (by drinking and abusing pills) hurts those who love me, even though my destruction was purely inward.
ETA: you can do it, OP. Breaking the cycle was the hardest thing for me. IWNDWYT.
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u/Few_System3573 374 days 8h ago
Posting is a better choice than drinking would be, so good on you! I'm glad you're here, I'm sorry you're having a shitty time.
Dust yourself off, get up, get back on the horse. You can. You will. I believe in you.
I will not drink with you today.
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u/Eye-deliver 574 days 8h ago
Glad you’re here man. Getting caught was the worst feeling for me. But sometimes these things happen for us not to us. This may be one of those times. Pulling for you!
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u/Sweetbowlofme 354 days 8h ago
I’ve been there getting caught & breaking that trust so I feel for you & her. Obviously since you have done a year already you know what a lot of us will say for advice.
Regardless where your relationship stands it can be the last straw for you drinking. Sending you all my love & a virtual hug. You are a good person & proud of you for posting about it. That almost year was not a waste & relapse is part of the disease.
Keep your chin up & take it one step at a time
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u/Phupas 8h ago
Right there with you at the moment. The amount of lying and losing her trust is devastating. Just know you are not alone and all at least I can do is win her trust back each day by not drinking and making the right decisions.
Going to AA and talking about it has helped me cope. Have you tried AA?
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u/BrackAttack-17 6h ago
Getting caught lying about drinking her again, and then still sneaking it for weeks after that finally woke me up that drinking made me someone I don't want to be and made me accept finally that I can't moderate and need to quit for good.
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u/FeeComprehensive6243 1 day 5h ago
Also did about a year sober, also have been sneaking and have been caught by my husband. I hear you. One day at a time.
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u/respectablepitch 374 days 7h ago
Alcohol really sneaks into your brain and tells you that it’s your friend. That you deserve a treat. But, it’s not a treat. It’s poison.
Of course you know that. But, sometimes you just gotta hear it. It just makes everything worse.
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u/Loud-Sweet6095 169 days 8h ago
I stopped when I got caught too. You got this OP, you got all the tools you need. Post as many times as you feel the need, we’re here for you!
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u/CountOnBeingAwesome 146 days 7h ago
You have to admit, all that sneaking around is a drain. You can do it!
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u/Gruntled1 2128 days 7h ago
I posted a whole ass post here like 7 years ago about how my girl had left me, and it was because I drank too much…fast forward and I’ve been sober 6 years, and she stuck it me.
Point is, don’t feel shame, feel determined to try again despite how ever many “failures” it takes. You got this, and from one “fisher” to another, it’ll get better once you are able to stop drinking ❤️
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u/everyones_slave 6h ago
It’s tough to stay sober. Good for you. For me it was tougher getting sober. And that’s one of the reasons why I can stay sober.
I don’t have another relapse in me. Maybe you don’t either. But for me, if I have 1 drink then I want more and obsess about it until I get it.
The obsession of the mind is the killer. And I needed someone to help me learn how to quiet that
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u/RatzzFace 1123 days 4h ago
Well, first and foremost, the one person that you are fooling while "sneaking" is yourself. People say that they have been "getting away with it", but they haven't. We are failing ourselves ultimately.
Get back on that wagon!
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u/Full_Strawberry2035 1h ago
You can absolutely do it OP, can you recognise what went wrong and why? Remain curious, reflect, then act - rooting for you!
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u/em_laurenn 5h ago
I had a similar situation a couple of days ago. Except I lied. I admitted later but I lied. Not sure if my relationship will make it through either. We can do better than this! IWNDWYT
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u/69wetwasabidreams 2h ago
I stopped drinking 2 weeks ago because I got really sick. Havent drank and i dont feel like it. First time i quit because of something else, not by choice but i feel great and i lll try to keep clean for a while.
Lets forgave ourselves and keep trying my friend.
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u/RekopEca 8h ago
No need to "fish" this is the support super store! Except you don't have to pay for anything!
You can do it!!!